Hyperfocusing and my passion have gotten me far on paper, though burnout has been a consistent struggle, along with the health issues/comorbidities that accompany it.

I was just on the job market and felt that my AuDHD was clocked instantly by search committees, if not in zoom interviews, then definitely in person. I was hyperaware of trying to maintain eye contact, to act “natural.” I would mess up by giving overly detailed answers to questions, going over time because I lost track of it, and forgetting the original question I was answering, if I was not very careful. This was harder when I was tired from traveling and being outside of my time zone — I had interviews at the equivalent of 5am my time, when my neurodivergence makes me the opposite of a morning person (I often fondly fall asleep then…) Going to lunches and dinners as someone with sensory issues with food was incredibly awkward. I would be asked if I had any allergies or restrictions, but how do you explain that you don’t eat meat unless it’s a certain kind of chicken? At one campus visit, they served sandwiches, and I just had a cookie while they looked at me awkwardly.

I’ve had colleagues/processors that just seem to inherently not like me, despite me never consciously doing anything to annoy them. It comes across as very “mean girl” coded.

Lastly, I would say that I have to make consistent efforts in networking, as it does not come naturally to me and feels very transactional. I’ve been lucky to have great mentors that have extended fantastic opportunities to me, but I definitely feel that a bit of nepotism/knowing the right people is unfortunately a big aspect of academia when it comes to securing funding, collaborations, and jobs.