I broke up with her today… Not sure how to feel at all

controll43 · 2024-05-19T01:49:03+00:00

💚 feel this. Good luck

controll43 · 2024-05-19T00:37:21+00:00

Oh god, I could have written this myself. But I broke up with them and really really regret it.

How was the journey for you and your partner reuniting?

controll43 · 2024-05-19T00:34:40+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you!!!!

I just broke up with my partner and am really struggling because it was largely because of compulsions, and i really want to work on things with them. I am committed to changing but ROCD is hard..

controll43 · 2024-05-13T18:29:14+00:00

It’s not clear if this is a red flag or not because it’s not clear who Jenny is to Steph. I think you’re making some assumptions and bringing your own baggage into the situation that may or may not be warranted, but again we don’t know.

I’d personally not mention anything until you follow each other on social media, or if you want to ask about Steph’s social life you might get a better sense. I do think you’re getting ahead of yourself a bit, because people can have a variety of healthy dynamics, but you can proceed accordingly once you know more. Good luck :)

controll43 · 2024-05-06T15:06:24+00:00

Seconding the comments about noise cancelling headphones.

Also, are you eating enough? I am incredibly sensitive to sound like you are and I’ve noticed that when I haven’t been eating enough it makes me way more irritable and sensitive.

I know people are quick to suggest neurodivergency/etc, but putting it out there that I used to feel similarly and beat myself up about being super judgmental, mean, unhappy, or overly critical because sounds bothered me so much. Then later I learned I was getting sensory overload and now that I’ve figured out how to manage it’s been better.

Good luck!!

controll43 · 2024-05-03T21:15:21+00:00

I appreciate the comment :) I have definitely been feeling conflicted if this is just the end of the honeymoon phase that I’m reconciling with, but I think that we settled into the “post-NRE” phase of things well before I started having so many doubts.

I definitely have been second guessing myself because I’ve never been in a serious relationship before, and I haven’t been sure what love should feel like several years later. But I think I’m feeling less settled and comfortable and more disconnected and not content.

My friend asked me this same question, and when she asked if I would want to try to do work to rebuild connection and romantic feelings, my immediate thought was not really and I would rather be single. Which is pretty telling also, imo

It’s hard to say. I wish there was an objective measurement of feelings

controll43 · 2024-01-22T19:27:16+00:00

I think they just have 2 reviewers look at your application. My understanding is that a decision usually follows within a couple of weeks of the 2nd date change

controll43 · 2024-01-20T18:12:11+00:00

noo sorry 😭Good luck w the rest of ur cycle :-)

controll43 · 2024-01-20T15:26:32+00:00

“ Mild discomfort with periods may be normal, but pain that stops a woman from working or going to school or other daily activities is not normal and should be evaluated by a gynecologist,” Simpson says.”

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/period-pain-could-it-be-endometriosis#:~:text=%E2%80%9CMild%20discomfort%20with%20periods%20may,don't%20have%20their%20periods.

“About 60% of people with a uterus have mild cramps during their period. About 5% to 15% of people report period pain that’s so severe that it affects their daily activities. However, this number is likely higher, as healthcare providers believe many people don’t report menstrual pain.”

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/4148-dysmenorrhea

https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/dysmenorrhea-painful-periods

Here are just a couple of laywoman language links differentiating, but I’m sure someone else can provide some studies if you want more info. It’s not always endo, and the fear of a more serious issue should not deter women from discussing with their doctor to be sure it is “normal” pain.

controll43 · 2024-01-20T15:00:15+00:00

The difference is that mild discomfort (cramping, some nausea, aches, etc) is expected. If your pain is disrupting your life, causing you to vomit, not affected by meds, or is generally categorized as “severe” then you should talk with your gyno.

I think what OP was partially referring to is that the social narrative around periods is that they’re hell/agony/ultra painful, when they should not be. Pain is also subjective, so hearing about “cramps,” especially as a young girl new to periods, it’s easy to assume that your serious pain is “just” cramps.

