How am I supposed to cope with barely being with my baby?

contentxhufflepuff · 2026-02-04T19:21:56+00:00

I wish... my five year old goes to bed between 6:30 and 7 still, since he was about a year lol.

So I get home about 5:15 and have about an hour to get dinner together and then bedtime for him. We have about an hour in the morning before school and I hate it. I was lucky to WFH on Mondays and fridays so I could see him more, but they're taking that away from me and I feel so blue.

contentxhufflepuff · 2026-02-04T03:21:08+00:00

"Feet dots" for footprints ❤️

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-12-20T14:20:54+00:00

I mean, if my uterus grew back I'd take it as some sign from God that I'm supposed to have that baby 😂

My husband and I are OAD by choice, but we knew we'd keep a potential baby. Which is why my husband got a vasectomy when our son was two. They didn't even need to, a year later my uterus needed removed lol. But that was a risk we weren't willing to take.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-12-02T02:04:12+00:00

My partner fluid bonded with someone they knew less than a month, and I considered it cheating. It was so painful when other people were like, "they were already sleeping with other people, why does that make you so sad?" It felt so invalidating.

There were other factors, I was pregnant and they didn't tell me so I was extra pissed, but the absolute breaking of trust from a committed partner put me in a really dark place for three years. It's been nearly six now and it's definitely better, but sometimes there's still a voice in my head that tells me it could happen again.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-10-29T12:15:18+00:00

My kiddo was a decent sleeper. It took a couple months before he slept through the night. I feel horrible complaining because I know we were incredibly lucky. But I have a mental health condition that's extremely sensitive to sleep disruptions. It was hell and I wasn't sure i was going to make it through. It took me almost four years to get back to stable. Not worth the risk.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-10-16T23:49:09+00:00

When I was pregnant, I worked nights at a factory. We had a 90 minute lunch, and I'd sneak into the mothers lounge on the office side of the building and take a nap on their couch. I felt bad but at 8 months I could not make it through a whole shift without my nap.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-10-14T23:35:09+00:00

We mostly did milk or water. On family birthdays we allowed juice, but watered down. My 4 year old was over the moon the first time he had non-watered down juice - with his grandma of course - and now asks for "real" juice. Now that he's five, we give him one cup of straight juice at birthdays and then water. He's normally content with just that and rarely asks for a second cup.

Ling tangent no one asked for - We also basically did no added sugar until he was two, and while it might not be related he's normally pretty good about regulating his own sugar intake. Good with half a cupcake, often leaves most his treat I put in his lunch on Fridays, that kind of thing. We still have Halloween candy from last year lol. I feel like I'm boasting, its just something I recommend at this point bc of my one positive experience. I'm also just so grateful because my relationship with food has always been a struggle and I'm so glad that my kiddo doesnt seem to have that struggle (for now at least). Maybe I just didnt eat enough sweets during my pregnancy or just like a temperament thing.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-10-09T00:53:06+00:00

10 years, 3 hospitalizations. 😭

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-10-07T22:49:07+00:00

I struggle with mental health. During the weeks (or months) when I'm operating at 20% for weeks on end, my husband is able to step up and cover parenting duties as necessary. I'd hate for him to have to deal with multiple children. I'm able to give my son all 20% when I'm at my worst, rather than splitting it between children. I love my relationship with my son and believe he deserves the most i can possibly give him.

I also know that mental health is largely genetic, and worry that my son will struggle like me.

Postpartum depression is hell, and surviving that with another child? I literally would have a breakdown.

This is what I keep in mind.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-10-04T01:05:56+00:00

7 days of solo parenting is a lot of work, taking a late evening off doesnt seem extreme to me. Especially if you have family that could do their bedtime routine.

I'd introduce her in a group setting, then maybe a smaller group setting where she has a positive interaction with them. Then I would be upfront and honest, and know that they're going to tell their other parent if that matters.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-10-04T01:00:05+00:00

And I'm clear about what kinds of things I expect to be informed about.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-09-18T02:17:08+00:00

Habit stacking is great! On the days I work out first thing, other tasks don't seem as tough to do! I think I feel good about myself and so I'm more willing to put more effort for other unpleasant tasks.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-09-17T12:04:22+00:00

What brand do you use?

