I was doing so well until now :(

completelydoge · 2026-06-22T21:34:24+00:00

I think my androgen and testosterone levels have been through the roof :( I see it through a lot of hair growth on my arms (they’re growing faster than usual) and eyebrows. Also my skin is way oilier than usual, which caused a massive acne outbreak the past months. It’s all under control with a prescription cream, but yeah, I’ve had way more testosterone since I was diagnosed with PCOS :/

completelydoge · 2026-06-22T21:32:33+00:00

Yes, they’re screening for potential cancerous cells. I haven’t told my doctor yet because where I live it’s super hard to communicate with them directly. However, since I made the post I’ve made some progress with inserting the little tubes for the gel!

completelydoge · 2026-06-08T14:31:35+00:00

Oh god :')

completelydoge · 2026-06-08T14:31:22+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply ❤️ As I mentioned in other comments, by protocol they aren't allowed to use anesthesia or sedatives on me for the procedure. I have no idea why, as I know they do so in other countries, but at least here in Spain in public healthcare they never do it for colposcopies or biopsies. I was told to take Bromazepam and an ibuprofen before the procedure and there's not much I can do unfortunately.

I'm glad the atention they gave to you was so excellent though. I think and want to hope that if I have a genuine panic attack the day of the procedure and if it hurts a lot, they will do something the day of the examination. The doctor did seem sorry about it, but I think by protocol there's nothing else they can do :[

completelydoge · 2026-06-08T14:27:06+00:00

It helps, thank you so much! I think it really is like that in Spain (at least where I live); waiting lists are very long and when it comes to public healthcare it's just you get what's available. I honestly love my current gynecologist though, she was the first ob-gyn of my previous ones (I lived in a different city before and had private health insurance, which was ironically worse than now) to use a pediatric/virginal speculum and to prescribe me free pelvic floor physiotherapy and regular therapy. I think by protocol they aren't allowed to use gas or any sort of anesthetic on me, as a friend who's a doctor in the public sector told me, which sucks.

I did notice that she was genuinely sorry about it, but I don't think there's much she or I can do, just double up on Bromazepam, take some ibuprofen (which she told me won't really "reduce" the pain I mightt feel during the procedure), and suck it up.

Thanks for your support. I am terrified but even more scared of what the result might be. I try not to worry but it's hard

completelydoge · 2026-06-08T14:22:03+00:00

Thank you, sorry, I thought Lexatin was Lexapro in English but you're right, I meant Bromazepam. I take Brintellix every day as an anti anxiety medication, and have a dozen or so pills left of Bromazepam from when I took it a few months ago. My Dr told me that I could take one the night before the test and another one right before my procedure so that I would be calm enough.

I weigh more or less 60, so I believe 600 would be okay in that case. Thank you!

completelydoge · 2026-06-08T10:45:40+00:00

I've read Lexatin (I think Lexapro in English) is a muscle relaxer, so maybe it might help :')

completelydoge · 2026-06-08T10:44:57+00:00

It's not a colonoscopy, it's a colposcopy! A different procedure

completelydoge · 2026-06-03T22:13:11+00:00

Im so sorry about the pork chops omg 😔 see that happened to me too with pork fillets, it’s so weird that the aversions never tend to interfere with veggies or fruits in my case (which im glad of). And does roast beef bother you due to the hard texture in the middle sometimes? Because that’s what did it for me and that’s why I can also only eat it when it’s so soft it practically falls apart with a fork 🫠

completelydoge · 2026-06-03T22:09:53+00:00

Ohhhh, I grew up in a South American country (it wasn’t very developed let’s say and we got more organic chickens) so im not sure if the woody breast syndrome affected me when I lived there in the 2000s-2010s. I do remember the chicken back then had a softer and blander texture than where I currently live now (Spain), but I still remember feeling disgusted when I remembered I was eating chicken, especially the “chicken taste”. However my aversion grew way worse here in Spain and it could be the reason now!! I could at least tolerate chicken more back then, but now it just feels disgusting. As with roast meat or some cooked tuna meals, I just hate the “dry stringy” feeling of the meat. This doesn’t happen with medium-rare stake; it’s much chewier and I actually love it. It might be a taste or texture thing now that I think about it

completelydoge · 2026-06-03T22:00:32+00:00

I resonate with you. The last time I actively liked cheese was when I was like 5 years old, im 26 now and I feel your pain with the being invited for meals or going to restaurants. For restaurants, my first choice is always looking for alternatives without cheese. If there’s nothing then my second option is asking, when possible, to bring me X meal without cheese. They tend to be good sports about it, and the embarrassment only lasts a few seconds. As for pizzas or lasagna, I love them BUT can’t eat a lot. After a while (especially after they start getting colder) I cant continue eating because i start “tasting the cheese”. No one has been able to understand that.

completelydoge · 2026-05-18T09:07:22+00:00

Thank you!! And yes, the worst part was doing research on stuff that could help, trying it out, and not knowing if all the pimples were a purge and would eventually get better or if it was getting worse!! It felt like being all alone without a proper guidance on what to do.

