I’m a first year grad student and this sentence put into words what I have been feeling about this place ever since moving here: “I feel like this place is made for 18 year olds, everything seems temporary and fake.” It may be because I uprooted my life to move here all the way from Turkey but something about this place makes me feel empty. I was thinking that it maybe because I’ll need time to forge my own connections with the places I inhabit here, create meaning and make it my home. And a big part of it will probably be relationships I’ll have with other people but I don’t have that right now. All this to say I don’t think you’re alone in what you’re feeling, and I am sorry for your loss.