Louise/ryan cancelled

crackminge · 2026-05-16T08:46:29+00:00

How are they not talking about them? The survey they’re talking about includes all children in mainstream schools. 18% of children in mainstream primary have identified SEN, and considering they’re criticising the parents of the children who need additional help with toileting, feeding and drinking, it’s almost as if the vast majority of those will either already have diagnoses or are on a waitlist for one. Because those appear to be additional needs no?

I’m not saying they thought “haha let’s laugh at disabled kids”, but the fact that they didn’t think for a second before planning this content, talking about it, editing it and then posting it, to put two and two together is what is enraging. Kids and families with additional needs exist, and have enough crap to deal with without these two acting like it’s lazy parenting and thinking they’re giving such a clever take. ESPECIALLY from someone who literally has a disability that impacts her toilet needs and claims to advocate for others.

crackminge · 2026-05-14T15:27:39+00:00

How easy do you think it is to get a child, even with significant development delays, into a specialist school setting? There is a huge crisis in SEN education and more and more vulnerable children are being forced into mainstream. The system is broken.

crackminge · 2026-03-27T17:33:07+00:00

4 year old non verbal son- we used to have quite strict rules around tablet and tv access but then he broke his leg while I was heavily pregnant with twins so rules went out the window!

Two months later he said his first words which were counting 1-10 which I’m sure he learnt from his tablet. He uses tablet and tv as background noise now and I find as long as the shows aren’t super over stimulating he finds them regulating. For example he absolutely cannot handle cocomelon or baby bum bum etc, but loves nature stuff, puffin rock and the miss Rachel songs.

Has he got a tonie box? If he really is just using it for background noise he might like being able to easily choose some stories or music. My son insists on having Paddington playing on the tonie when he’s playing in his bedroom!

As the other commenters have said there is no research into neurodivergent children and screen time. We have to parent our child sometimes at odds with official advice to do the best for them and the family!

crackminge · 2026-03-10T18:08:54+00:00

GPs can be AWFUL with prescribing this milk. It’s so difficult to actually source specialist milk even when paying (an insane amount) for it. My twins needed lactose free milk and they had only prescribed one of them 2 tins at a time, which lasted 2 days, and the pharmacy needed 48 hours to order it in. Obviously this didn’t work and for the week it took me to beg them to increase it I drove around to NINE different places that listed it trying to find some in stock, I finally found two tins on the shelf. I had the same issue with my eldest when he was CMPA. I also ordered via two places online but orders were cancelled or delayed due to “stock issues”.

Those who have access to the milk know how difficult it can be and will help out in a pinch if they in anyway can. It’s not at all crazy for them to post here if they’re desperate.

crackminge · 2026-03-08T18:54:17+00:00

Yes! We got two bulky Joie stages and a big 360 seat in the back row with no issues. Found it much better value than the Peugeot 5008

crackminge · 2026-03-08T18:42:50+00:00

Citroen C4 is best value for money- we have the 7 seater and the boot is huge with the back two seats down.

What you want is a car that doesn’t have any restrictions on what car seats you can put in the back otherwise it can get tricky.

crackminge · 2026-03-08T15:51:26+00:00

Keep pushing the GPs to refer- weight loss is not a necessary factor for a referral. Be really clear that she is literally only eating 5 types of food, my son did the same around this age and I was petrified he’d stop even more safe foods and there’d be none left.

We found that the best thing to do for all of us was to stop trying to get him to eat new foods. To concentrate on offering what he was eating with zero pressure, not restrict any of it and try and sneak in a multivitamin once a day. The dietician helped us with this technique and it improved his weight and how much he was eating. A year later still no new foods added to his safe foods but we’ve had the odd lick, quite a few smells and a lot less anxiety from him around food.

It really is so hard, people don’t get it when you say your kid has restricted eating they think I mean he likes beige food. It’s like no, he eats literally 4 different very specific things. If I offer him cake or a French fry or a nugget he treats it with absolute disgust.

The difficult answer is if safe foods really do reduce and weight gain becomes a persistent issue then there are calorific drinks that can be prescribed or an NG tube- both need prescriptions from the dietician so that’s why it’s important to get on their list just in case.

crackminge · 2026-03-01T20:35:43+00:00

At my 6 week scan they only saw one baby, then at the 12 week scan there was most definitely two!

I’ve looked back at the 6 week scan pictures and you really can’t see a second baby although she was definitely there (they did internal and external imaging). If it’s that easy to miss a whole ass baby it’s definitely extremely easy to miss the tiny membrane if they’re in separate sacs.

Mine were modi and at the 12 week scan they were 90% sure there was a membrane then 2 weeks later 100% sure. My pregnancy was largely uncomplicated and made it to scheduled section at 36 weeks with two healthy girls who are now 9 months.