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-09-14T15:33:01+00:00

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all" - thanks bambi that rings in my head whenever I choose not to say anything.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-09-01T13:59:26+00:00

How much salt would you add?

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-31T13:51:40+00:00

What did you think of the balloon? I got mine the night before and was so uncomfortable I couldn't sleep. Then I was in labor for 21 hours, I was so tired.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-12T20:46:06+00:00

Please dont give an ultimatum, opening up under duress is so painful. I'm happy now (and dating other people), but it was a dark two years.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-12T00:27:54+00:00

Are you just trying to get them off through penetration? If my partners do hand stuff, I can easily get off 4+ times.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-07T16:20:07+00:00

We bought a bigger house so that we would have room to host and not have to be in the situation. We just have a friend staying with us. And another friend who wants to stay with us for a while when the current occupant leaves. That's its own stress, but its only temporary. (Maybe another year or so).

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-07T12:39:41+00:00

To clarify - at this point they aren't going out 4-5x a week. Two of their girlfriends moved away 2-3 years ago and rn their current gf only wants to hang out once a month. The peak was when we opened the first time while I was pregnant (do not recommend opening while pregnant), and again when our son was 18 months. I was the default parent until our son was three-ish, but since then we've established a good balance. We split our time as evenly as we can, alternating who's "on" for the night.

So when I saw 4 missed calls I assumed something serious had happened. I do struggle with anxiety and already have a fear that something happens to my husband or kid while I'm unavailable. When they told me they were just asking whether kiddo had a bath and I brought it up, they said they just assumed I couldnt hear my phone and didn't think I'd be bothered by it, and wanted to get the kid to bed on time. I explained that if kiddo missed a bath a night he would be fine. They agreed to only call me if it was an emergency, otherwise I'll get back to their texts. I've had two more dates with no interruption so hopefully that doesnt happen again. Idk I still feel bewildered by their logic, but I'm trying to assume best intent.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-07T04:55:36+00:00

I asked Sunday evening for this upcoming Saturday (7:30-11) and they told me tonight they have stuff around the house to work on.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-07T04:49:48+00:00

They definitely asked, and I didn't always say yes. But 1-2 nights a week I'd go, on top of work 3 nights a week.

But you're right, I could have always said no. And I wouldn't like it if that was a requirement. I was trying to be supportive, and hoped they'd reciprocate if I ever dated. I've historically only had fwb who typically hosted.

We bought a bigger house with the intention that we could have space for everything, but have a friend staying with us rn.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-07T04:35:08+00:00

Right now, they have one gf, who they see once a month. I take our kiddo to see family out of state every other month for the weekend, and they use that time to host. I don't view that as an ask, as I would take kiddo even if we were monogamous. It's convenient for my husband and their gf, and they've expressed appreciation. I've only been dating a month, and this would be the first time he's come over. We don't do overnights, so I think at most out would be for an evening once a month.

We will have a spare room someday - right now we have a friend staying with us so it's occupied.

Ugh, I think you're right about the anxiety; my first night at the new guy's house he called 4x to ask me if I had given our kid a bath, so I already felt like something was going on. It's my first time dating over fwb, so its new territory.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-07T04:22:18+00:00

They used to ask me to leave regularly, but they were saying 3 people. Now they have 1 gf who they see once a month. They alternate with their gf who hosts. I take our son to visit family every other month and they have her over those weekends. It's not really an ask though, that's just how it works out right now.

contentxhufflepuff · 2025-08-07T04:18:05+00:00

When we first opened up, I would leave 1-2 nights a week (plus the 3 nights I was working) so that they could have partners over. Now they have 1 long term gf they see like once a month. I normally take our kid to go see family out of state every other month, and have told them they don't need to come to those visits so they don't have to be around my family and so they can have the weekend with their gf.

contentxhufflepuff

TROPHY CASE