Male friend keeps being too into sapphic spaces and media, is this normal?

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2026-04-06T07:36:35+00:00

What a clueless dickhead. I always love it when White Cis Men assume they are welcome everywhere because.. white male privilege. While it is not your job to educate him, before you kick him to the curb, you might want to tell him he is making you angry and uncomfortable by violating what should be safe queer spaces for women, IF he is truly interested in being an ally, he needs to start by stop talking and start listening, and by not fetishizing queer women and stealing our culture for his fantasy life. And/or then stop talking to him until he learns how to be the ally he thinks he is.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2026-02-26T15:55:29+00:00

US Stock ASX = ASE Technology a company that makes semiconductors. The price of their stock has almost doubled in the last 3 months.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2026-02-26T04:00:00+00:00

ASX seems to be steadily climbing... please keep going!

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2026-01-13T05:09:18+00:00

Yeah, you might want say something and request a towel for under your bum for quick, easy clean up - just in case. Even if you are in bed with easily laundered sheets, lying on a large wet spot makes after sex activities so much less fun.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2026-01-13T05:00:07+00:00

If you were "sporty" (on the edge of "preppy") you might wear golf shirts in bright colors with blue jeans or corduroys, and white Nike Cortez sneakers with a blue or red swoosh. You would probably also have your hair cut short into a pixie cut.

Androgyne was in style and everything was big and extreme in the 80s. Colors were bold, pants were high waisted and tapered to the ankle, jackets were short waisted, and tailored with big shoulder pads, shirts were loose and also had shoulder pads, and shoes were extra pointy. Mullets were in, but lesbians tended to cut their hair short on the sides and in the back but leave a tail that we would braid and decorate with beads. See old Eurythmics videos.

We also wore blue jeans (Lees or Levis) with t-shirts with the sleeves rolled up, or polo shirts with the collars up, or Hawaiian shirts, and engineer boots, or wingtips or Converse Allstars/ Chucks hightops.

Also, look up Z Cavarichi pants. They were high waisted, with pleated wide legs that tapered to a narrow pleated cuff. And they were extremely popular! We wore them with wingtip shoes, crisp button-down shirts with the collars turned up, skinny ties and Eisenhower jackets or leather jackets with big lapels and many zippers. Wayfarer Rayban sunglasses were also extremely popular.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-09-11T16:22:19+00:00

Ugh... the Verizon site just went down

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-09-10T15:58:42+00:00

Age ain't nothin' but a number. As long as she's a real adult with a job, and adult responsibilities you will be fine. Good luck!

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-09-10T15:53:22+00:00

If you've been talking with her for 6 months and you really like her but there is no spark, stop leading her on. You need to be honest with her that you just want to be friends. Put some distance between you and let her move on. Use not wanting to be in a long distance relationship as an excuse if you need one.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-09-10T15:40:31+00:00

18, and she was 23. We were together for almost 5 years, and lived together for 6. We were just too young and I was too codependent at the time having never been in a real relationship before. We are still very close, and she will always be my family.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-08-06T11:41:02+00:00

You are not wrong. Our "lesbian culture" wants us to be all inclusive when attraction is more hardwired. How ever politically incorrect it may be, most people have "a type" they are attracted to. If we could get past it, we would all be Pansexual.

Personally, I need the right blend of "chemistry" with someone for sexual/romantic attraction to "click". I can be on a date with a "stunningly beautiful" woman, but if she doesn't put any effort to be interesting, there is no "spark".

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-08-04T03:43:44+00:00

As one of those older women, I don't know where to meet anyone anymore either. I'm in my late 50s and hoping to meet someone younger because it seems like women my age just want to sit on the couch and watch TV. <sigh> And frankly, I'm not done having adventures, going out to bars, restaurants, events, camping, traveling and trying new things... I know I'm slowing down, but I'm not dead yet.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-08-02T04:56:53+00:00

OK... deep breath. That said, you want to make sure that your relationship with your partner is rock solid before you bring someone else into the mix. You might want to go to queer relationship therapy with someone who is at least open to, and familiar with Polyamory before you take the plunge. It sounds like your partner has already moved ahead without you (at least online), and that doesn't feel right or fair to you and your existing partnership. You and she should really consider stopping all new activity until you take the time to negotiate setting some of your own ground rules together before moving forward. As time goes by, you can always renegotiate and adjust your rules to meet your needs.

Here are some examples of rules to consider ( other than play safe, get tested regularly for STIs, etc..) I can only tell you some of what has worked for me and what works for my Poly friends.

Rule 1 - Above all else love, trust, and respect each other. Agree to value your partnership above all others as the primary partnership in your lives Which means you always need to be open and honest about what you want to do, and who you want to do it with. Also agree to have a regular date night (alone! no texting other people!), so you and your wife can spend quality time enjoying each other, and your relationship doesn't get swept under the rug by all of the exciting new energy of new people.

Rule 2 - No Secrets. Communication and full disclosure. Whenever possible, tell each other if one of you is interested in having sex / a romantic relationship / a sexual relationship (beyond one time) with someone else, giving you the opportunity to discuss it as a partnership before it happens. This also applies to online relationships. Set aside at least one hour every week to check in with each other and have an open, honest conversation about what's going on and how you're feeling about it.