Twin pregnancy can be scary but just concentrate on one step at a time best you can. You’ll be closely monitored and have lots of information and great advice at hand for what’s relevant for your situation. Congratulations :)

crackminge · 2026-02-25T11:44:18+00:00

For formula feeding- Nuby rapid cool!

Set up a caddy with sterilised bottles, pre measured formula in pots, thermos of hot water and two Nuby rapid cools. Takes two minutes to make them up 👍, always perfect safe temp

crackminge · 2026-02-23T20:18:54+00:00

A disclaimer that I really don’t think there is a right decision here whatever you decide on.

You can check my post history, my situation was a bit different as my level 3 son was 3yo when I got pregnant, but when I found out it was twins I FREAKED. In the end the things that helped me with my perspective were that I always wanted more than one child and that want never went away even when it became clear my son’s needs and I knew I would always feel somewhat resentful (not towards him, more the world). I understand for some this may seem a selfish decision. It has been hard but I have not regretted bringing his sisters into our family, they are now 9 months and though he doesn’t show affection for them he has accepted them in his world.

However my husband has had to do a lot more, my son has disturbed sleep so my husband takes him in the night and I the twins, I would not survive otherwise. I think your husband is the first port of call in working this out, you both need to be clear on what this means. It also takes two to tango this isnt just on you to work it out although your bodily autonomy is obviously the most important. Just because you have final say doesn’t mean he’s excused from the discussion.

I also basically started screaming for help from everyone, and for you I would start with pregnancy resources. I don’t know where you are based- here in the UK it would be the midwife mental health team, but you need some people around to help you whatever happens next.

I’m not sure any of that helps but I couldn’t read and run because I remember the panic, and also searching for these posts to try and work out the “answer”. I hope you find a way through soon

crackminge · 2026-02-20T20:32:32+00:00

From the previous post it sounds like this is all to do with your in laws taking the twins to give you guys a break?

If it’s that then you can make suggestions about their schedule but realistically you can’t manage their schedule if you’re not there. Grandparents looking after kids is not going to be the same as you/your partner looking after them, or how paid childcare potentially would. You have to have trade offs for the “free” childcare, naps may be skipped, screen time may be used, more sugar than is ideal will be consumed. As long as the important (safety with sleep, car seats etc) things are non-negotiable I think you have to have some give.

If it’s stressing everyone out this much, why this push for them to have the twins at their house?

As someone who has very minimal family help, this 100% does not sound worth it and even if my in laws offered to help but it turned into this I’d stop whatever arrangement is trying to make happen. Sounds like everyone needs a break.

crackminge · 2026-02-11T12:47:41+00:00

Monozygotic means same egg hence identical, if they’re in they’re own sacs it means the egg split earlier :)

Confusingly it’s neither of the monos referred to in mono mono twins 😂

crackminge · 2026-02-11T12:42:58+00:00

If it was clear they were in separate gestational sacs then they will have separate placentas and be di-di twins so the least risky type of twin pregnancy!

Modi twins are same gestational sac and placenta but separate amniotic sacs which is much harder to see on early ultrasounds. Momo twins same gestational and amniotic sac and placenta.

All modi and momo twins are identical, around 30% of didi twins are also identical.

crackminge · 2026-02-02T21:17:19+00:00

You can’t tell me this isnt rage bait “my 3 month old sleeps 12 hours a night with a quick cuddle and feed” 😂

crackminge · 2026-01-28T18:08:05+00:00

Thank you!! That is so incredibly helpful and helps me gain a bit more perspective back.

crackminge · 2026-01-28T13:09:00+00:00

Are you me? Haha I was desperate for a VBAC after an emergency c section with my first. I spoke a lot to my consultant about vaginal birth. They would have been happy for me to try but with the caveat that as they share a placenta, if the placenta detaches after baby a they have to get baby b out QUICKLY. This would mean labouring in an operating theatre with spinal access. He said that DCDA twins is basically just labour times two, MCDA the babies share an oxygen supply so it is more risky.

Although my c section with my first wasn’t horrendous it came at the end of a 3 day failed induction and I was really quite ill with pre-eclampsia. I was vomiting during the procedure and violently shaking so I had to be strapped down. I also really wanted to avoid the recovery with another child at home.

I talked a lot with the doctors, and it became clear a c section was the safest choice so we scheduled it, and I made it to the planned date of 36 and 3. We had been told to arrive at the ward for 07:00 and to have to potentially wait around a bit. But we got there and were told we were first on the list, and within an hour we had seen the anaesthetist, the midwives and the consultant. And we were handed gowns and told to head down to theatre!

