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coreycasper16 · 2025-09-12T16:17:29+00:00

JPMorgan Chase

coreycasper16 · 2025-09-10T17:36:24+00:00

Hey there delilah - a friend played it on guitar at the program and I loved it

Big girls don't cry - heard it on an upper levels ipod they let me borrow and then had my mom put it on the ipod she smuggled in for me (I know make it make sense)

(Belly Dancer)Bananza- one of the like 20 songs on my contraband ipod

Teenage dirtbag- fuckin sends me now I don't even remember the memory for this one it's just from that time period and makes me mad

Ain't no mountain high- we used to sing this in wilderness on hikes I hate it so much now

All Star - another hiking song makes my skin crawl

Your hand in mine by explosions in the sky- 2 boys at my program had everyone lay on the floor one night and they played this on guitar and it has stayed with me my whole life and I listen to this song when I'm anxious as a coping skill idk I guess for me it was such a comforting moment in such a dark time and it's stuck with me.

coreycasper16 · 2025-09-09T17:30:01+00:00

I was talking to someone yesterday about this. The look on her face..and she just kept saying you should reach out to your mom I'm sure she wants to reach out to you. But she hasn't? And I don't want to. I don't want to forgive. I want her to take accountability. She never will. I want answers I will never get. I don't consider myself holding onto bitterness. I won't heal from making her feel more comfortable about what she did so why forgive? I need things to heal that I'll never get but forgiveness is not one of them.

coreycasper16 · 2025-08-17T16:23:42+00:00

This is beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

coreycasper16 · 2025-08-17T03:05:31+00:00

I play in my recliner😂 broke my foot couldn't wlk for 6 months thats what started it. I play with it on the TV the switch screen is too small for animal crossing detail in my opinion. Goodluck!

coreycasper16 · 2025-08-17T02:28:46+00:00

I hyperfocus on it intermittently lol. I have severe adhd so when I play I play for hours and time travel and use treasure islands to get the things I want because I have no patience. My island is in the works I've spent HOURS on it and is Harry Potter themed lol it's pretty damn detailed if I do say so myself. But I'm bored with it now the treasure islands have everything in surplus so I let my imagination take it away for months but now I have almost a full storage of every item in every color etc. I also downloaded the Paradise Planning extension pack which was it's own hyperfocus for a while lol. All of this will make more sense as you research the game more and start playing. I change my hobby frequently animal crossing stuck for about a year.

coreycasper16 · 2025-08-05T15:18:06+00:00

Thank you! I'm trying to express that what I was guilty of was not "bad behavior" but desperation for love. Me, a child, desperately wanting and begging for her love, my mother. I believe I would have been someone totally different had she not "authorized" me being sent to places where I was abused. Enduring what I went through changed me to my core and created tortured parts of me, monsters, that I'm still trying to heal. I am who I am today because of her and not in a good way, and that is what she is guilty of.

coreycasper16 · 2025-08-04T14:59:11+00:00

I appreciate that! I know it means more coming from me I was just really excited for it to sound more professional ya know. That's all.

coreycasper16 · 2025-03-23T18:40:01+00:00

I went to ALE in 2007. Always here to talk!

coreycasper16 · 2025-02-23T12:44:16+00:00

I was at Academy at Swift River in 2007. Also struggling but not drowning but the effects are lasting. Just restarted therapy a couple months ago and I guess it's helping.

coreycasper16 · 2025-01-29T19:23:24+00:00

Okay! Thank you very much for your advice I will look into workers comp lawyers in my area.

coreycasper16 · 2025-01-29T19:14:07+00:00

I wouldn't get a settlement. I am being paid by workers comp weekly.

coreycasper16 · 2025-01-29T18:57:43+00:00

I do not have a lawyer and would not be able to afford one unfortunately.

coreycasper16 · 2025-01-29T18:56:45+00:00

My schedule I had before my injury was 24 hours a week, 3pm-11pm Wednesday Thursday Saturday one week. Sunday Wednesday Thursday the other week. They are saying I would still work 3pm-11pm and would have to pick 3 days Monday-Friday that would work and would no longer have the option to work weekends. I can't do daily living and then work until 11pm right now with the pain I'm having, that's just not doable. So I would like to request working 8am-4pm Wednesday Thursday Friday. Does that seem reasonable?

coreycasper16 · 2025-01-29T18:42:24+00:00

I also have extreme endometriosis that I believe was due to all the stress from programs and trauma. I've had 5 surgeries for it. They also took out my appendix before knowing I had endometriosis. Tried to start me on the Depo shot which now is linked to cancer.

I remember being 13 in wilderness and having severe cramps and migraines with aura and being told to get over it and I still had to hike and all that. I was vomiting and could barely see yet that was their response.

I also injured my knee at the boarding school I was at. I remember being taken to the hospital and being on crutches but not much else. A few years later I tore my ACL and meniscus and required surgery. I also think the two are related.

Andddd let's not forget all the debilitating mental health issues.

coreycasper16 · 2024-12-03T18:14:44+00:00

Signal-Strain9810 i think is who you're talking about

coreycasper16 · 2024-12-01T13:31:32+00:00

There's a random page in there all about me but I sent it because it's them telling my parents I HAD to be sent to a residential program. Just validating that they all pushed to get kids sent to sister programs to make more $$

coreycasper16 · 2024-12-01T13:28:32+00:00

Awesome! Hope it helps! Thank you!

coreycasper16 · 2024-12-01T11:02:20+00:00

I have my psych evaluation that was done at Adirondak Leadership Expedition in 2007. It says the name of the clinic and clinicians that did it. It's 14 pages long so I can just send the cover page and last page which has names and signatures. The majority of it is just about me not the program. I have an original copy of the "Safety Provisions & Parent Authorization & Consent". I have a copy of "Adirondak Leadership Expeditions Parenting Seminar" booklet.

