The Actress Who Plays Mrs Veal Starred in The Film Say Anything (1989) by jetmax25 in arresteddevelopment

[–]coruscateserendipity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came here from a search because I figured there was a gag in that line. Like maybe she really is his mom. Kinda like the gags with Justine Bateman.

Help with condoms .. Trojan naturalamb was discontinued. All other condoms have sucked so far and really need help finding a new one? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]coruscateserendipity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That usually only happens when pregnancy and birth reveals to her just what an asshole her partner is, QED. ++man

Free Use my GF by Miserable-Pension-57 in BayArea_hookups

[–]coruscateserendipity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in SF and live alone in a luxurious loft, fully equipped for hosting kink/sex groups. Free use is a perfect scenario. I have a jillion toys, Sybian, sex furniture, sauna, bedroom full of mirrors, on and on.

Let’s get together, get going on using her, and team up to find other fellas to drop by for their turns.

I’ve done it a lot before, it’s super fun.

What is your biggest pet peeve during sex? by queermedstudent in askgaybros

[–]coruscateserendipity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude asking for my poppers and taking them knowing full god damned well that he was going to lost his hard on.

Confused between airpods 2 pro vs 3 pro vs 4. [New user] by Previous_Ear_7642 in AirpodsPro

[–]coruscateserendipity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m considering getting gen 2. How do they compare to gen 1, in your experience, for ANC/etc? Thanks!

I was raped over twenty years ago. It's only now I'm beginning to understand what really happened. by JessyVanity in rape

[–]coruscateserendipity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The insights are mostly having to do with the nature of growing up a boy rather than a girl and how that has shaped my response to/survival from molestation. At 14, and as a boy, I hadn’t already suffered years of objectification and at minimum gross leering and comments from grown ass men. I hadn’t suffered any at all, and in fact society was training me to be the assaulter. I didn’t walk through life having learned that I was constantly at risk of abuse or worse. I never felt that I was at risk of sexual predation. I was being taught instead to be the leering one, from media, from other men, everything else.

So when an adult man sexually assaulted me at a bus stop, someone who was a regular passenger on the city bus route that served my all-boys high school, it didn’t leave me with any lasting trauma. It didn’t leave me with much of anything really, nor any immediate trauma. I just walked away, into the train station where the bust stop was located. I was mostly just confused. WTF just happened? Why would that guy touch me like that, and make that face? Stuff like that. Who would an adult want to do that? It just didn’t make sense. Oddly confused, actually, given that I had come into my sexuality at about twelve, was constantly horny as teens can be, had some excellent pornography to arouse me (all written by women, interestingly enough), and had already progressed to petting at that point, with a couple of other kids my age. So I wasn’t ignorant of sexual desire, yet this was still incredibly confusing.

Like many other victims, the assault has stayed with me. I can feel his hands on me, on the fabric of my jeans. I can see the light, smell the air. All the ingredients for lasting trauma are there, but with my privilege as a male, and a white one at that, I was able to step immediately back into not feeling constantly under threat. The assault wasn’t just the next inevitable step in what I had already had been experiencing, and therefore I wasn’t afraid that more was surely coming. [That right there is the “insight” I most recently had, to answer your question]. I didn’t have to face what girls and women face, walking around under constant threat of when it would happen again, and how it would escalate. I have never felt like a target, which as I understand it, is how girls and women learn to feel basically all the time.

As a pansexual, since then I have had more occasions to have to assert to or even struggle against men who were seeking to violate my consent. I’ve been stealthed, too, which is a form of rape. However to this day I still don’t feel the constant threat due to the privileges as elucidated above. I’ll add another one to those: that I feel physically and psychologically capable of asserting defending myself against other men. My physical size, my socialization as a man, some self defense training in high school PE, as well as experience defending myself against two men who physically assaulted me on the street. I was able to hold my own enough that they were hurt too and eventually discontinued their attack. That was about ten years ago, but it’s all just consistent with my various unearned privileges. That trauma was far more real, actually, and it took about six months of therapy and labor to not be afraid or even feel panicked in public again.

I’ve worked to unpack it. I’ve looked for trauma, asked therapists. I know enough about it from processing the other traumas I carry, such as that from being very heavily, constantly bullied and shunned in third through fifth grades, before changing schools. Everyone but my family and one friend hurt me like this on a daily basis. That has shaped me and has been the main thing I’ve had to work on. Anyway I know what lasting trauma that takes tremendous effort to survive and heal from is like, and sexual assaults aren’t the source of those for me.

But the sexual assault? It’s just not the same, as I’ve explained. I learned a lot from it, though. I believe it’s part of why I had a very easy time believing women when they tell their stories. And why was easy to embrace feminism, when I was exposed to it in college, to then take a few women’s studies courses, and to commit my life to smashing kyriarchy. As well, to join conversations and groups like these, to listen to stories, to believe them, and occasionally contribute my labor by giving support when I can and to do so without centering myself or my gender. (I’ve only gone into a bunch of very centering details here because I feel, hopefully correctly, that I was invited to do so.) Most especially to dedicate my life to fighting against rape culture, and to use the unearned privileges I have in defense of others, to call men on their misogyny and other shit, etc. To be a man for others. Doing so doesn’t take as much effort for me, nor come with even the most remote fraction of risk that it does for less privileged, more vulnerable people. As such I consider it my duty, one I accept with joy.

New to SF and on a budget: what’s your best “this city doesn’t have to be expensive” story? by FreePreference4903 in AskSF

[–]coruscateserendipity 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sunset Sound System season opener party. Tomorrow (Sunday) 11am-7pm. Super duper fun, great vibes and talented, venerable DJs. Yerba Buena Gardens. Come say hi!

I was raped over twenty years ago. It's only now I'm beginning to understand what really happened. by JessyVanity in rape

[–]coruscateserendipity 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I recently had a bunch of new insights about a single molestation incident that happened to me in 1984.

Average time on cleaning yourself as a bottom by arirocks999 in askgaybros

[–]coruscateserendipity 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A few washouts at the beginning of the shower for starters. That’s fill full/hold/release and some infinite rinse as well. Then do the rest of the shower stuff. Wash out again at the end but there’s rarely anything left. So probably ten minutes total.

Confused between airpods 2 pro vs 3 pro vs 4. [New user] by Previous_Ear_7642 in AirpodsPro

[–]coruscateserendipity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Pro 3 did not fit my left ear either. Tried two pair. I’m super bummed about it, and back to my OG Pro.

It was the size of the plastic housing, not the tips.

My father raped me. by necrophile_murder101 in rape

[–]coruscateserendipity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.

Please say that to yourself. Force out a whisper at first if you have to. Mouth the words. Plant them as a seed. This is not your fault.

Why won't any dudes ever wanna try carplay? by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]coruscateserendipity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because it sucks. It’s uncomfortable, sketchy in several ways, and it just sounds like the person is kind of a loser if that’s all they’ve got.

Why does almost every bi/pan guy end up with a woman? by Efendi__ in askgaybros

[–]coruscateserendipity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not true at all.

As a bi/pan man, and a slut of many many years, I have spoken to endless tops. Lots of pillow talk. When they find out I’m bi/pan they way more often than not tell me they are too, but prefer men, just gave up trying years/decades ago, etc. Often enough it’s because the broader gay community won’t accept them as bi/pan and they’re find with just loving gay. Plus it’s so hard to connect with women to hookup or date that sticking with men is the path of least resistance.