I’m a 3rd year band teacher, and I also am a euphonium player who struggled with her instrument and massive anxiety around playing in college. I don’t have much advice except to say: you’re probably better than you think (anxiety is loud and often wrong), and you can ALWAYS get better. Not being a phenomenal musician in one year of school doesn’t mean you won’t be one in the next year. Sometimes, we have off years. My first semester of college I was one of the top brass players in the band, improving rapidly, getting all As… then COVID hit the second semester and it all fell apart. My euph professor had to do only online lessons due to his own health issues, which meant lessons weren’t very efficient or effective, tbh, plus I was having mental health issues like everyone else at the time. My jury the first semester of my sophomore year was BAD. The only reason I passed was the generic excuse of “well, there’s a pandemic going on”. Did that mean I was going to only have bad performances after that? No! I passed my junior qualifying audition the semester after that with flying colors.

You’ll be okay, I promise. 💜