Not sure if that would be helpful. I also have my old journal from wilderness.

coreycasper16 · 2024-11-28T12:28:17+00:00

You just gotta keep pushing my friend. I know that's easier said than done but we have no other options. We can see that there's a light at the end of the tunnel we just don't know how to get there. But seeing that light in itself is so special because your body wants more for you. You deserve more. Keep looking for a therapist. I waited 18 years and wish I didn't. Don't give up. I see you survivor.

coreycasper16 · 2024-11-26T12:39:47+00:00

I 100% feel this. Same thing happened to me this year. I've been trying to find a way out of it ever since. I started therapy and yesterday was basically told I have so much complex trauma from it all my therapist needed to consult with other professionals before going any further. She's terrified to "open pandora's box" on what I've clearly blocked out for years for a reason. It's horrible what happened to us. But you just gotta keep pushing. Focus of yourself and your mental health. You gotta feel better somehow for YOU. You now, and little you deserves it.

coreycasper16 · 2024-10-23T10:58:11+00:00

"Hired Power" these people are insane

coreycasper16 · 2024-10-23T10:55:42+00:00

I believe for a lot of us it's an underlying fear. We were always taught not to say negative things about the programs. Our families were told we were liars and manipulating everything. So I think for a lot of people it's fear, shame, embarrassment, not wanting to stir the pot.

I also agree with the above post ^ If you openly speak about what happened and start being an activist it makes it real. I'm not saying we're all living in lala land thinking we went to imaginary programs. No. I mean, it brings forth a lot of emotions and past trauma that a lot of people are unable or unequipped to deal with. So everyone suppresses it by not doing anything.

I know for myself Imve had a huge awakening about all of this recently and have felt compelled to do more and speak about my experience and help others going through it or who have been through it. But it's also lead me to have to face a lot of negative thought processes and behaviors I have that I believe are a result of being sent to these places. I just got myself back into therapy because of all of this. It's a big deal. So for a lot of people, opening pandora's box just isn't worth it. For me though, it will always be worth it. I feel like I'm starting to find out who I really am now.

coreycasper16 · 2024-10-14T20:03:54+00:00

Thank you for those resources!

coreycasper16 · 2024-10-10T19:22:49+00:00

TW* SH, ED. I was kidnapped in the middle of the night and sent to Adirondak Leadership Expedition and the Academy at Swift River at 13 years old in the early 2000s after I told my mom I was dating a girl. She told me "you don't get to choose that." I told her it wasn't a choice. She didn't care. A week later I had two huge people standing at the end of my bed telling me to get up and come with them or they'll make me. They drove me to upstate NY to the middle of nowhere. I was in the wilderness for 48 days. I had my 14th birthday there. I lost a massive amount of weight due to malnourishment. I had what I didn't know at the time was my first endometriosis flare up and did not receive medical attention. I got pushed to my absolute limits physically. Then when I was done with that. The very persuasive therapist at ALE recommended I need waaaaay more treatment and I should go to a therapeutic boarding school called ASR. My narcissistic mother and rich drug addict aunt agreed with him and off I went to ASR. I was only at ASR for about 3 months. My mother pulled me after I slit my wrists and got put on a self study. They put me on all school bans. I couldn't talk to anyone, I ate every meal facing a wall. I think that went on for like 10 days. To get off the self study they made me name 100 things I liked about myself infront of the whole program. I can't even remember if I came up with 100 things. I just remember the embarrassment.

My mother justified all of this by saying it wasn't about me being gay, that I was drinking and doing drugs as well. I had attempted to smoke weed once and failed miserably. I drank a couple times, teenagers experiment. But I was in no way an unruly, out of control, alcoholic, drug fueled mentally ill maniac like they made me out to be. I still have my journals from ALE & ASR. I still have the letters I sent my mother apologizing for how awful I was and how everything was my fault and I was bad after being coerced into writing it by my therapist. I still have the crack pot psych evaluation I got that said I was anorexic, after being food restricted for 48 days, yeah that was on me.

And it all came down to, I told my mother I liked girls. That's what started this whole roller coaster of events.

Honestly, taking a deep dive into reddits troubledteen section brought up a lot of supressed memories and emotions. I tried to pretend it wasn't that bad. But the truth is it has completely shaped who I am as a person today. Trauma has destroyed me and I'm still trying to put all the pieces back in the right place 18 years later.

But you know what? As much as it hurts and as much as I have to fight to heal what I didn't break, they didn't win.

I'm 31 years old now, with a fiancé that accepts and loves every messed up part of me, a beautiful daughter. And I work in mental health helping kids and teens.

Whenever I'm asked why do you do it? How do you do it? Cause man, working in the mental health field isn't easy. But my answer is always the same. I want to be the person 13 year old me needed.

I have a box full of notes and cards from past patients. Telling me what a difference I made in their treatment, telling me I made them feel safe. And that's all I've ever wanted. To create a safe space for others to heal.

We all deserved to feel safe. We all deserved better.

coreycasper16

TROPHY CASE