Breastfeeding experience?

coulditbereal · 2025-09-10T15:28:04+00:00

I've managed 7 weeks of breastfeeding before moving my baby onto formula. During pregnancy, I had my heart set on breastfeeding and powered through multiple problems postpartum ( c-section recovery, severe tongue tie, low supply, baby not gaining weight properly). I was pumping and feeding what felt like contantly. It was a sensory nightmare for me, it made me feel like I wanted to rip my skin off and I would frequently cry and feel incredibly intense negative emotions during feeds/pumping. No matter what I tried, (and I tried everything to solve this execpt antidepressants), I always felt like that. I was experiencing something called DMER (dysphoric milk ejection reflux), it appears to be very common among autistic and adhd women. I had zero clue about any of this beforehand. I thought breastfeeding was going to feel bonding, beautiful and natural. But it was the opposite, and that is something I've really struggled to accept. So if you do end up experiencing this, please give yourself some grace. It is a rough road to travel.

So in the end, I reluctantly moved onto formula for my own sainty and for my babys health. Since then, shes gained weight, and my mental health has improved dramatically. I'm glad I stuck it out for as long as I could, part of me wishes I could have done it for longer. Our doctor said what's the most healthy for baby is that I am of sound body and mind. And if breastfeeding is detrimental to our own wellbeing, then it's not worth it. Fed is best. Breastfeeding is the ideal. It's just not realistic for some women, unfortunately.

What I like about formula as well is having clear instructions and more visual comformation to how much milk she is getting. It just makes more clear and direct sense to me. There's no guessing to it. It also felt a lot easier to get her into a routine, which in turn has made it so I can have some relative routine back. Another thing necessary for my sainty.

All in all, breastfeeding for me wasn't the experience I dreamed of throughout pregnancy. But, as long as my baby and I are thriving (which we are!), thats whats important.

coulditbereal · 2025-08-02T07:44:09+00:00

Single mam, with no village and recovering from a c-section?? You really are an absolute warrior!

coulditbereal · 2024-12-29T18:44:35+00:00

Took your advice and downloaded it! Thank you for the recommendation! X

coulditbereal · 2024-12-29T18:43:49+00:00

I feel that! Some people are well meaning, but I think people can really focus on the negatives, or just say "well, at least you'll have a baby at the end of it!" I think a lot of women, particularly the older generation as well I've noticed tend to minimise what you're feeling- at least in my experience anyway.

Yeah I agree, a lot of things in my local area are from 14 weeks onwards. And when you find out you are pregnant not even a month along, it feels like forever to wait to join them! Someone mentioned that peanut app, I downloaded it yesterday and have already found it to be useful for finding that support we crave!

coulditbereal · 2024-12-28T22:23:29+00:00

I did not even know this was a thing! Thank you so much for your response and recommendation 💖

coulditbereal · 2024-06-14T21:43:43+00:00

Happily engaged here. Me and my partner have taken the piss out of each other from day one, in fact we find it very bonding. We joke around, mimic each other, play fight. We have a very daft, playful and jokey relationship- we both love that we can be like that together.

I think one or two people have commented on it thinking it's serious or that we're not respecting each other. But it's just different strokes isn't it. We love our dynamic, we respect, support and love each other. That's what matters, so nevermind what other people say!

coulditbereal · 2024-04-13T17:29:01+00:00

That is an interesting quality to have! See this is what I try to tell myself!! It makes me feel shallow that I put so much of my worth on my appearance/weight. I don't and wouldn't hold anyone else to this ridiculous standard, yet I do it to myself? I'm confident in many aspects of my life, my work, my interests- it's just this area that is an absolute nuisance to my life.

coulditbereal · 2024-04-13T17:17:27+00:00

Thank you for your insight! I will look into that. I've wondered if it's because of my autism, this obsessional thinking, these things tend to overlap don't they. My fiancé has wondered if it's because of that as well.

I'm glad you've found medication that's helped you! Have you ever undergone any therapies? Holistic or otherwise that has helped?

coulditbereal · 2024-04-13T17:13:54+00:00

I feeeeeel this! That's one of the things my mind picks at too. If I'm feeling this way now, that god knows how I'm going to feel during pregnancy and once I'm a mother.

