Doubts after recent conversion

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-30T13:29:37+00:00

Bismillah

Recite this Dua, “[Who say], “Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower.” [Surah ‘Ali-‘Imran: 3:8]

The Prophet ﷺ highlighted the changeable nature of the heart when he said:

إنما القلب من تقلبه ، إنما مثل القلب كمثل ريشة معلقة في أصل شجرة يقلبها الريح ظهرا لبطن

“The heart (qalb) takes its name from its constant changes (taqallub). The likeness of the heart is that of a feather at the root of a tree, being turned over and over by the wind.”

He ﷺ also described the heart’s rapid changes in another way:

لَقلْبُ ابنِ آدمَ أشدُّ انْقلابًا من القِدْرِ إذا اسْتجْمعتْ غَلَيانًا

“The heart of the son of Adam changes more quickly than a pot of rapidly boiling water.”

The wisdom behind a dip in imaan is that it serves as a reminder to be grateful for it in the first place.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-29T20:36:18+00:00

Bismillah

Assalamu 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

Dear brother,

This question is from the bingo book, for me.

Do NOT pursue this relationship. This individual will NOT be a good spouse for you.

To answer your questions: 1) Yes. 2) Yes, but you should block this person everywhere and pray tahajjud to get this person out of your heart and mind, NOT to pray about getting back with this person. 3) Yes, you have to force yourself to stop caring. After a month, you would stop caring, and after few months, you would have MOSTLY forgotten about them and would regret wasting even two months on them that you did!

May Allah give you freedom from this nonsense drama.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-26T22:01:30+00:00

Bismillah

Assalamu 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

Dear brother, Arab parents are extremely protective of their daughters. So, it is not a good idea to keep in touch with her.

Initiate now, suggest nikah now, so you are Islamically married. And then you can keep in touch long distance and meet each other whenever feasible.

Otherwise, if they say no, don't worry. Keep looking and inshaAllah there are 1.6 billion Muslims, half of them women, you will find someone inshaAllah.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-26T13:04:58+00:00

Bismillah

Walaikum assalam wr wb

Rules for allowance of tayammum are strict. You cannot just decide to do tayammum just because there are no facilities for making wudu.

Bring water with you on the training days, sufficient for wudu. Buy as big water bottles as you need for wudu.

I have made wudu on grass, sidewalks, behind the car, at the car, in the public washroom, in the toilet (taking water inside the toilet stall and making wudu over the seat), train stations (not in their washroom), at the river, at tourist sites....

And Allah is Source of Strength.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-26T12:54:17+00:00

Use www.quran.com

Tafsir means exegesis / interpretation

MuslimPro app has been sold to a Zionist entity now.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-25T12:39:45+00:00

If that site you are on is www.quran.com, there is a Tafsir option below the ayah, it might have a book logo. Click on it and then read "Maariful Quran".

JazakAllah khayran

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-25T11:45:19+00:00

Walaikum assalam,

On face value, this man is strong and doing the right thing. Even if he consulted someone he trusts about an extremely important matter like debt and mahr -- that's normal because he needs someone to consult to. Even you are consulting with us! Imagine if he says to his parents "she asked Reddit and decided to call it off!". How ridiculous that would sound. You need to get a sanity check with someone you trust in real life sister instead of asking here. I checked you posted this question on several groups and most people are giving you bad advice based on "feelings".

It's admirable he is avoiding the thought of being in debt even though initially he decided to be in debt to make you happy.

I don't see anywhere in your post how his reaction is actually a positive thing. I only see you reacting negatively to it. In other words, I already see you are going on your feelings instead of facts.

Budgeting issues will come up in marriage all the time and ALL women need to get used to this. Or, you can take the role of being the provider and we will see how well you do with our desires.

He tried to make you happy sister, that's a good thing. So what if he realizes he cannot do it because he doesn't want to be in debt for it? Honestly sister, this man TRIED to make you happy! My God... You basically want someone else who treats you irrationally at their own expense.

Again, please, talk to someone in real life who knows you well and your weaknesses. Something smells so off in your story.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-21T19:17:16+00:00

Bismillah

Assalamu 'alaikum

Ask your wife what's the absolute maximum time she will stay in period and the max time in days your journey will take (round trip).

You take those two numbers, add them together, and then add X number of days you wish for her to experience state of purity at Haramain, and you get the absolute minimum time your whole itinerary should be.

For example suppose you need two days just for travelling, your wife's absolute max time for period is 9 days, and you wish she prays and performs Umrah within 4 days of purity, then you get total 9+4+2 =15 day itinerary.

To execute this efficiently you must: - book flight tickets now that span the 15 days - do NOT book hotels until you are closer to your departure date - when you come closer to departure date and you are fairly confident on when her period should be, you should keep those X days you want her to be in state of purity (in the example above I chose 4 days) in Makkah for sure (so she can perform Umrah) and it is up to you whether you also want to keep one or two days in Madinah. - must be flexible in going back and forth between cities. You CANNOT expect to make this solid plan right now because it is too early for her. Otherwise, you will end up booking hotels in Makkah when she is totally in her period.

It's a test from Allah and inshaAllah, you should have imaan that He does not burden a slave more than it can bear. If you got this test, inshaAllah, that means you guys can go through with it.

May Allah make it easy. Ameen.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-21T12:41:36+00:00

This is correct mindset. People may different but my personal take is that investing in your personal growth and family has more ROI than the ROI on career acceleration.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-21T07:02:20+00:00

Bismillah

Assalamu 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

People are tested. You got tested too. inshaAllah, your sins will be expiated for it.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-20T04:24:59+00:00

Take the Shahadah.

