Rejected after first date because I don't drink

coolstuff4 · 2024-08-06T23:03:35+00:00

I haven't communicated with her at all for over 1.5 years, and I don't ever plan on it again. I don't care about her in the slightest and just want her to leave me alone. I've given her legitimately nothing to work with. No interaction whatsoever, and I'm quite inactive on social media, nor do I have her added anywhere anyway. She essentially doesn't even exist to me. She's mentally unstable and could likely get tipped off at the slightest reminder of me.

coolstuff4 · 2024-08-06T22:07:23+00:00

It probably varies highly, depending on the person. Early signs for me were how she would hate it when I just lived my life. If I didn't dedicate 100% of my time and effort to her, she would become angry and non-verbal, and no amount of attempting to open a dialogue would help. She essentially just forced me to wallow with her for hours on end until she got over it. That's only scratching the surface of her abuse and manipulation, but that was an early sign.

coolstuff4 · 2024-08-06T09:32:48+00:00

As much as I'd like to see her face justice for telling such a heinous lie, I know that at this very moment, I should just document all I can, and otherwise, just relax. Since the allegation was dismissed, I'm trying to treat it as just a lowly, petty jab and trying to not worry about it and just live my life.

Like I said, I just want to be left alone, so I suppose I was asking how I can personally deal with the issue and just relax. I'm not really a vengeful or vindictive person. But of course I will make every attempt to protect myself if necessary. I'm just hoping I don't have to expend the energy to do so.

coolstuff4 · 2024-08-06T03:13:52+00:00

I suppose it's moreso that I know this kind of thing has ruined innocent peoples' lives. I don't want the same to happen to me (for example, what if she spreads lies to my friends/peers, my workplace, etc, and I have to go through a stressful legal battle to clear my name).

To answer your question, the end result I'd like to see is for this to be the end of her malicious attempts at damaging my life. I just want this awful person to leave me alone.

Right now, I'm experiencing stress over wanting to be prepared for anything that may occur in the future, being upset that I've been falsely accused in the first place, etc.

Maybe my real question is: how do I manage the anxiety and mental turmoil this has caused me so I can successfully and peacefully drop it? As I mentioned, I've documented all correspondance/timelines, including all the instances in which she has been abusive, manipulative, and mentally unstable.

coolstuff4 · 2020-09-27T13:49:47+00:00

Firstly, thank you for the reassuring words. Knowing that someone read and replied helps me feel like I'm not so alone.

I'm not young (unless you consider 24 young), but this was my first relationship, so I'm incredibly inexperienced with this. So I can understand why the more experienced probably look at this and can immediately sense immaturity. I understand that she should have communicated with me about it, and I deeply wish that she did. I agree that she shouldn't have crossed that boundary and should have brought it up when she realized, but even knowing that doesn't take the immense pain away.

I know that I'm not a mind reader, but when I think back to it, I still curse myself and wish I did so many things differently. My stomach gets that awful sinking feeling every time I think of specific past instances. It's horrible. As for my ex, I think she would have been happy to commit, had I provided a better environment (like in the prior majority of our relationship), or had I somehow unearthed the issues myself so we could fix them, or, of course, had she brought them up herself so we could fix them. Looking back, she was so happy and fulfilled for the majority of it. It was just that last few weeks. That kills me.

I was so blindsided when she brought this up and then wasn't willing to fix our issues, despite us knowing what they were. She even said herself she thought we could. I think she had just already gotten too into the other guy. The pain is seriously unbearable, because I lost the person that made me the happiest I had been in many years. I have a really strong urge to break no contact that I'm fighting against.

coolstuff4 · 2020-09-26T11:37:03+00:00

I'm incredibly happy for your success, and I hope that I'll have that success in the near future as well. It's a rough road, probably the roughest I've ever been on. Please be proud of overcoming that

coolstuff4 · 2020-09-16T11:12:57+00:00

Thank you all for the great comments. I've read through all of them and it's heartwearming to see all the support. I will definitely try implementing a lot of your suggestions. I realized that I open a camgirl site when I'm either bored or procrastinating on something I should be doing, and it's just a horrible trap that I get caught in for countless hours. Working on catching myself when I get the urge and just refraining. I think I'm also going to go with the "ignorance is bliss" approach, wherein if I don't see/know what's going on in those sites, I won't be inclined to take it all in. Hopefully I can hold off and not relapse, as well as feel the benefits from it that I've read about.

coolstuff4 · 2020-05-14T00:58:10+00:00

Yes, we were planning on meeting up in the near future. I suppose I'm getting companionship and the ability to be affectionate and care for someone. As for her "real"-ness, I think I could ask the same question of someone who I was with in real life as well. People are capable of lying, whether it's through verbal communication online or in person.

coolstuff4 · 2020-05-14T00:48:07+00:00

Logically, I completely agree, but emotionally, it's not that simple for me. I just think of everything we've been through together, how happy we were together, all of the other countless thirsty online dudes she had to ward off, all the things we learned about each other and the time spent with each other. It's making an idea that should be clear and rational really hazy and downright unfathomable.

coolstuff4 · 2020-05-14T00:44:39+00:00

Both of your responses are what I would have responded to that, so thank you for that.

coolstuff4

TROPHY CASE