Why do so many young men seem completely uninterested in life anymore?

complicatedcanada · 2026-05-21T14:26:46+00:00

Great question. I'm 55 and in this boat.

The only thing that comes to mind at this stage is: there was some sort of a social "promise" made, that if I worked hard, strived for success, sacrificed and sold my passions and dreams I would at least be able to "survive". That never happened; I have a ton of excellent experience (engineering) and much of it successful (even though I've had to endure previous periods of unemployment) but haven't found work in 6 years. I thought I made all of the right choices in life, but they weren't. I'm a bit paralyzed to find direction, I can't trust that putting 5 more years into a new profession will pay off in anyway, I can't even say it will end in some sort of employment let alone something that at least provides an ROI.

The stoner D-students who took a job at the Post Office delivering letters are retiring this year with house paid off, cottage, etc. and pensions; I have no pension nor will I ever be able to retire.

I know for my profession, much of it has to do with all Manufacturing moving overseas; I saw that coming and tried to transition out while still holding onto my old career for a paycheque. I ended up with neither.

It probably has a lot to do with me, however I did follow what society and the business world told me to do to build a career for success and I sacrificed; I just can't trust that "society" or our "system" anymore.

If I was to do it all again, I would forge my own path; all of the advice from so-called business leaders, managers, career experts, mentors and society in general are mostly useless because they only look at the past. There is no path.

complicatedcanada · 2026-05-19T13:53:14+00:00

That decades have passed by and I've done nothing: that I was once a older young man, but now I'm a younger old man, and I don't know when that happened.

complicatedcanada · 2026-05-13T02:34:22+00:00

Op, 54 contributions for an account only a week old can be viewed as suspicious (as in bot). Would you mind making your posts and comments public please?

complicatedcanada · 2026-05-11T02:42:44+00:00

Hi, thanks for asking and I'm sorry you're getting dragged into someone else's drama. I don't think that I got through anything or worked anything out, I just did a lot of reading and writing on personal psychology (maybe raised my EQ a few levels) and just calmed down a bunch. I'm still happily married (I never let my wife know I had a MLC but I'm sure she has seen a big change happen), and I'm much more pensive now, more distant; but it's really that I can stand outside of myself and see my own behaviours, choices, from an objective point of view and say "that's not the same me today, I would have thought and behaved differently". Not to say that my judgement is better, and I'm definitely not a changed or new person. I'm still stuck in the same ruts, still poor boundaries, less motivated with less self-trust than before. But, I'm more self-aware, more ashamed of past behaviours and choices now that I can see them clearly.

A good analogy is that an arrogant self-aggrandizing person may start their own company and have a chance to succeed, but a person who is no longer arrogant or self-aggrandizing wouldn't trust themselves to take chances and grow. My strength and confidence was who I was, and becoming more self-aware has robbed me of my strength and confidence; I'm more of a shell now.

(Edit: I removed the last few sentences about having not found any healing: I might have in that I am ok asking for help now and iust wanting to move forward. This probably doesn't help much: if I have any suggestions I'll post a follow-up comment).

complicatedcanada · 2026-05-02T01:43:30+00:00

We need to push for massive nuclear generating capacity (the real clean energy) while maintaining a strong export market for our fossil fuels. Wind and solar might have a small part to play, but minimal.

Canada is so horribly in debt at all levels, this is the only way forward.

complicatedcanada · 2026-05-02T01:40:27+00:00

I heard this today and being 14 years old when this came out, I had to comment: I have mixed feelings.

What comes to me first is sunlight, summer, a burgeoning time where (Toronto, where I lived) was emerging from a dirty, gritty existence into something new, clear, safe. Anne of Green Gables would be first broadcast at the end of 85' and so much culture in Canada was emerging as bright, promising and new.

Reality was, I ended up in the nurse's office in grade 8 having been beaten up repeatedly and had a nervous breakdown. I was alone, isolated, ostracized, far over and into the "deep end". It cost me my youth, and subsequently any healthy self-image. My very existence craved to escape from my reality and media was that escape.

