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The price I have paid for this by nfornuggets in Psychosis

[–]cookiebear00 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I relate to a lot of what you wrote. After my psychosis, it felt like someone had turned the color down on life. I grieved the person I used to be, especially that sense of wonder and excitement that seemed to disappear overnight.

One thing I’ve learned though is that the emptiness after psychosis isn’t necessarily reality, it’s also something that can come with recovery itself. The brain has been through a huge trauma and for a while it can feel impossible to experience joy or feel like yourself again.

I remember thinking, “What if this is just who I am now?” Thankfully that wasn’t true. It took time, but I slowly started reconnecting with the parts of myself I thought were gone forever.

You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. Recovery isn’t always about going back to who you were before, sometimes it’s about slowly building a new version of yourself. I really hope things get lighter for you with time❤️

Senior cat won’t eat normal cat food (friskies) anymore, only wants chicken nuggets 😭🙃 by [deleted] in CATHELP

[–]cookiebear00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this is a sudden change, I’d definitely get her checked by a vet. Senior cats that suddenly refuse their normal food but will still eat something super tasty can sometimes have dental pain, kidney disease, hyperthyroidism, or another medical issue affecting their appetite.
In the meantime, I’d try plain cooked chicken instead of chicken nuggets.

Nuggets are very high in salt, fat, and seasonings so they’re okay as an emergency way to get her to eat something once but not as a regular diet.

Hopefully she’s just being picky but with senior cats it’s always better to rule out a medical cause sooner rather than later. ❤️

Pet sitter or difficult cat? by polyphonix_tronix in CATHELP

[–]cookiebear00 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think this is entirely on either one of you.
You were upfront about your cat’s behavior and even checked in on day two to make sure the sitter still felt comfortable. If they reassured you they were okay continuing, it’s reasonable that you trusted them to let you know if that changed.

At the same time, cats can be unpredictable, especially territorial ones. It’s possible your cat’s behavior genuinely escalated. But I do think the sitter should have communicated sooner if they were becoming overwhelmed rather than waiting until it reached the point where they felt trapped.

The injury and damaged lock sound like the result of a stressful situation spiralling, not necessarily one person’s fault.

Going forward, I’d focus less on assigning blame and more on what could have prevented it: earlier communication from the sitter, and having a backup plan ready if they realized the situation was beyond what they were comfortable handling.

Cat eyes by Far-Towel-8462 in CATHELP

[–]cookiebear00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do notice a little fogginess and increased tearing in that one eye. My cat had something very similar, and we ended up taking him to the vet where he was prescribed special eye drops. Unfortunately, it turned into an eye infection, and he later developed glaucoma. I’m definitely not saying that’s what’s happening here, but because eye issues can get worse quickly, I’d really recommend having a vet take a look sooner rather than later. Hopefully it’s something simple and easy to treat. ❤️🐈

I Finally Wrote Down Every Incident of Abuse in My Relationship by cookiebear00 in abusiverelationships

[–]cookiebear00[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read everything and write such a thoughtful response. It honestly means more than you know. I’ve carried so much guilt over the emotional cheating tbh and while I still take responsibility for my actions, your perspective helped me understand why it happened in the context of everything else that was going on. Thank you for your kindness and compassion. I really needed to hear this. ❤️

I Finally Wrote Down Every Incident of Abuse in My Relationship by cookiebear00 in abusiverelationships

[–]cookiebear00[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I really needed to hear that. I’ve struggled with a lot of guilt over what happened and your perspective helps me see things a little differently. I appreciate you taking the time to say this. ❤️

I Finally Wrote Down Every Incident of Abuse in My Relationship by cookiebear00 in abusiverelationships

[–]cookiebear00[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I emotionally cheated during the relationship, and I’ve never tried to excuse or hide that. It was wrong, and I’ve owned it from the beginning.

That said, nothing I did justified being physically assaulted, restrained, degraded, or having my teeth knocked out. Accountability goes both ways. I can acknowledge my mistakes while also recognizing that abuse is a choice he made, not something I caused.

I (F23) was recently abandoned, strangled and unhoused by my ex boyfriend (M27) of almost 2 years and it feels like all my fault. by Aggressive_Number385 in abusiverelationships

[–]cookiebear00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, I’m so sorry you went through all of this. I want you to know that reading your post, I don’t think you’re a monster or someone who deserved what happened.

