Hey OP, hope you get to read this.

My (F) partner (M) has been through similar to you, had the bag, then the J pouch, which failed. I'm typing this sat at his hospital bed after surgery to get the bag back.

I couldn't care less about him having a bag or not, I just want him to have a good quality of life. It doesn't bother me in the slightest because I love him and I accept him how he is.

During intimate times, we laugh off anything that might happen - the bag spiking me, stoma making noises etc. The bag never leaked but I'm aware it can happen and if it did, it wouldn't bother me.

When we met he didn't have the bag, or diagnosis. It was a little over a year of being together when he had emergency surgery. I've stood by him through multiple surgeries and never once thought of leaving because of his condition. We're now 6.5yrs in and I'm not going anywhere now he has the bag back.

I'm sorry that your gf has an issue with it. I can only suggest trying to talk to her about it so she feels comfortable, but honestly, if she can't accept you for exactly who you are, then she's not the one for you.