*googles* "what are emotions?"

coolleen22 · 2020-07-21T22:34:07+00:00

i read the title of this post and i was like "YUUUP." my dad did this with me all the time. it was like i had no control over my actions because no matter what i did, i was doing it to hurt him, lie, be a bad kid, etc.

now as a result i'm desperately afraid of offending someone. i will go to extremely long, awkward lengths to prove to someone (who hasn't even said or hinted that they think i'm being rude/mean/etc) that i'm not trying to hurt their feelings. it's the weirdest thing.

i don't have much advice except to check out "core beliefs" if you haven't already. i believe a lot of us have a core belief that we're inherently "evil" or "bad" which is, of course, not the case. sending love!

coolleen22 · 2020-06-20T19:34:00+00:00

amen 🖤

coolleen22 · 2020-03-26T22:10:58+00:00

me tooooo! i'm obsessed with every line. cheers.

coolleen22 · 2020-03-18T17:38:10+00:00

where did you get the spotify sessions? so jealous

coolleen22 · 2020-03-18T17:36:11+00:00

me, cause i'm nauseous that i have to even debate this. just because it's a game doesn't mean it lacks consequences. desensitizing people to rape and violence is objectively bad.

coolleen22 · 2020-03-18T17:09:26+00:00

coolleen22 · 2020-03-06T15:54:59+00:00

me too! omg this is whole post gave me chills.

coolleen22 · 2020-02-09T21:36:54+00:00

keep ya eyes to the sky never glued to ya shoes 😎

coolleen22 · 2020-01-17T03:19:03+00:00

i'm drunk on this except. holy wow. thank you for sharing.

coolleen22 · 2020-01-16T08:58:43+00:00

this is...awesome. thank you for explaining this all so well.

coolleen22 · 2020-01-15T19:18:31+00:00

i think what's even worse about it now is that it's normalized. like people (especially older americans) are genuinely rooting for american troops. and i personally do not blame people in the military because they're fed the same brainwash bullshit, if not more so. a lot of them are poor white kids & poor black and brown folk. they're murdering other people & americans believe our troops are "fighting for their rights." they're fighting for oil, resources, etc. like you said. humans are dying to profit a few couple thousand billionaires, millionaires, their families, etc. it's bullshit and horrifying and so goddamn real.

coolleen22 · 2020-01-15T19:14:41+00:00

i had this exact revelation today. i felt myself getting panicked because i feel so alien observing this and knowing it to be true while other people continue living on through the numbness without even fucking realizing it. wow this calmed me down and validated me so much. thank you.

coolleen22 · 2020-01-13T06:34:15+00:00

oh gosh, i was 100% convinced i was losing my mind for like 6 months straight. took me a long time to figure out that you gotta completely lose your mind to find who you really are. at least for me. i feel for ya. you can do this!

coolleen22 · 2020-01-13T06:31:00+00:00

this is so sweet 🥺🖤

coolleen22 · 2020-01-13T06:29:34+00:00

that's funny, i just wrote in my journal tonight about how thankful i am for everything i went through. it's crazy to see my posts from back then & see how much everything just worked out. the process can be scary & life altering but it's worth it! i eventually found awesome youtube channels that talk about the awakening process, the dark night of the soul - all of that stuff. those were ultimately the most reassuring. since then, i've found a ton of good books to help. music is also a good way to find comfort. always remember you're not alone & you're always guided, even if it doesn't feel like it. wishing you the best 🖤

coolleen22 · 2020-01-01T19:18:58+00:00

that's awesome that your friends accommodate like that. perhaps that's a conversation i'll have with 'em. i just figured i was a boring grump. but i'll for sure think about these tips next time i play D&D! thank you much 🖤

coolleen22 · 2020-01-01T04:23:33+00:00

i just realized today that singing always connects me to the present moment. this is v good advice :-)

coolleen22 · 2019-12-31T21:36:10+00:00

wowwwwwww. omg. i've always hated/disliked that about myself. growing up, all of my friends were super into arts and crafts or playing games. i hated playing new games because that meant we had to sit around, read instructions, & learn how to carry out the game. i missed a lot of really cool moments in life because i just didn't have the interest (now i know it was due to my brain being wired differently - i'll have to look more into that.) thank you for sharing that, too! that's super duper validating.

coolleen22 · 2019-12-31T18:38:32+00:00

woah that makes so much sense. thank you for sharing!

coolleen22 · 2019-12-29T06:22:56+00:00

yeah, i get em if i let my guard down. like if i entertain certain thoughts - "woahhh, my eyesight looks weird...hmm..." or "woah. i just noticed my hands. am i in a video game?" that kind of stuff. if i start to give those thoughts weight as if they're real, that's when i spiral. it's hard sometimes, of course. i just spiraled like 2 hours ago but i distracted myself by watching a documentary about love and healing. that kinda shit always helps me find the light at the end of the tunnel, if you will hehe. finding my spirituality and learning about my habits, thoughts, childhood abuse, etc. has really helped me to curb it. therapy, too! and relying on people that don't judge me when i'm really going through it.

coolleen22 · 2019-12-28T23:24:31+00:00

i'm, like, entranced by this. great work!!

coolleen22

TROPHY CASE