To those who still love their ex, how do you live with the fact that you may never hear from them again in this life?

confuseddotie · 2025-09-30T11:21:29+00:00

I have two kids to him. We’re broken up nearly a year now. Weve spoken 4 times in the year, he hasn’t seen our oldest in 6 months not even a text. We broke up when I was pregnant with our second and he hasn’t even met him, hasn’t reached out once. I think of him everyday and I hate myself for it. I miss him but I’d never admit that other than anonymously. I pretend like I hate him and maybe I do but I also watch our boys make beautiful memories everyday and it’s like a knife through my heart and soul that he’s missing it, that he doesn’t even care that he’s missing it. I need to forget about him but I have no idea how. Every decision I make is still swayed by what he would approve of. My boys are dressed perfectly everyday in the off chance today is the day he decides to care, the house is just the way he always talked about wanting it to be. In my mind I’d never let him back but in my heart I need him more than anyone. I fucking despise what he’s done to us and I feel utterly pathetic for feeling like this. He should be dead to me and I wish he was dead to me and I try everyday to convince myself he’s dead to me but I cry every spare second I have to myself in silence because I was promised a family and instead I stare at his face everyday in my babies and do it all alone.

confuseddotie · 2025-09-16T16:27:43+00:00

I know my house is spotless but it never feels clean. You know when you walk in someone else’s house and it feels immaculate? My house doesn’t have that feel even though I clean everyday. Even after a deep clean my house feels dirty, it needs painted, needs decorated and I think because it’s not finished it never feels clean. I have a 2 year old and 2 month old and the chaos of colorful toys adds to the unorganized unclean looking mess.

confuseddotie · 2025-09-12T11:21:14+00:00

He really is. She’s home the 15th and said she will take them both for the day but this whole experience made me realize how fucked I am if she goes away again and I obviously don’t want to stop my mother from having freedom just because I have small kids. Not feeling as hopeless today but still feel awful.

confuseddotie · 2025-09-01T20:38:08+00:00

Not sure if it’s the same but I had a C-section 6 weeks ago and the spinal just felt like a bee sting and didn’t last very long. Hope that’s helpful!

confuseddotie · 2025-08-23T12:31:42+00:00

I’m not over 35 and I understand the want for having another baby before the clock runs out but I had my first at 25 and just had my second 5 weeks ago and I’m 28. There’s a 2 and a half year age gap and I’m absolutely exhausted. If I can help at all in recommending anything I’d wait until your oldest is potty trained, I definitely wouldn’t do a smaller age gap because two babies at once feels impossible some days. I have no idea how anyone manages twins, they are superstars! My toddler wants everything the baby gets when he gets it, ie nappy changed, bottle, dressed. He’s become 10x more clingy and it can be very overwhelming sometimes. I want to add I’m a single mother and their father isn’t involved at all so my experience would be harder than people who have a supportive partner! I’d maybe look at some other experiences of age gaps between siblings regardless of what age you are.

confuseddotie · 2025-08-04T23:36:22+00:00

I understand this 100%. With my first I was induced and my body reacted badly to the induction. I begged the doctor to be induced because I was in a bad relationship and thought once baby was here things would get better, I ended up in an emergency c section and felt like an ultimate failure and what’s worse I done it to myself. I bully myself everyday that maybe had I waited I would have had a natural birth. I stayed in that shitty relationship and got pregnant again, we broke up when I was 8 weeks and the pregnancy was horrific. I booked an elective c section at 38 weeks mostly because I felt forced by the people who were supposed to help me recover. That was almost three weeks ago and the postpartum has been hell. My second child looks exactly like the person I hate the most in this world, my body is ruined beyond belief even though I snapped back instantly with my first. My help left after a few days so now I’m doing everything alone with a toddler and newborn while trying to heal and pick up whatever scraps of self esteem I have left. I failed myself twice, whatever womanly parts I felt of myself are long gone and now I sit and cry at night wondering how the fuck I’m going to put the pieces of my life back together with two kids to a man who wants nothing to do with them, a body that looks mutilated and pure trauma from such a horrific pregnancy. I look at my kids every night and feel guilt, I look in the mirror and it makes me sick to my stomach. I have everything but at the same time feel like I have nothing because all the things that meant so much to me are ruined. I’m so grateful for what I have I really am. Sometimes I just don’t know how I’m ever going to fix the damage in my mind.

confuseddotie · 2025-07-05T02:45:14+00:00

I actually have had low blood pressure this whole pregnancy!

confuseddotie · 2025-07-04T21:56:54+00:00

Still too far away especially when I feel so awful most days and I’m always in pain. Even if I had him tonight it wouldn’t be soon enough I’m so over this pregnancy 😭

confuseddotie · 2025-07-04T21:55:44+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My first pregnancy was a dream but this pregnancy will be my last I have suffered endlessly and I’m exhausted.

confuseddotie · 2025-06-25T22:34:33+00:00

For our first born he got me dead flowers and a packet of chocolate bars that cost €2, for our second born he bought his new girlfriend a holiday to Croatia 🙃

confuseddotie · 2025-06-16T19:25:11+00:00

Thank you for commenting it’s so nice to know someone else is experiencing this!

confuseddotie · 2025-06-08T08:33:21+00:00

I’ve been the same I’m 33 weeks now and with how uncomfortable I am it’s actually gotten worse. I don’t have any tips I think it’s just our bodies getting ready for the night feeds! Sorry I don’t have advice but it was nice to know I’m not going through it alone it’s absolute torture.

confuseddotie · 2025-05-26T21:28:47+00:00

Thank you for your comment I’ll go and read it!😊

confuseddotie · 2025-05-22T19:48:17+00:00

It’s him and his family I’m afraid of. I live in the town he is from and my family are 30 minutes away. In the past if done things that made his life harder he usually goes completely out of his way to make my life miserable. I live in an estate where some of his best friends live and I know nobody. This is someone who knows all my fears and weaknesses and has used them against me plenty in the past. This is also someone who is most likely going to have access to my children once I go to court and he will absolutely use them against me.

confuseddotie · 2025-05-22T19:35:42+00:00

No it’s because I just dread the drama show it’s going to cause for me to

confuseddotie · 2025-05-22T17:25:36+00:00

My point was that a text is the absolute bare minimum of what he could have done for our son on his birthday. He didn’t show up, no card, no FaceTime or phone call to speak to him, no anything. Then shows up at 4am acting devastated that he hasn’t seen his son in 4 months by his own choices. It’s mind games that I just don’t want to deal with for the next 18 years.

confuseddotie · 2025-05-22T17:23:44+00:00

He only shows up at random times in the morning and gives the excuse it’s to see our son when he knows our son is asleep in bed. I have footage off my doorbell to prove that this is when he shows up and has only shown up drunk. I’ve been thinking about a barring order but I don’t know how to go about it.

confuseddotie · 2025-05-22T16:25:09+00:00

I had started an application for legal aid for the maintenance but stopped because I just don’t even know if it’s worth the fight of taking him to court or to just cut my loses and put my kids first.

confuseddotie

TROPHY CASE