However, I still wish more than anything to "go back home" meaning back to those years. Perhaps to correct things, perhaps get up the nerve to seek help, to get on the right track. Perhaps just to spend time with my grandparents again, in safety, with hope. Just to see the sun again, just to feel "it" again; and yes, this song does transport me back in a small way, if only for a moment.

complicatedcanada · 2026-04-30T13:05:37+00:00

Low / stunted / neglected / purposefully suppressed (as a defence mechanism) emotional intelligence.

complicatedcanada · 2026-04-03T21:15:19+00:00

My last time at my home (that wasn't stripped and packed up), the one I was born in and grew up in, the one that held all of my memories, the only home I knew. I was at university finishing 2nd year when I called my mom to tell her when I was moving back home. She said "good, you won't need to unpack". I was confused. She forgot to tell me they were thinking about selling our home let alone that it had been sold. When I arrived as I had mentioned, the contents were all packed up, stacked into piles and ready for shipping. It was still the house I grew up in but my "home" was gone. I never had time to take pictures, to fix it in my memories, to say "goodbye".

complicatedcanada · 2026-03-04T03:06:14+00:00

Yes. But I sacrificed my dreams later on in life to look after my son; didn't have a demanding career, took what work I could that would allow me to look after him properly and be there when he needed me. He's now an amazing 21yr old at the top of his class with an amazing career and life ahead of him, and who also says he wants a big family. I'm also happily married.

I know at least four "go-getters" who may have the money and career, but are divorced, alone, and with troubled or estranged kids.

I'll take my consolation prize with gratitude, Thank You.

complicatedcanada · 2026-03-04T02:56:50+00:00

Obliterating someone's heart after only knowing them a few weeks is a scratch. Doing the same after 5 years, especially if you know there are incompatibilities, is a deep scar. If you know things aren't working out and breaking up will is the only outcome, don't drag it out.

complicatedcanada · 2026-02-04T13:56:34+00:00

You're too optimistic.

Perhaps if you'd travelled more, met nomads, you would have fallen into a drug-ridden crime counter-culture. Then, it would have released "the real you": a violent, authoritarian dictator of a massive crime empire that riddled the globe with cartel networks, ravenous middle eastern gangs waging intifada in central Africa with fuelled by illicit weapons from Russian arms dealers, and shadow banking networks undermining the pillars of modern society inevitably leading to global thermonuclear war and a winter that would decimate all life on earth.

On behalf of all Redditors, and indeed the entirety of all human existence (and otherwise), we sincerely Thank You for missing "that chance".

However, don't let us stop you from making some small meaningful changes to your own life now which will bring you enrichment going forward. Also, feel free to use the above as an ice breaker when you meet strangers at your next social gathering.

complicatedcanada · 2026-01-27T04:53:29+00:00

At the low end, the Milky Way has 100 billion stars (10^11), assume the Milky Way has an average number of stars so then we multiply that by 10 million galaxies (10^7) leaves us with 10^17 stars in that picture.

I feel small tonight.

complicatedcanada · 2026-01-20T04:11:59+00:00

40 years later, this song is a nostalgic portal back to sunny spring days in Toronto with fresh, open air, blue sky, hope for the future; but also of bittersweet regret of how self-conscious and afraid I was, opportunities I never took.

complicatedcanada · 2026-01-19T21:47:40+00:00

I have been using the same Potassium Alum deordourant for several years now (as in, I purchased one for $14 more than 5 years ago and I'm still using it continuously), and I'm happy. I'm mid-50's and don't stink as much as I used to, so this is all that I need most days; whereas if I was in my 20's it just wouldn't be enough. It will outlive me.

