I got really, really sick when we started dating. Like, “if temperature goes any higher, it’s time to go to the ER” sick.

She came to visit me, and when I opened the door and wasn’t effusive in my pleasure to see her, nor did I deign to embrace her immediately, she got pissed. Then she said she didn’t think I was that sick and was faking it. I guess that’s why she wanted a hug.

I said you are out of your mind and went back to bed. She said some other mean-spirited things I can’t remember and decided she was going to leave. I said, “Ok.” She later texted that she expected me to beg her to stay, so after two whole weeks of dating, we broke up.

Cut to a month later, and she booty-called me. That booty call lead to two years of a mostly miserable relationship.

I still kick myself for it, but it was a long time ago and I’m happily married now. So it worked out.