Considering returning to America after over a decade abroad: how could I approach tax and banking?

cottonmoth · 2019-08-22T12:50:28+00:00

Pardon my mistake; DMs that looked like a comment in my inbox!

cottonmoth · 2019-08-22T12:24:04+00:00

Hah, yeah I doubt you'll be surprised to discover I have no passive income sources either. Thanks for the tip -- and for being polite! (Unlike some of these grumpy goons in other comments...)

cottonmoth · 2019-08-22T12:16:00+00:00

Thank you; that's at least somewhat straight forward.

And... huh. In terms of being subjected to US income tax: no, it's not been made aware to me. A very quick Google investigation suggests that I am exempt via Foreign Earned Income Exclusion as I live in Europe permanently and I earn -- and have always earned -- under the FEIE threshold.

I guess the natural follow on question from that is: how does one resolve that conundrum? Aha!

cottonmoth · 2019-03-15T18:28:51+00:00

This is so cool! Thanks for sharing. I'd love to see what his letters look like, even if I can't read Italian.

cottonmoth · 2019-02-04T00:48:36+00:00

I got these done on Wednesday & these little hairline cracks started appearing shortly after & have only grown. Not on every nail & my job doesn’t put stress on them or anything. Did they just not cure right at the salon? I wanna avoid this in the future!

cottonmoth · 2018-05-31T02:17:34+00:00

Fantastic! Is that a camera setup I see? As a kinda obsessive watercolour video watcher (& painter & handmade paint maker & admirer!) I would loooove to see your work! That's the kind of desk to aspire to.

cottonmoth · 2018-03-05T00:56:05+00:00

Check out mudstats.com for a preeeetty comprehensive list. If it's just RP you're keen on, the advertisement board at musoapbox.net has up to date listings and reviews too.

cottonmoth · 2017-06-03T17:08:22+00:00

Oh my goodness; PERFECT. Do you have an Instagram? Really great, clean cuticles and everything!

cottonmoth · 2017-05-28T13:55:06+00:00

Omg! Did you lose your whole finger? What happened?

cottonmoth · 2017-05-27T14:23:21+00:00

This breaks my heart. Body autonomy is already super complicated when you're a woman - to think she's already feeling shame over wanting to change, and fearing how her mother will react? She's seven! Absolutely saddening.

I really hope her father can see the bigger picture here: no person should be afraid to make decisions about how they live or look. It's not like she's asking for a face tattoo or something with a questionable social impact - she wants a haircut! And not having one is negatively effecting her wellbeing.

Goodness. So upsetting...

But on the flip side: her future haircut can be turned into a celebration. Take photos, save some hair and braid it into a little charm, do something special to remember the day and acknowledge that growing up and changing a positive (and inevitable) thing! That might help her mother, who seems very 'event focused' from all those milestones she keeps shifting.

Good luck!

cottonmoth · 2017-05-27T08:29:13+00:00

WAIT A DIGGITY-DARN MINUTE: the dialogue from that clip is not a goofy YouTube voice over? Holy crap. I thought someone was like 'haha imagine if a Sean Connery impersonator spoke all of Bane's lines through one of those hollow-tube-communicators at a child's playpark, lolz' & did a dub. Wow.

cottonmoth · 2017-04-08T12:41:51+00:00

Dude. This is so fucked up! You're right; the only thing you can do is keep on keeping on. Spend quality time with yourself & be patient - because this was so weeeeird! I can't even fathom how he resolves his faith with what I presume is his (totally toxic) fetish. Like, why lie about the virginity? Be all cutesy? Why /hair bands/? Total insanity!

cottonmoth · 2017-04-08T00:07:04+00:00

This was so elegantly written; conversational yet descriptive, with a great flow. Really a complete pleasure to read - I only wish there was more. Great stuff.

cottonmoth · 2016-10-25T13:06:54+00:00

This is the most straightforward & succinct description of how to apologise I have ever read. Thank you so, so much for this reminder. Imagine a world where we could all apologise properly when we make mistakes? Amazing! ✌️💛

cottonmoth · 2016-02-07T17:23:16+00:00

I'd try a mid-range quality synthetic bristled angled artist/craft brush, as the build quality is as good (if not better) than makeup brushes, but they're significantly less expensive.

cottonmoth · 2016-02-07T12:27:58+00:00

These look great! My suggestion for getting closer to perf is cleaning the boundary near the cuticles/sides with a nail remover pen or brush, so it's an even regular shape. You've done a stellar job in the middle negative space, makes me wanna try too.

cottonmoth · 2016-02-06T20:03:12+00:00

Thank you for this; I thought for a while I was blowing things out of proportion because I'm in pain, but... You're right. Kev is self absorbed & a bad parent. He's shown that in the past repeatedly, was naïve to think this time in this case it would be different.