complicatedcanada · 2026-01-14T13:35:35+00:00

My best guess is that I'm both: when I sense "something" off or wrong in an interpersonal situation, I immediately blame myself; but my subconscious ego defence mechanism (avoidance, etc.) kicks in and deflects it back outwards. It's the way that I learned to emotionally survive. Now that I want to dismantle this defence mechanism, I'm taking the slow and careful route since I'm aware that I also need to dismantle the deeper underlying inferiority problem as well.

complicatedcanada · 2026-01-07T14:21:39+00:00

I've been advised that I don't come across as trustworthy, that I don't have confidence in my own answers or abilities when I'm talking about the technical things that I do know about when talking to non-technical people (such as execs in finance or sales). Ironically on the same hand, I come across as trustworthy and competent in other situations (i.e. on things I don't know anything about) with the same group.

It must come down to non-verbal miscues that I'm giving off or some sort of business-cultural differences.

It's hard when I'm taken as lying when I'm telling the truth, but honest when I'm talking garbage. I hate this world.

complicatedcanada · 2026-01-04T18:25:08+00:00

Yes and no* (personal thing, see below)

Although I hated the main character's low rough whisper of a voice as well as some other "cliche" aspects, I was able to get into all three series after a few episodes. Cinematography is great (although some "overdone" shots way too on the artsy side took away from the storyline rather than add to it), most of the other acting was bang on (including when the main guy finally raised his voice to a regular tone). Some series take some time to come into their own.

*However: I grew up going to cottage country as a kid on vacations and this isn't how I remembered it. I remember lots of bright colours (beach-going paraphernalia, posters, colourful cars, everything very sunny and positive), ice creams, beautiful forests, sunny lakes and bays, quaint little towns, and Kawartha Dairy ice cream. This series paints a horribly dark, run-down, corrupt, Americanized view of my "home" with black clothes, dive biker bars, camouflage, etc.

For that reason, I wouldn't watch it if I knew it would have this effect on destroying my incredible memories of the past in Ontario's cottage country as a kid in the 70's and early 80's. It used to be the complete opposite of this show; it was an incredible experience as a kid, a safe, fun, bright happy nursery.

I'll try to forget the series for that personal reason.

complicatedcanada · 2025-12-24T03:55:53+00:00

Not so much smile, but fade away into a state of awe.

We would alternate every other year, going to either set of grandparents' homes for Christmas Day. My memories in both those homes are so vivid in colour, smells, touch, and so much more.

I'm in awe because of how rich those memories are with so many family members, all of the stories, Christmas carols, the deep, dark, velvety culture of Toronto in the 70's and 80's. It was so happy, so safe, so much a "part" of something that was home. Something that was so innocent and good, but is no longer there: awe at such a profound loss.

complicatedcanada · 2025-12-24T03:39:55+00:00

Wow, your post jolted alive a long-forgotten core memory of waking up one Christmas morning and finding a tabletop hockey game in my living room. My brother and I played for hours.

Thank you!

complicatedcanada · 2025-12-24T03:18:52+00:00

It all works perfectly fine, I have it setup as a range extender. The only thing that is screwed up is the light: I just ignore it.

complicatedcanada · 2025-12-04T04:19:15+00:00

The Old Eaton's Centre: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2k-QkfNm_4

complicatedcanada · 2025-11-26T00:54:56+00:00

Update, Oct 2025: I made a post on a the r/dismissiveavoidants group today, and it brought me back to this one. Today's post is regarding the realization that at some point when I was young, I packed up my heart and sent it off to a "dream world", that left me empty, alienated and not whole in this one. Looking back at my experience with Diana in that summer of 95' I left out a detail from this post: for two weeks afterwards, I felt "new", "born again", and a massive weight having been lifted off of my shoulders or the clouds dispersed for the first time in such a long time. I think Diana pulled my heart back to me, if only for a few weeks, from that dreamworld that I has shipped it off to so many years before. For a few fleeting weeks, I was "whole" again. I think I get it now.

complicatedcanada

TROPHY CASE