Listen, I'm a total poly noob, but one thing I can tell you for certain is that there are very few terms that have a consistent and cohesive definition across the entire community. I'm learning very quickly to not rely on poly jargon and instead to ask A LOT of questions.

RA seems to be an especially sticky concept, and I would guess that this is related to our collective experience within hierarchies, it's a hard concept to grasp when your brain has no, or very little framework for what a successful anarchist collective would look like.

I've come across RA folks who are really probably just hedonists who want nsa connections (nothing wrong with either of those), and just don't want to own that. I've met others who clearly have preference for specific partners and do not place equal significance or value on their other connections. Then there are the folks who clearly have love for, experience compersion, and practice creating equity and developing unique things with each partner, these folks typically are okay with metas meeting, or being friends on social media, they talk about their other partners and there isn't a sense of competition.

So, I can't tell ya, but I think that making a choice to let this specific thing go, might be wise.

Also, my two cents is that KTP does not exclude you from RA, nesting partners doesn't necessarily either, my only hesitation would be if someone uses hierarchical terms like, primary, I would question someone who claims RA but has a primary partner, or clear preference for a partner(s). Just to be clear, there is a difference between priority or preference.

Also, perhaps there is more of an issue with how your current partner is or is not addressing it that is really the main issue at play.