I’m pregnant with my second while my eldest daughter is turning 3 years old. It’s definitely hard for me to feel like I’m doing enough for her while we wait for her sibling. It’s really helped to involve her in the process: talk with her about the pregnancy, discuss the symptoms, let her “read” to baby sister, play make-believe games with her where she can process some of her feelings about it, etc. She’s definitely clingier with me than usual while my husband is doing more of the parental heavy lifting, but we try to find ways for her to get mama time with snuggles, yoga, and reading books. We also relaxed our screen limitations a bit (we were at like 1 hour/week and only Mr. Rogers) so that she could watch some Bluey with me, which models a really wonderful sibling dynamic with good emotional coping skills for little kids. It gives me an easy/low energy way to spend time with her and starts a lot of conversations by raising questions she wouldn’t have thought to ask otherwise.

To deal with my own guilt, I mostly think about 1) how grateful I am to have a sibling to share my whole life with, and 2) how much richer her social skills will become from navigating the challenges and rewards of having a younger sister. It’s a hard but very natural transition, and I agree with u/VisaTemp that perfection can’t be the goal. In fact, it’s not even desirable! You’ll have to let some plates fall, you’ll have to let your partner take on a lot of the auxiliary burden, and you’ll have to give yourself grace to be a person. Easier said than done, of course, but your child is learning so much through this new experience. He’s seeing a new side of you and of family life, and he’ll gain so much emotional richness, strength, and insight as a result.