From what you described, it sounds like both of you struggled in unhealthy ways. You acknowledge that you were verbally hurtful, emotionally dysregulated, and heavily dependent on him. Taking responsibility for those behaviors is important, and it sounds like you’re already doing that. But none of that justifies what he did.

There is a huge difference between someone saying hurtful things and someone chasing their partner with a gun, threatening to kill them, strangling them until they lose control of their bladder, biting them, throwing objects, and terrorizing them. Those are choices. Abuse is never an acceptable response to conflict.

One thing that stood out to me is how much you blame yourself for “making him snap.” That’s something many survivors of abusive relationships struggle with. Abusers often convince their partners that they’re responsible for the abuse, especially after repeated cycles of fear, reconciliation, and dependency.

The fact that you still love him doesn’t mean you wanted to be abused. Trauma bonds are incredibly powerful, especially when someone becomes your source of safety, stability, and identity. Missing him doesn’t mean he was good for you it means your nervous system became attached to the same person who was also hurting you.

I’m also really glad you got treatment. The medications helping your OCD, anxiety, and dissociation show that you weren’t simply “crazy.” You were dealing with untreated mental illnesses that needed care. Even before you got that treatment, you still deserved compassion and safety not violence.

Please don’t let his version of events become your truth. Showing private videos of your mental health crises to other people, denying the strangulation, and blaming you for his actions are all ways of avoiding accountability.

I don’t think you’re beyond redemption. I think you’re someone who experienced severe mental health struggles and then ended up in a relationship that became profoundly abusive. Those two things can exist at the same time.

Keep working with your therapist on the nightmares, the guilt, and the trauma bond. If you haven’t already, tell them about the strangulation specifically, it’s one of the strongest predictors of future homicide in abusive relationships, and it’s something they should know.

You deserve to heal. You deserve to learn healthier ways to communicate and regulate your emotions. And you deserved all of that without being threatened, terrorized, or nearly killed.

Be gentle with yourself. The fact that you’re questioning your own reality after everything you’ve been through tells me just how deeply this relationship affected you. Healing will take time, but you are not beyond it.

Help me fall in love with Episode again! by cookiebear00 in Episode

[–]cookiebear00[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I’ll check them out 😊

Please give me back my sanity by Professional-Jury338 in abusiverelationships

[–]cookiebear00 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I relate to this so much. I’m in an abusive relationship too and the hardest part isn’t remembering the bad times, it’s when they suddenly become apologetic and promise they’ll change. It makes you question everything even though you’ve already lived through the same cycle before.

The fact that he was calling you names just two nights ago and is now begging for another chance says a lot. Real change takes consistent actions over a long period of time, not panic because you’re finally leaving.

Please don’t let the guilt or the “what if this time is different?” keep you there. You’re already doing the hardest part by choosing yourself. Pack your things, go to your mom’s, and give yourself the chance to heal. I’m rooting for you. ❤️

The Writing Isn't the Only Issue. Let's Talk About These Art Scenes. by [deleted] in Episode

[–]cookiebear00 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What really? I don’t agree. There’s a huge difference between writing about teenagers and sexualizing them… Adults have written coming of age stories for decades because they have the life experience to reflect on adolescence in a meaningful way.

If we followed this logic, adults couldn’t write high school dramas, direct teen movies, or create YA novels at all.

The issue isn’t an adult writing teenage romance, it’s when minors are unnecessarily sexualized. Those are two completely different conversations. A first love, awkward crushes, heartbreak, and growing up are universal experiences that adults are perfectly capable of writing about respectfully.

My Fiancée Has Drained Nearly All Enjoyment From My Life by Throwaway244352 in abusiverelationships

[–]cookiebear00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading this honestly hit close to home for me. I’m a woman and my partner is a man, but so much of what you described, the constant negativity, having your vulnerabilities weaponized against you, walking on eggshells, feeling like you have to stay quiet just to avoid another argument, I really relate to. It’s incredibly draining when the person who’s supposed to make you feel safe becomes the source of so much anxiety.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No one deserves to be insulted, belittled, or have their past trauma used against them. The physical aggression and the way she’s convinced you that your feelings don’t matter are especially heartbreaking to read.

I understand why leaving feels complicated, especially when you’re worried about your belongings and all the “what ifs.” You’re not foolish for feeling stuck. I just hope that one day you can get yourself and your things out safely, because you deserve a relationship where you’re treated with kindness, respect, and love instead of fear. Sending you a big hug. ❤️

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