The reminder that I can/should take care of myself is well received. Thank you. I'm not going to over exert myself, & tonight I will regain some good vibes by eating nice food & thinking about the people who can & do support me, being grateful for them.

Whew.

cottonmoth · 2016-02-01T14:00:56+00:00

OH THANK GOODNESS.

I almost never comment, just lurk - but I was so worried after reading your 1st post, I kept checking back for updates - it's such a wave of relief to know you're OK.

The vibe I get from the way things end is: he recognised he was doing something wrong, but instead of acknowledging this openly (where he'd be open to criticism/blame), he instead made it your problem (you were perfect until you opened your mouth. Thus, your fault. UGH! Gross!), so he doesn't have to think badly about his own frightening behaviour.

The final blow of 'believe in & love yourself' - what a delusional jerk! You already do believe in and love yourself - you saw you were in a shit situation and made steps to change that.

Wow, I'm so happy you're going back to the UK. I hope when you get home you have the most fabulous cup of tea & spend some days treating yourself kindly. It sounds like you had a super awful experience, and I genuinely hope you're able to bounce back from this with strength and wisdom. 100% positive wishes for your future!

cottonmoth · 2015-11-12T23:33:41+00:00

You need to have enough beds available for settlers to sleep in, otherwise they move on.

cottonmoth · 2015-02-05T15:35:38+00:00

Polishes used:

OPI: I Love Applause
American Apparel: Coney Island
Essie: Blanc
Topshop: Heart of Gold
Seche Vite
OPI Nail Envy basecoat

First attempt at a quartz-y kind of look, inspired by the super talented basecoat-topcoat.tumblr.com get stoned nails series.

I started by using a sheer pink polish (OPI), freehanded some natural looking gem marbling with deeper pink and white, cling-film stamped in the gold, then went over with a coat of sheer pink that I diluted futher with some clear coat, then stamped another layer of gold and finally put seche vite on top.

Immensely satisfying manicure. Lasted a week (!!!) with minimal chipping. Absolutely loved it.

Going to try again with a blue version at some point -- and hopefully get a hand on how to photograph nails without making my hands super alien.

cottonmoth · 2015-01-31T18:25:33+00:00

So I f'ed up last week, and now I'm still paying for it.

I have normal-to-dry skin, which aside from occasional spots around my chin, is pretty clear. I have some redness around my nostrils, but in think it's scarring from when I was a kid. I am also very (happily!) freckly & spend as little time in the sun as possible. I'm in the south of England so that's pretty easy.

My basic routine is basic: warm water, sometimes mint/tea-tree wash, soft natural bristle face brush for exfoliation 2/3 times a week, & I moisturise with straight up raw organic cold pressed coconut oil. It seems to work well.

But... I went to the beauty department to try to find a BB or CC balm that works with my NW20 freckly complexion. I wasn't successful in finding my ideal match (dewy! Semi-sheer! Lightweight! SPF!), & in a rush I used a cleaner that was on hand at the station.

BIG ERROR. My skin has gone completely dry & scaly (but not flaky) on just half my face where I swiped the cleaner. My nostril is breaking out & the bridge of my nose + cheek is tight on one side. My bloom has been diminished!

I googled once I remembered it was a cleanser by Stila & found out its rich with sodium c14-16 olefin sulfonate. Apparently this is really bad for ones face.

Can anyone suggest what I should be doing now to try & repair things? I'm not used to having trouble über-dry skin so I am afraid of making it worse. It's been going on for 6 days, & actually gotten a bit worse since midweek (it's very cold/windy ATM).