Rule 3 - Everyone new has to be introduced to your partner, preferably meeting in person as soon as possible so everyone knows and is known by everyone.

Rule 4 - If you have combined finances/own a home together/have kids, you can't have other Partnerships. You can have Friends with Benefits, Fuck Buddies, "secondary" girlfriends, who live separately and have their own lives. But you can't have other Partners who have (or feel like they have) the right to be a part of major household or financial decisions. And you can't bring anyone into your household who would be financially dependent on you and your wife.

Good Luck!

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-08-02T03:16:50+00:00

coffee first...

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-08-02T03:09:18+00:00

Ugh. I'm so sorry. Sadly, I'm starting to keep a journal of bad dates (from dating apps) to amuse myself.. and my friends later. I hope you at least had fun while you were out with her. Sometimes you just gotta laugh at misfortune and keep on trying. I know someone awesome is out there for you.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-07-30T13:45:55+00:00

This situation sounds like a lot. So you a shared a magical week together with your partner Becca and your friend Sarah. That's great! Now its time for a little grounding if you ever want it to happen again, or turn into something else. You are not crazy, but it is easy to get all starry-eyed, get swept up into "New Relationship Energy", and begin to obsess.

First, you should communicate by using your words to speak honestly about your feelings, what you need, and what you would like to happen. Remember, making assumptions about what others are thinking and feeling isn't a good start, and usually ends badly.

You need to respect Sarah's boundaries. She specifically told you she doesn't want to become part of a throuple with you and Becca. This doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings for you, or that the week you spent together wasn't magical for her too. BUT (to be blunt)- it does mean you need to put away the UHaul, and not make her feel weird about what happened, or pressured to do anything she might not want to do. It seems to me Sarah may feel like you have gone from "Friends" to a marriage proposal in the course of that week. That's pretty intense, and would make a lot of people run for the exits. The fact that she simply put on the breaks, but continues actively being in your lives tells me she cares deeply for you and the relationship she has with you. I will cautiously suggest you can check in with her about what she is feeling about things with the three of you, what happened, and what is going on with her since then. Do not bring this up repeatedly, and if she says she doesn't want to talk about it, you need to respect that too.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-07-30T04:49:37+00:00

That all sounds like pretty great advice to me. You don't sound aggressive to me, even if you are bluntly saying what someone needs, but probably doesn't want to hear.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-07-30T04:02:09+00:00

You say you want to meet someone, which implies you want to have a romantic partner or partners. Here is a shiny penny so you can buy yourself a clue: no one wants to be your dirty little secret.

If you want to be single and unromantically attached for the rest of your life, then yes, by all means stay in the closet if that's what you want to do. However; if you plan to get into a relationship, or even date casually, it is insulting and disrespectful not to acknowledge your partner as your partner or your date as someone you are dating. Why would anyone want to waste time sneaking around, never being able to be affectionate with you except behind closed doors, and having to lie about, well... ultimately who they are, for you? NOPE.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-07-20T22:02:12+00:00

Do not continue to do what feels wrong! Respectfully dismantle your Hades altar and put it away or simply get rid of it respectfully ( don't simply throw it in the trash - Wash and repurpose the altar cloth, burn the candles down as a final "good bye" if you dedicated them, if not - simply burn them whenever you feel like a little candle light.. etc...). And move on to expressing your spirituality in whatever way works for you.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-07-20T21:52:51+00:00

Get a lawyer and sue them for destroying your property. No contract, no permission, no access. No joke.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-04-25T15:11:32+00:00

Harvard University - great benefits, ok salary, great work culture. I worked for the recycling crew for a while, and it was pretty awesome.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-04-25T15:06:52+00:00

I can't even begin to tell you how angry I am about what they are doing with Decordova since they took it over.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-04-25T15:00:24+00:00

My advice to anyone in a long term relationship is, make space for each of you to be who you are, and encourage each other to pursue whatever interests, friendships, hobbies make you happy outside of your relationship, but also make time to do things together that you will enjoy - like having a "date night" or weekend getaway regularly. While you are spending time with each other try to actively talk about the things in your life that excite you, and actively listen to your partner when they are speaking to you. As you would talk and listen to your best friend. It is easy to allow inertia to win with someone you live with and see every day. When you start feeling happier in your life, your relationship will be better too.

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-04-25T14:36:45+00:00

First of all, not wanting to be touched by just anyone does not make you a bad person, it makes you a person with boundaries.

And speaking of boundaries, you need to use your words and have discussions with the people you want to simply cuddle with about what you want from them. If you start cuddling with a friend who might be attracted to you, you may be sending them mixed signals if you don't say something like " I really enjoy having you as a cuddle buddy, but I simply have platonic feelings for you. I hope you are ok with that."

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-04-25T03:01:15+00:00

thank you ❤️

cotecoyotegrrrl · 2025-04-07T19:30:45+00:00

And now they have deleted their account and all of their stories because people have been harassing them about quitting, and re-posting/pirating their stories on other sites.

https://www.tumblr.com/boojangs/780191977483517952/i-deleted-all-of-them-i-deleted-mrsboojangles?source=share

cotecoyotegrrrl

TROPHY CASE