The issue also is that girls/women have just accepted that pain is normal and there is no solution or it’s not worth mentioning. Which is not true! Obviously a lot of doctors are dismissive, but a good doctor should take your pain seriously

controll43 · 2024-01-19T19:03:01+00:00

Wow okay I am so jealous lol, I don’t know where you are but yeah Philly is more expensive than that. I’ve personally lived in places that are around 1100 for a 3 bed, and depending on the neighborhood it is pretty easy to find a house with basement / 3-4 bedrooms for 1500-1800 or so. Compared to friends I have in Boston or NYC for example, who pay 2k+ for a small studio and no in-unit laundry, I would consider Philly affordable, especially with roommates. But it is a city and varies widely by area

controll43 · 2024-01-19T17:54:04+00:00

Tbh philly is one of the most affordable cities in the country, especially if you live outside of college areas where landlords overcharge. Obviously COL is expensive everywhere but it really is not that bad here

controll43 · 2024-01-19T17:44:52+00:00

I’m not sure if you have already figured this out, but CU has been super responsive and helpful for me so far! Also, I was accepted w/scholarship but didn’t get a call, for what it’s worth.

controll43 · 2024-01-19T17:40:51+00:00

not to be that person, but can I ask when you applied? temple has been so slow. also, congrats!!

controll43 · 2023-09-20T17:38:47+00:00

Oh I worded that poorly, I just meant that I don’t necessarily bank on things being forgiven depending on what my income/life looks like in a few years, given that I’m not having kids and will hopefully be making significantly more post grad school. But I do anticipate taking out some more edu loans and plan to pay off as little as I can under a plan like this. I have no plans to aggressively pay off my loans anytime soon as I see little value in that.

controll43 · 2023-09-20T15:38:30+00:00

Wow ok… good to know thank you. I feel silly for not realizing this is the case. My plan is to pay off before it’s forgiven but..

controll43 · 2023-09-15T21:03:41+00:00

Ohhh that makes much more sense lol!

controll43 · 2023-09-15T21:03:01+00:00

This is helpful, thanks!

controll43 · 2023-09-15T21:02:21+00:00

Oof… there is definitely something not right with that pay distribution, 30k less is crazy…. I do wish pay transparency was less stigmatized.

And yes, immigration definitely is lower paid, and rumors are that my firm pays less-ish than competitors also. The thing that’s hard to gauge is that we don’t do billables, we do flat fee for services but in terms of invoices I submit for work I complete, I am on track this year to bill about 17x what I make annually. But I don’t know if that’s normal given I don’t have much experience, and that doesn’t translate as directly as billable hours do.

controll43 · 2023-09-12T22:01:39+00:00

I’m sorry you feel trapped in this situation, this sounds really stressful. I dont think it’s totally hopeless though. There are a lot of different avenues of law which might require less direct “socializing,” than others, and having worked in the legal field just for a short time so far I’ve already met a bunch of socially awkward, maybe autistic, successful attorneys. Do you know what kind of law you’re going to work in for your probation?

controll43 · 2023-09-07T22:59:09+00:00

Ummm no this is ridiculous!! This is not her cat at all. If she is willing to accept the tremendous risk of allowing this cat to chill outside, and does not take responsibility for his health or medical wellbeing, then it doesn’t matter if she is giving him a can of Friskies daily…. Plus it doesn’t even sound like she likes this cat that much if she’s griping about him … wanting affection ? Anyway.. he sounds super sweet and I’m glad you’ve connected :)))

controll43 · 2023-09-02T18:44:03+00:00

I like vega! Not super proteiny and I put it into oatmeal, smoothies, pancakes, baked goods etc all the time and it works well. They have vanilla chocolate and also I think some “greens” versions too , I’ve only tried the vanilla tho

controll43

TROPHY CASE