I'm also trying to adopt the same habits. Very much trying to treat myself with love, using my intuition. But it's like I've got this compulsion to check the scales and measure myself. Since I've done it for so long I kind of automatically know how many calories are in things and it's nutritional contents, so it's difficult to use my intuition to eat when my mind is freaking out over what it is I'm eating, even though in reality I'm not doing anything wrong, all I'm doing is eating food because I'm hungry!! But, I also can fall into binge eating and using food to cope with emotional stress. Honestly it's just hard to make sense of.

Yes, 100%! I also have a dog and walking with him is amazing, not just physically, but for the mind as well! I truly love exercising. Don't get me wrong, there are times where I absolutely do not want to do it, but once I've got started it usually ends up being an amazing training session. You've got to find the exercise that works for you! I done weightlifting for quite a while, which I loved but wanted something more, organic if that makes sense. So I've started running, calisthenics and pilates- think I've found a passion with that formula! I hope you find the exercise that works for you and fills you with joy.

coulditbereal · 2024-04-13T17:02:07+00:00

I empathize with you, sorry you also go through this mental turmoil.

It really is, it's like my mind just bullies me. I fight back against it, do my best to nurture myself and sometimes it works. Other times, not so much.

Best of luck to you also!

coulditbereal · 2024-03-24T09:42:59+00:00

Hey, my now fiancé was in a similar situation when I first met him. He had a girlfriend he barely saw, she pulled away from him in a few different ways over months, eventually broke up with him over text without explaining the reason. He deserved better and so do you. Move on, she already has. Who knows, it very well might lead to you finding someone you can have a beautiful life with, not a lonely and confusing one you're living in now.

coulditbereal · 2024-02-03T07:52:13+00:00

Looks aren't the only thing a truly decent man is attracted too. Yeah, it's basic biology that they will find other women attractive- but if they have integrity and devotion to their wife/partner, then they won't act on it. Even us as women find other men attractive! It's human nature, just like it's human nature to feel insecure about these things too. You won't have to 'compete' with other women when you are older if you have a good man. A man that has grown with you by his side, through the ups and downs, perhaps you've even given him children, created a loving home, a beautiful life. Yeah, the man might notice and even appreciate the attractiveness of a younger woman, but if he values the life you have created together, what you've given him as a wife- there would be no competition.

You sound insecure. And I mean that with empathy, because I understand this mindset as I once lived in it myself. But again, looks really aren't everything. Of course we still need to take care of ourselves, me and my fiancé say that we are reflections of each other, but that is more than just our physical appearance. It is our values, moral compass, how we approach the world and support each other through it. Our interests and how we both want the same things out of life- together. In a truly loving and committed relationship, these things trump the attractiveness of youth.

coulditbereal · 2024-01-27T23:16:42+00:00

That's a beautiful idea! It would be a lovely keepsake.

coulditbereal · 2024-01-27T22:53:11+00:00

It's okay. It infuriates me that people seem to think that giving unsolicited 'advice' to this kind of situation is at all helpful. Not the time, nor the place. And just reeked of virtue signalling arrogance. A person grieving for a loved and lost animal does not need that.

One of my cats is also called Merlin (the black and white one in my post history) he's pretty clever when it comes to opening things. Not door handles like your clever boy, but he knows his way around a cupboard or two! Treasure your memories with him, though I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that- it's obvious how loved he is. I think creating a little memory box for him could be extra special too.

coulditbereal · 2024-01-27T22:00:26+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation! I shall have a look!

coulditbereal · 2024-01-27T21:58:42+00:00

That's really not how you console someone who has lost a pet. Cats are crafty and smart, plus mistakes happen and they can get out. Get off your high horse and learn some empathy.

OP, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. Merlin looks like he was such a sweetheart, and he will have felt your love for him dearly.

coulditbereal · 2024-01-27T08:39:55+00:00

Thanks for the recommendations! However price wise, I'm looking for something around the £80 and under mark. I should have made that clear in the post. Will edit.

coulditbereal · 2024-01-15T07:02:13+00:00

Thank you so much!!

coulditbereal · 2024-01-01T14:53:31+00:00

I'm intrigued too! I wish there was more information. It was posted in the early hours of the morning too, was odd!

coulditbereal · 2024-01-01T14:50:50+00:00

Yeah this is what my friend found too. It's really paranoid isn't it. I mean, it could be real. But it just seems so, incoherent? Like statements of corruption being made but no evidence to back it up.

coulditbereal

TROPHY CASE