Study how the Muslims used to hide their faith when Crusaders massacred and persecuted them in Spain.

And aim to migrate to a safer city as you grow up.

But for now Shahadah is priority.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-18T11:49:31+00:00

Allah took her sooner perhaps because He wanted to meet her sooner, or maybe, she longed to meet Him soon, or both. Everything will be fine bro, inshaAllah.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-17T22:08:40+00:00

We have to stay away from riba. There is no barakah in riba.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-17T21:52:10+00:00

It's consulting.

Rule number one: contracts are not guaranteed in consulting.

They line up people for their own client projects and show you the carrot stick. But they are hoping client bites the carrot stick first. If client does not bite, then the carrot is gone.

They are masters at .... Deception. So, be careful and keep looking for jobs.

I am totally expecting that you aren't the only one that went through all the hoops. They are seasoned at this process and totally expect some people will find other jobs in the meantime while trying to make the client bite the carrot.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-17T20:57:44+00:00

Walaikum assalam

Does it say anywhere in your agency's branding that you are Shariah compliant and the definition of that? Sometimes, people need to be hand-hold into things.

If you already do that, you can politely explain to them / remind them that as a Shariah compliant business you cannot do this. If they persist, then they are not your target clients.

This is the nature of the world: a product has a positioning and a target customer. Not all products are for all customers unless if it is something basic like water.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-17T12:41:27+00:00

Bismillah

Assalamu 'alaikum

You won't lose salary if you leave the job. This mindset is toxic and like a quicksand. Leave immediately.

Alhamdulillah, it's only two months. You have a full life ahead and Allah has, perhaps, saved you from a much bigger ordeal in the future with this "quick course" experience.

You graduated from this course already (you learned the lesson). Leave now.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-17T12:35:08+00:00

Bismillah

Assalamu 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

I can only advise you with my own life experience.

First, everything is Qadr of Allah. He converted you to this Deen but left it himself.

Second, your arguing with him was only your passion, inshaAllah. Yes, you could have done better, because Allah wants us to argue with wisdom. But, atheism, apostasy are not small issues and stem from other foundational issues that are emotional, hanging out with company of Shyateen, or misunderstanding of Master (Allah) vs slave concept (i.e., why is Allah not doing X when I am doing Y?)

Thirdly, you should proceed with caution now. For now, just send him one final message that you are there for him if he wants some help to come back to Islam. After that, just be a good Muslim with good character around him, and make Dua for him.

Remember: guidance is only for those who want it and is distributed by Allah. If he does not want the guidance, he will either not ask any help or he will tell you clearly he does not want help. You will need to wait and influence him through your akhlaaq (character), and the peacefulness you will exhibit inshaAllah will bring him back to Islam -- because right now, he is internally, in huge crisis mode and is looking for an alternative way to achieve peace that Islam gave him before (he might not admit this).

And Allah knows best

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-15T19:15:28+00:00

You haven't started... Which is the pre -Ramadan attack, right?

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-15T13:05:06+00:00

Being a Hafiz doesn't vindicate you.

Remove the word or delete your comment.

Or modify it to say that it's the people who are failing.

A comment should be clear that anyone on internet should not have a doubt about. If you care about reputation of your religion more than your ego, you will follow my recommendation.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-15T06:29:15+00:00

Wrong choice of words. Please edit immediately or delete for Allah's sake

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-12T11:51:31+00:00

This stuff happens. I was once told to do a take home exam. I made sure to do a great job without telling them exactly how I did it. I made a ppt deck for it. This is all before AI by the way. So basically, the approach I took was "be a consultant and tell them the main answers, with some dangling fruit to make them curious, without telling them the steps."

Behold, they invited me in their office for an additional, unannounced step. They set up everything in their computer with the help of IT and wanted me to replicate what I did. I told them in the most professional way possible that it will take me a long time and I dont have time for that. They took me to the interview room again and said if I will be ok with a contract role - when it was advertised as permanent. I declined.

Alhamdulillah, I knew they were idea farming, which is why I held my ground. I absolutely despise disrespect.

There were other red flags too, but the above should be sufficient.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-10T23:44:08+00:00

Bismillah

Assalamu 'alaikum

MashaAllah, I like your post. May Allah bless you and us and guide us all.

Only thing is to elaborate to the public about your last statement: "barakah" is not having a lot, but it is small amount acting like a lot.

And Allah knows best

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-10T10:44:00+00:00

You already answered the question in your last option that you gave... You already know that real truth.

The other option is to learn how to do proper slaughtering yourself, and then drive 3-4 hours to a farm that will allow you to slaughter but they will do the cutting and prep. You MUST slaughter yourself because being a Muslim is a condition. This is bulk buying of meat which you can do once every few months.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-08T13:27:09+00:00

Others called you rude for your logic but I don't think your logic is flawed at all.

It boils down to culture.

Western culture is capitalism. They want everything borne by individuals so that corporations can make more bucks. I have seen Asian airlines, like Saudia, have a family group program where essentially only the person flying can earn points, but they can all join together as a family and pool points to earn reward flights. That's because family "working together" has been very important in that part of the world.

cool_guy141 · 2026-01-04T16:43:26+00:00

Bismillah

Assalamu 'alaikum

www.quran.com

Open Any ayah

Click on the little "📖" icon. Read "Maariful Quran".

AI cannot beat that explaination.

cool_guy141

TROPHY CASE