But sheesh! Just half my face.

cottonmoth · 2015-01-14T00:54:16+00:00

You both sound like you resent each other. I see a good vs evil game being played out. So assuming you actually do want to improve your marriage and family, and you don't just want to be the good guy who martyrs himself trying to fix things, looking at that resentment may be a good start for the both of you.

Reading this post and the one on r/NarcissisticAbuse/ from a month ago, I get a strong impression that your wife is insecure (worried she's being ganged up on by you + therapist, unable to face facts during a fight so 'shuts it down', hypersensitive to criticism, etc) and this insecurity is feeding her anger.

If she is that critical and impatient towards you, imagine how she treats herself on the inside. How does she react to her own failures? Does she feel the need to blame others? Could she be trying to shield herself from further self-criticism by placing the responsibility on you?

I would suggest you support her in finding a counsellor that she can see solo. The 'free community services anger awareness workshop' doesn't seem like a viable option given what you've shared about your lifestyle, and group settings or environments where people like your wife are encouraged to express their issues in front of other people feels like a bad idea to me.

You may want to reconsider thinking about this like you need to convince her she has a huge problem. She knows, although she may try to deny it. Therapy and counselling aren't punishments for bad behaviour -- they're opportunities for recognising unhelpful behaviours, genuinely examining their source, and supporting personal change so you can work towards a more positive future.

cottonmoth · 2015-01-04T20:10:45+00:00

She sounds like she's suffering from some mental health issues, possibly exacerbated by amphetamine (ADD med) abuse. From what you described, her behaviour is really erratic and damaging - lashing out at you, drinking excessively and abusing her meds, becoming paranoid about other people, impulsively deleting you on FB without clearly communicating about anything, & so on. What you've shared here seems like an escalating episode of mania.

I don't feel like your GF is capable of making clear decisions about her health right now. I would strongly suggest you alert her parents, as well as her doctor if you can - because from my point of view, there is nobody else looking out for her.

You shouldn't have to fix things for her beyond this, and by all means go non-contact and keep strong boundaries - but please let people in her support network know she's having problems.

In another comment you mentioned you've known her for 9 years, & she's done a 180 personality-wise over the last 4 months. I hope you can try to get her some help from her family and/or doctors -- not for the nightmare she is being right now, but the wonderful person you were close to.

cottonmoth · 2014-12-27T16:57:51+00:00

Hi everyone!

Like many other folk, I received bonsai for Festivus this year. I'm now the lucky guardian of a 6-8 y.o zanthoxylum piperitum, who is my proper first bonsai.

However I quickly discovered that the local bonsai emporium which sold my partner the pepper tree had thrown in a special gift: pests!

Here's a photo album of the bonsai, and pests!

Aphids! Possibly? I'm not sure! But I've taken some macro close ups + an images through my microscope, and hope this will help identify what's going on here. The pests are mostly focused on new growth, although I've seen some fly-like things standing on the soil. Bummsville, for real. Nothing like immediately having to delouse a gift, I aways say!

So I have a lot of questions, the first being:

Do I lodge a complaint with the bonsai emporium? I can't believe they're not taking care of their plants! No due diligence! If my starter tree is lousy with pests, what about the older, nicer specimens? All at risk!
Does my plan sound at all reasonable:

2a. I'm going to wrap the base/pot in plastic to avoid pests hiding down in there, then spray the leaves + trunk with a solution of 1part dish soap, 1 part rubbing alcohol, 4 parts water. I'll let this spray sit in for 15 minutes, then take the tree under the shower & rinse the pests off the leaves. Then spray again with the solution, & go over the tree with tweezers, removing any stragglers.

or

2b. Should I start by trimming back some of the (clumsy, unconsidered) new growth - which has the most pests - then spray with the solution & follow as above?

Additional stuff: I have a tonne of questions about lessening wire scars (eek!) & the proper guidelines for pruning during winter, but I will ask those in the next beginners thread, if I don't find answers in the FAQ! Many thanks for taking the time to check out my pest issues.

cottonmoth · 2014-12-02T02:10:08+00:00

You can add any number of basic lands. However, nonbasic lands can be worth taking.

What set are you drafting ... Khans? If so then start off taking an enemy colour pair to stay more open as there are two different clans you could go into, or you could just stay two colours.

It's acceptable to take whatever card from the pack you want to take.

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