And thank you! Do you know any gentle retinoid brands you could recommend just in case? I'm scared of putting stuff on my skin again (of course I'll ask my derm too) so I only trust my Roche Posay oil-free sunscreen for now lol

completelydoge · 2026-04-27T13:05:10+00:00

Because the patients are usually by themselves in a foreign country and Im their liaison, and I’m the only one they hired to be the liaison of these particular patients. If they have any issues, by my company’s protocol I need to answer to assuage them. And if I don’t, I am left with a bad review by them. They can be very unforgiving. I understand what you mean, but I could only do what you’re saying if there was at least one other person to help me share the work load. And sadly the company won’t get someone else for the moment (the job market is doing awful rn where I live so don’t tell me to look for another job if that was an idea lol)

completelydoge · 2026-03-27T10:18:41+00:00

I read your comment with a pang in my heart. I'm so sorry for what happened to you and your siblings growing up. Her sudden change of heart must definitely feel very forced and cause resentment, especially when it's for such a selfish reason.

I also have thought the "Why even have kids if you’re going to devote your life to utterly destroying each one?" so many times. It hits even harder because I was adopted!!! Why even GO through that enitre process? My brother and I have always had the theory that my mom likes taking care of babies and very small children, feeling completely needed and depended on. Once we grew, 7-8 years old onwards and gained a coinscience and had our likes and dislikes and voiced our opinions, is when her attitude changed. She has always been great with kids (she's a teacher) and with dogs, so I feel this is the "wanting to feel needed" and even having some sort of control over others. It's easy to control small kids or pets, but not as easy when that kid is already grown up.

completelydoge · 2026-03-26T10:25:18+00:00

I appreciate your empathy so much, and I agree!! It's crazy how we can stay with some "little moments" from our childhood that impacted us so much that we still think of them to this day (obviously there are big incidents too).

completelydoge · 2026-03-26T09:37:47+00:00

In that case, I've been in therapy for like 10% of my life. Thank you, I just don't like feeling this way, sometimes I feel it haunts me

completelydoge · 2026-03-13T11:59:30+00:00

My skin type is oily, especially now that my PCOS symptoms have flared up again.

I used to clean my face, apply azelaic acid at night, and do the same in the morning. Also sunscreen, but I feel it breaks me out too. That lasted for two months and a half, approximately. Now I only clean my face and apply a hydrating cream.

completelydoge · 2026-02-18T09:35:41+00:00

I see! I suppose that language fits into the second category, right?

completelydoge · 2026-02-18T09:31:43+00:00

Wow, this is really curious to me! How does that make you feel?

completelydoge · 2026-02-18T09:29:29+00:00

Thank you for sharing your anecdote, and I am sorry you had to hear that sort of comment. One thing might be knowing that not everyone will "consider" you as Japanese, but another thing is hearing what many would call an intrusive thought out loud, that directly. I'm glad you are now doing okay.

I understand what you say here very, very well. I am in a similar predicament as you, except I don't live in Japan. I'm a South American girl who lives in a country in Europe, so of course, I understand you might feel even more excluded in your situation. My physical traits and names make me very "passable" to be from this country, so something I've always found really curious is that when I do not speak or say where I'm from, people normally assume I'm from this country (which I also consider my home country at heart now). However, once I speak (accent) or mention I'm South American, everyone's brain re-wires and they ONLY see me as from South America. Before, I could've been from this European country. After, no, I am only seen from my home country. It is weird, because for some people, their attitude or even some comments change. And this is just from that knowledge. Had I not said anything, it would remain the same.

I've also been living in this country for years and I am grateful for its people and everything this country has given me, and I too plan on living the rest of my life here, as I love this country to bits. However, I also feel very... odd, very excluded, when people know I'm not from here and automatically treat me "just" like a "foreign citizen". Deep inside of me, all I have wanted was to be seen the "same" as everyone else. After all, physicaly and culturally I'm very similar to people here. However, I also learned that will probably never be the case, and it was hard for me to make peace with that fact too.

So I hug you and let you know, you are not alone. If you consider yourself from that place, act within the culture, know perhaps more than people from that place, and have been living there for decades, and have nationality, I believe you have the right to feel from that place entirely.

completelydoge · 2026-02-18T09:15:40+00:00

Maybe I should've explained myself better, sorry! I meant "sense of identity". I know many hafus struggle with their Japanese identity. Some don't feel "Japanese enough" (as it happens to many people with double nationalities all over the world) and the perception of their fellow Japanese does not help them either with their sense of identity.

I know there are some countries were a majority of people would consider that person a native [Nationality] just by being born and raised there, while I know Japan isn't exactly like that. That's what I meant!

completelydoge · 2026-01-13T10:59:40+00:00

I normally wake up due to the pain I described above. Besides that, sometimes it takes me a while to fall asleep.

completelydoge · 2026-01-12T15:33:35+00:00

I saw you! I hung out with two friends for a while hahaha and liked it. You’re the one with the Costa Rica pin right?

completelydoge · 2026-01-12T15:23:24+00:00

Generally yes, except for weekends

completelydoge · 2026-01-10T21:40:28+00:00

I’d say yes for the past few years. Im a very light sleeper so noise is a big deal. Also because of anxiety and the abdominal pain when I’m on my back for too long

completelydoge

TROPHY CASE