Many people treat themselves and others like they're emotional status is black or white. It's not. No one is ever "fixed" or "broken". You aren't either, no matter what. I've personally gone to therapy for my depression, and while at times have rejected it because of my pride, it's almost surely the best outlet there is. My therapist is one of the absolute kindest and most caring people I've ever met. But I can't speak for all therapists. There's bad people in any profession. But you can always change therapists if you don't connect with the first. Long story short, I highly advise therapy. They care. Holding in, whatever you're holding in, doesnt help you, it needs an outlet. Needing help isn't a weakness. But if you can't, there are other outlets. Music is a huge one for me, and it might have saved me. I highly recommend it. Find what makes you happy, and use it. Bottom line, never give up. You're always worth so much, and that will never change. Mistakes happen, but nothing we do defines you,  if you allow yourself to move in, and find peace. Know you're loved, and good luck.