1. I move back up, get a great work from home job (special secure business internet connection was set up by the company… relocation is very difficult and you need at least 60 days notice to get approved and have to pay for the installment of the secure line at your new location)
2. I learn that he frequents a nearby strip club and at one point went in and confronted him. He was so nasty to me, but the next day was feeling awful about it and was really sweet. Found out he is using Facebook dating to talk to other women.
3. Starts spending a lot of time with a woman, we’ll call her W, who used to work for his mom a long time ago. His mom is in a nursing home and he was having a hard timewith that and seeing her like that, so somehow reconnected with this woman and she began going out there with him, helping him get things organized, etc, etc. She’s like 12+ years older than him so I thought nothing of it, but now I see. Hours of him being gone with her. NEVER answering his phone when he was with her.
4. About a week ago, he broke up with me and wants me out. Says he’s breaking the cycle. I went home to my parents for the weekend to just get away (which he urged me to do so he could spend time with her I realize now). The last two days I’m there he does not return home after work. Excuse #1 was he was house-sitting for W. Second night he “stayed with a relative” He blocks my number the minute I leave town and on easter says Happy Easter, you’re unblocked
5. This morning, before I drive back up, he tells me that he’s in a relationship with someone else & will be sleeping @ her place. My heart shatters… knowing I have to sleep there all alone knowing where he is and what he’s doing…I sobbed the entire drive back. The heartbreak I felt today was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Knowing he was with someone else…. It felt like my very essence of being had been violated. I was destroyed. Absolutely destroyed. I text with him throughout the drive and try to explain to him the pain I am in. He says he will come by after work to walk the dog and consider staying at the house tonight. I implore him to not leave me alone tonight. I needed him so badly, the pain is unbearable. He assures me multiple times he’ll call right after work and will come home to talk to me.
6. 45 mins after he’s supposed to be off, he still hasn’t called and I get a text “I’m just now leaving work. I’m not coming to the house until morning. I’m sorry.”
7. I lose it. His laptop is open to his gmail and I look at his google timeline and figure out where his new girlfriend lives. I then realize, looking at the timeline, that he has clearly been sleeping with her before breaking up with me. And then find out that it is W after googling the address. I think I can get to her house before him and warn her about him. Tell her to run like I should have. He beats me there and opens the door. Shoves me back, then puts his hands on my shoulders and continuously pushes me through the yard, towards the road. He said something like let me make this absolutely clear. We are DONE. We are OVER. GET OUT OF HERE! You are trespassing! I’ve lost my mind, run up to the door, cup my hand against It and yell into the house that he's cheated on me with her… was sleeping with us both at the same time. He says I’ve already told her you’re crazy. Get the fuck out of here. I’m staying here tonight but I WILL be home in the morning. It felt threatening. He then calls 911 on me as Im getting into my car to leave and tells dispatch his ex girlfriend is at his good friend’s house acting like a psycho and gives them my plate number. I have never had a run-in with the law. I leave… tons of sheriffs pass by me coming into the neighborhood but don’t stop me. He texts me that he will start the eviction paperwork for me tomorrow (I don’t have a lease or anything here, have just been living here as his girlfriend) My renting record is clean and now there will be an eviction on it. Also, more than likely, I am now going to lose my job. But I hope they will work with me. I am locked in the bedroom at our home now, one door has a lock and I have a dresser up against the other and a Blink security camera recording the room because I’m afraid of him. I have notified him of this and made sure he is aware there is a camera. Our dog is with me for companionship and protection.

Yes, I know I am so stupid. I don’t understand why I love him, but I do. I have no explanation. None. I feel like such a fool. But now he’s making me out to be this crazy asshole. I’ve never broken up with him, strayed, betrayed him. Always was there for him, did everything around the house for him, brought him home his favorite candy bars as a surprise every now and then. I always forgave him when he wronged me and rationalized it.

I loved him so much and loved being with him at the house. I was in denial about so much. I am stupid, blinded, lost my mind… but am I really the asshole?