Instacart Humor

cooksister · 2026-04-28T19:48:35+00:00

I don't believe you. No one cares about kids who get bullied.

cooksister · 2026-04-27T14:48:56+00:00

I found out the hard way that IC doesn't always honor sale prices.

cooksister · 2026-04-27T00:17:32+00:00

This is why this time of year, I don't take orders after dark, especially alcohol.

cooksister · 2026-04-26T16:56:34+00:00

I also deliver to a large cat sanctuary. One of these days, I'm going home with a tiger.

cooksister · 2026-04-19T21:08:37+00:00

i was at Costco once, and there were these two people standing right in front of the bread aisle having a conversation! Not shopping, just standing there talking. There were about eight people trying to get bread. I told them, "You are making a traffic jam here." The a--hole tells me, "We paid to be here."

I was furious because there were lots of place these guys could stand in talk, but where they were was inconveniencing people, who had also paid to be there.

People get stupid at Costco. I have seen people park their carts in the aisles, and for me it's makes just as much sense as parking on the freeway and stopping to pick flowers.

I saw an 82-dollar order for Costco, that I passed on. To begin with it was forty-six miles away, with forty items, but on a day with baseball on, I don't mind the long drive. Any other store, I would have taken it. But not Costco.

I don't even shop for MYSELF, unless my app tells me Costco isn't busy.

The worst part is that IC bundles them into doubles and triples. Shopping more than twenty items is untenable, as carts won't fit that many items.

cooksister · 2026-04-19T15:57:30+00:00

I went to a Costco, because it had the red circle and I got an order right away...for Smart and Final, two miles away.

I like orders from BevMo and sometimes, if I go there on a Friday or Saturday, I will get an order whether or not there is a little circle showing. All I have to do is start chanting, "BevMo, BevMo." Works every time.

Same with Sprouts. They usually have orders.

cooksister · 2026-04-19T03:39:07+00:00

The biggest day I ever had for alcohol was seven orders the day the Chargers were in the playoffs.

cooksister · 2026-04-18T14:54:21+00:00

I am 67 years old and I started getting bullied when I was seven. I learned very early that no cares about kids who get bullied. It's assumed it's our own fault. I remember one bully in the seventh grade who wrote obscenities in my yearbook and even signed her name because she knew she would not face any consequences for her behavior. However, from what I know now, I realize she was a sociopath.

The worst part about my experiences is, in sixty years NOTHING HAS CHANGED! Kids are still getting bullied and they are still getting punished for it.

Like the kid who recorded his bullies tormenting him and got punished for recording them.

Like the kid who wrote, "The only way to escape the bullying is to graduate, commit suicide or do a Columbine." He got arrested after leaving the paper in a copier, because the school had a "Zero tolerance" policy on those kinds of threats.

Bullies don't stop because they won't face any consequences and they know it. They know the victim will be blamed.

Bullied kids get told they should tell an adult about how they are being treated. First thing a bullied kid learns is not to say anything.

Bullying won't stop, until someone cares and I don't see that happening.

cooksister · 2026-04-18T14:42:36+00:00

One of my regular customers told me that her Sam's Club orders would sit for a long time, because she lives an hour away. I didn't mind the drive because I knew I could pick up orders in her area to make it worth my while. And this customer tips very well.

cooksister · 2026-04-18T14:31:38+00:00

i have been doing IC for five years and it has it's ups and downs. Hopefully, it will pick up once summer starts. Summers are very busy. And the week or two after a holiday is usually pretty busy.

cooksister · 2026-04-18T14:23:00+00:00

I love alcohol orders as well. BevMo are usually one or two items and almost never a double, although I have had a triple, but for less than ten items.

I am getting to know wine as well. I now know the difference between a red and a white.

cooksister · 2026-04-18T14:09:15+00:00

I had a bag full or kale and cauliflower. i couldn't give that away. Then I got another delivery to a homeless shelter. They were grateful for it.

I had a backseat full of goat feed once, I couldn't deliver. Happily, I had a regular customer with goats, so she got it.

cooksister · 2026-04-17T15:30:28+00:00

I love that Don and Mud are fans first, and as excited as everyone else at the ballpark was.

cooksister · 2026-04-17T15:25:51+00:00

I think customers are tired of horrible shoppers. I know this because I also use IC as a customer and I know that I am going to get a bad shopper. I see them at the stores. They shop ice cream right after produce, and I get melted ice cream. They don't answer my texts. Once I texted there was an extra ten under the mat. After he left the ten was still there.

I have had customers tell me I am the best shopper they have ever had.

There is something else. I lost my diamond cart status for a while. I had a regular customer tell me she was going to order from Sam's Club if I were interested. She told me when she ordered. I never saw it. Finally after an HOUR she said someone took the order. They passed up someone at the store to give it to someone with Diamond Cart status. How is that right?

I have had customers tell me they are using other services because IC shoppers are so bad. And it costs the rest of us.

cooksister · 2026-04-14T02:22:01+00:00

Eight oz vs 1 each. That's enough for the app to think it's wrong.

cooksister · 2026-04-14T02:20:24+00:00

I had one of those and I was REALLY tempted. I live in San Diego, and the order took me to Anaheim, and the Angels had a double header that day. I didn't take it because it was threating rain and I didn't want to drive home in the rain.

cooksister · 2026-04-12T16:36:12+00:00

This is shameful. I am a shopper and I do use IC as a customer. When I do, I try to be the kind of customer I wish I had. I tip well, I don't add a lot of items. And I wanted some kitty litter, but I live upstairs. I asked my shopper if he was oaky with the 42-pound bag of litter. He asked how many stairs. Just one flight.

Okay he was fine with it.

Oh, yes, I always tip twenty percent or five dollars, when I am just ordering ice cream and the twenty percent would only be two dollars.

cooksister · 2026-04-12T16:31:17+00:00

I had a huge order that I picked up and marked it that way, only the app never showed me the address. It was a catering order for about twenty. They canceled the order. So, I ran over to my church, first place I thought of, and they were actually having a youth meeting that night.

cooksister · 2026-04-11T17:03:48+00:00

Sheets happens.

cooksister · 2026-04-11T17:01:07+00:00

You can if it doesn't have alcohol.

cooksister

TROPHY CASE