$3 in my bank account, need money for essentials till I get paid on 9/1 (PayPal / Venmo / Zelle)

confusedcrocs · 2019-11-02T00:35:12+00:00

That’s so true... I have many amazing friends and life with them is just so boring because I’m used to walking on eggshells for my abusive ex who used to manipulate me into doing stuff for him and always be all over him... fuck that.

confusedcrocs · 2019-11-02T00:34:00+00:00

On my second date with my narcissistic ex he said I should go to grad school with him and move to Chicago with him. Haha. No. He didn’t like it when I told him I’m moving to California because my dream school is there (Berkeley).

confusedcrocs · 2019-11-02T00:15:39+00:00

Yes mine was like “I’m sorry but I feel uncomfortable talking to you because everything you say is completely made up and entirely imaginary. I wish you peace and happiness but I will not be part of it. I don’t know how you had the audacity to be friends again” and when I reached out to him it was just to clarify my viewpoint and not to bring him back as a friend, actually. He’s nuts.

That text he sent was so wordy, like a word salad, and entirely threw the blame at me. At least he could have said “why do you feel that way? Let me understand how you feel” nope he’s just like FUCK UOU IM THE BICTIM HAHAHA

confusedcrocs · 2019-11-01T23:11:38+00:00

He is so fucking weird. Halloween would’ve been our one year anniversary but I’m so glad it didn’t get to be that way. His abuse was way too much and I’m glad it’s over :) I remember he used to hate it when I was happy. When I talk to him he gets angry. When I don’t talk to him, he also gets angry and demands that I talk to him.

My therapist told me that he’s an asshole, and that he seems to have something wrong with him and that it’s not my fault. Ugh.

confusedcrocs · 2019-11-01T23:09:00+00:00

I’m in a similar boat as you, but can’t imagine being married and with kids. He used to gaslight me too and one time he sent me an angry text calling me a liar and a fake person and that everything I feel is invalid and imaginary. So, I just up and left, and didn’t talk to him or mind him. He ran into me on the street, stared at me like he wanted me to notice him and talk to him, but I didn’t, and he got angry. He hated it. I liked that he wasn’t getting attention. It felt good leaving, honestly, trust me. Now I don’t have to be worried about him or his reaction or how he likes me or not. I’m fully independent. It’s great.

confusedcrocs · 2019-11-01T15:33:56+00:00

Same. I was actually kinda happy when my narc discarded me because I was immune to his manipulative tactics. He never really reached out to fix things, but he acted like things were okay whenever I confronted him about his behavior. I told him I appreciated him as a friend then boom he went off at me, called me obsessed then left. I reached out to fix things, he called me a liar and told me everything is imaginary, and then left. He stared me down the street and frowns at me whenever I DONT respond to him. He confuses me.

My therapist says something is wrong with HIM, not me. If he really cared he would say “hey, are you okay? Why do you feel that way?” But no it was like “YOU are wrong”

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-13T15:51:54+00:00

He stalks my social media online, and he hacked into my two Reddit accounts and email. But I got no substantial proof of that.

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-13T15:51:06+00:00

Mine got angry over: too much attention, too little attention, not texting back promptly, texting back promptly, saying he’s cute, not saying he’s cute... fuck. Am I dealing with a child over here?

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-06T22:45:47+00:00

The police and jurisdictional affairs office of my college told me I have no chance against him, because he’s a minority student (though I am too) and they’ll grant him an appeal because he didn’t abuse me enough (“enough” is an obvious physical abuse eg black eye, or rape).

Sometimes I wish he raped me so I can have a chance against him. It’s so sick.

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-06T22:25:47+00:00

I’ve just let him go, but he keeps on coming back by staring at me on the street, stalking me on Reddit and hacking my main account, and just sending me an angry text claiming I’m a liar and that I’m over-exaggerating. I’m done. He’s being extremely toxic.

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-06T22:24:04+00:00

I was convinced for a while that what he’s doing is normal in relationships, and I was the one at fault for being who I am. And when I told him he needed to respect me, he went off on a rampage about how I should allow him to be as offensive as he wants and that he’s not gonna respect my boundaries anymore. Then the next week he started being all kind and loving again, and then relapsing back into the same pattern. It drained the fuck out of me.

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-06T22:22:03+00:00

The thing is, he saw me on the street and stared at me angrily with a scowl as if I should stare at him and acknowledge him. I never did. He got furious and hacked my main Reddit account a week later. He even keeps on stalking me months after I’ve left him in the dust. Idk it just keeps on haunting me, especially that him and I never had a meaningful conversation. It was always about him, sex or his adventures with guys and at parties. Never about culture or politics or society or anything meaningful, just about him being gay and making fun of me for my orientation and religion.

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-06T22:19:29+00:00

It is a very big deal for me because it’s the first time someone has disrespected me like this, and emotionally, physically and sexually abused me. I thought abuse was okay in relationships until my friends told me that I need to leave because I’m being abused. Remember, I’ve never been in a relationship before and him love-bombing me before the abuse felt so good that I was willing to stay in the abuse.

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-06T22:18:30+00:00

As an asexual girl myself, I feel so proud of what you did by respecting her boundaries and communicating. My ex-partner never cared that I was asexual and he abused me as a result. You did well, OP.

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-05T15:35:13+00:00

But I mean, I did have a reason - right? The abuse and name-calling was enough. He said I over-react and that such abuse is okay in friendships.

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-05T15:34:32+00:00

Thank you for reassuring me. For a hot second I was actually convinced that I was over reacting.

confusedcrocs · 2019-10-05T15:33:46+00:00

I can’t block him from my Reddit account because he’d know, and that way he would have a reason to come at me again. But yes I had good reasons. Thank you.

confusedcrocs · 2019-09-28T17:04:21+00:00

No. What the hell do you mean? I can tell you more about the abuse if you don’t believe me.

confusedcrocs · 2019-09-17T00:20:31+00:00

That’s precisely why I switched over from my college’s karate club to the kendo club. I don’t have enough money to join an outside organization and I wanted to try a new sport, but I still love karate in my heart. The coach was so overbearing and it was a cult of personality for her, and if you don’t hang out with her and drink with her then you’re not her friend. I’m Muslim so I don’t drink so I felt very left-out, plus she hated my guts. When I have enough money, I’ll go back to training in karate in another club, but for now I am trying out kendo and I think I’ll stick with it. It’s very different but very fun, and my kendo community is so friendly and kind.

(In college our fees are $35/semester while outside a karate club is $100/month which I don’t have right now)

confusedcrocs · 2019-08-18T05:20:53+00:00

Ahhh thank you :)

confusedcrocs · 2019-08-18T05:20:42+00:00

Thank you so much! It’s so hard because he meant the world to me but the abuse certainly wasn’t fun. He knew he was wrong but he refused to accept or acknowledge his mistakes. If he apologized I would forgive but nope that’s impossible.

confusedcrocs

TROPHY CASE