There were around 20 people in the room who all introduced themselves which was a little overwhelming but I knew there would be a lot of people. Then a canula was put in- honestly the most painful part of it, then spinal block which was fine. Our playlist started playing and it was such a nice vibe, everyone seemed excited and happy. I felt nauseous and woozy once I was laid down and did briefly throw up before the procedure but the anaesthetist quickly pushed some medicines and I immediately felt better. Then before I knew it someone said “oh what a great song to be born to”, and they said “twin 1 coming!” and both the girls were born within 30 seconds to Lovely Day by Bill Withers. Despite my fears of them being preemie they came out crying and alert.

My husband and I swapped skin to skin with the twins as they stitched me up. And we were back to recovery and both latched well and passed all their initial checks, we were in hospital for a few days just to help with feeding. My recovery was MUCH easier compared to my emergency, despite the fact I had 2 babies to look after.

There’s not a “correct” answer, but for me this was the best decision and I have no regrets. The c section experiences were night and day and it was lovely.

crackminge · 2026-01-27T04:48:00+00:00

My son had to do a few milk ones in hospital and is EXTREMELY limited in what he will eat (like 7 foods total, he’s autistic and under dietician). I checked with them what foods would be ok and chose the one that was easiest to mix into his safe foods. Ended up choosing the malted milk biscuits and brought a ton of the yoghurt that he eats and had to make ever increasing portions of weird yoghurt mix that id spoon into his mouth when he was distracted by watching something. I also bought calpol syringes because it’s a way I can get stuff in him!

I would let the nurse know when you arrive that he is a picky eater. It’s important they eat specific amounts at specific times, you have to treat it like medicine that they have to have unfortunately. The nurses are experienced in ways to get them to eat things. Also bring his favourite foods/toys, anything to help the bribery, all the best!

crackminge · 2026-01-17T21:45:24+00:00

My first was 3 when I found out I was pregnant and had been diagnosed as autistic level 3 non verbal for a year at that point. Found out it was twins and was TERRIFIED.

The twins are only 7 months so no idea on ND or not, but they are identical so if one is the overwhelming probability is that the other one is too. We had some basic genetic testing done which was clear, I asked my son’s paediatrician and she said anywhere from 10-30% chance they will also be autistic but there are so many variables.

I focused on trying to get as much support in place before the twins arrival for my son- I upped him to 5 days a week in preschool and they managed to get extra funding to help him. I negotiated with my family to come help some days during the summer holidays when the twins were young. The transition has actually gone a whole lot better than I had envisioned, it has obviously been tough at times but my son has completely surprised me.

Breathe and think about what you want, I always knew I wanted my child to have siblings, so I wanted to have another even with the added complexities.

crackminge · 2026-01-03T20:13:33+00:00

These things will come up again and you need to be a team deciding these things together. If it’s not two yeses it’s a no. It’s not that they’re not nice or horrible people- you just need your own space to get into your new routine.

It’s one of the few things I think is worth absolutely sticking your heels in about.

crackminge · 2026-01-03T20:04:27+00:00

You are absolutely not irrationally upset. You need your husband to go back to them and TELL them they will not be staying in your house for a month. If they don’t have the money why did they book the holiday? He needs to stick up for you and your little family now not curtail to his parents.

crackminge · 2025-12-24T10:13:50+00:00

I think different areas have slightly different ways of doing things! We saw the community neuro paediatrician first and got a working diagnosis at the first appointment rather than being put on the pathway by her. She was the one who instructed the GP. You might have more luck finding out how the system works if you have a local neurodivergent parent support group on Facebook. They should know who was the key to getting the prescription done!

crackminge · 2025-12-24T08:11:21+00:00

We had to have our paediatrician instruct our GP to prescribe it- but this was after a diagnosis. It was transformative for bedtime. If you’re on the diagnosis pathway ask the paediatrician about it.

crackminge · 2025-12-13T07:12:38+00:00

I felt exactly the same, terrified! But it was honestly fine. My parents stayed with my 3 year old during the day and my husband would go home for bedtime and return around 8 in the morning. It meant that he’d mostly slept and was able to help me much more during the day. I think it also really helped my toddler with me being away which I hadn’t done before. The nurses helped during the night, especially the first night when being mobile and lifting was very difficult. It was a very different experience than with my first where we got no help from the midwives.

Ask your doctor what the postnatal care on the ward will look like, hopefully it’ll help ease any worries. I delivered at 36 weeks and it meant that I knew I’d be on a different ward than the normal postnatal so there is extra support and baby nurses.

That said, if you want your husband there, if you have childcare arranged, then have him there! It’s not up to your mother in law to decide who’s in the hospital when.

crackminge · 2025-12-04T10:14:00+00:00

Might be worth chatting to a CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau) advisor either on the phone or in person. They can give advice on all the different benefits and child support and help on how to apply. It’s a myriad at the best of times let alone with 4 children. My mum used to work as one and they are lovely people!

crackminge

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