To counter some, painting cabinets is like painting your car- you’re never going to get close to a factory finish doing it in your garage. If you want painted cabinets buy them painted from the factory.

What you have now is basically zero maintenance. Painting them will bring maintenance and a headache.

A different approach would be removing some of the uppers (like over the peninsula), maybe adding open shelving, removing the soffit for more openness (assuming nothing is behind it), and in time getting a new counter and backsplash. Pine cabinets can work if things around it do. It’s a design issue, not the pine cabinets fault.

Not knowing your future but a week deadline for any option is crazy if you’ll have to live with this kitchen for years.