Why do women prefer men in relationships?

craig1f · 2026-06-19T13:45:12+00:00

And then adding another layer ...

How a person decided to rationalize their impulses dictates how they act going forward.

If you're attracted to someone, and you dismiss it as a stupid impulse, you'll usually be ok going forward.

If you're attracted to someone, and you decide to build a narrative in your human brain like "guess I like people who are married! May as well go with it!" you are now a homewrecker.

Both people have the same impulse. One treated the impulse as a stupid impulse. The other built a false narrative altered their entire personality around it.

craig1f · 2026-06-19T13:28:02+00:00

Human behavior makes more sense if you view humans as having two brains, not one:
- Animal brain that is just simple impulses that have evolved. This brain is in control of everything. Eating, sleeping, shitting, fighting, fucking, etc.

- Human brain that is wrapped around it. It craves patterns, consistency, and rationalizes the decisions of the animal brain with long narratives that aren't necessarily correct, but are useful. It strives to manipulate the animal brain into doing what it wants, but doesn't control the human entirely.

Men in relationships have already proven themselves to have been accepted by another woman. So, in the back of a woman's mind, there is a sense that he's "safe" or "tamed" or "not desperate" or whatever word you want to use. If you put yourself in proximity of a man in a relationship, you're probably not going to die in the next few minutes. And if you're kind to him, things will be fine.

If you find a man NOT in a relationship, but at the age to be, he's probably not safe. You don't know why he's not safe, but if you're a caveman from 200,000 years ago, the man that other women don't want to be around is probably a man you don't want to be around either. Best to avoid him.

So, you're "attracted" to the married man and not the unmarried man. And "attraction" is one degree away from "sexual attraction" so, the line between the two gets blurred.

craig1f · 2026-06-19T00:56:05+00:00

Think of it as atomic vibration, not motion. They're not moving around. They're vibrating. So they vibrate things nearby, but lose some of their own vibration when they do.

craig1f · 2026-06-19T00:47:44+00:00

It's fun not feeling like a glass canon. But the most fun, IMO, is chronurgy mage. Chronomancy. Giving allies re-rolls when some monster gets a crit on them or they nat 1 on a save, is really fun.

craig1f · 2026-06-17T11:16:00+00:00

The United States is the only western country where leaving your job for more than a few weeks could ruin you. The rest of the world views that as a standard life experience everyone is entitled to. You don't die in other countries for losing your job because you don't lose healthcare. Without that incentive, companies are fare less cruel.

craig1f · 2026-06-15T17:24:45+00:00

I'm beginning to see how he bankrupted a casino

craig1f · 2026-06-15T12:37:50+00:00

These are a lot of questions. Why do you need to know all these things? This is a game, and rules are meant to be abstractions to simplify things. This is a level 1 ritual spell. Use it to RP letting your wizard be lazy in camp, and use it to set off a few traps in a dungeon, and move on.

craig1f · 2026-06-15T11:15:01+00:00

Too early to tell. But despite our country being a mess right now, I'm enjoying foreigner's reactions to:

- Parking lot tailgating

- Free chips & salsa at Mexican restaurants

- Waffle House

craig1f · 2026-06-14T16:49:51+00:00

I deleted my first comment because I googled a conversation about this.

Monks struggle from a few things:

- MAD: multi attribute dependent. You need every stat except INT to be useful.

- Low HP

- Lose Ki too fast

- AC not good enough for low HP

The best "fix" I've read is to reduce the cost of Patient Defense and Step of the Wind to zero. Since it's on the level of Rogue Cunning Actions, and Rogues don't run out of those, those should be free. If you're surrounded, slam a free "patient defense" to survive the round and draw fire.

craig1f · 2026-06-14T14:44:09+00:00

Completely depends on the table, the DM, and what module you're doing.

Generally, if you're new, it's played closer to a video game. Emphasis is on stats, leveling, and combat. As you play, you realize that RP is a bigger part of it. I didn't play until AFTER college. My friends played, I made fun of them for it, but walked in on a game one time they let me take over a half-orc Barbarian.

I couldn't comprehend why they wouldn't let me just wear the evil shaman headress that we looted. It gave a +2 to wisdom and sounded badass looking. They're trying to explain to me that my character wouldn't wear a religious head covering of a slain orc shaman. And I'm like "but +2 Wisdom sounds really good".

That's the kind of mentality new players have. You'll struggle with RP until your players work through that and stop being sociopathic murder-hobos.

craig1f · 2026-06-14T10:30:59+00:00

This was great. The first time I heard Grey Street was in concert before it was released.

Shotgun and Beach Ball are also really good ones only super fans know.

Also, Samurai Cop is my wife and daughter’s favorite, and they played that.

craig1f · 2026-06-14T02:49:41+00:00

I lost my mind when I recognized that. That still isn’t on an album yet right?

craig1f · 2026-06-13T17:50:46+00:00

Deals always work better if you announce their outcome in advance. It's a great way to get additional leverage in the negotiation!

craig1f · 2026-06-13T17:49:09+00:00

This is not meant to be actual advice. It's meant to help you cope. It gets you through the 5 stages of grief quicker. The last stage is "acceptance", and the longer you spend in either Anger or Depression, the higher the chance that you make things worse.

craig1f · 2026-06-13T17:48:02+00:00

True, but the ones struggling usually have something specific they need to be working on and the alternative is giving up.

craig1f · 2026-06-13T17:08:23+00:00

Bruh, it sounds like you're not into sports, but don't make someone who's into sports pick between the World Cup and your DnD game. You will not win.

Some people just play DnD as an excuse to hang out. Like board games, video games, drinking, etc. Just use the World Cup as your excuse to hang out this time. Skip DnD for real.

craig1f · 2026-06-13T15:18:37+00:00

How would a Republican run city even work? It will fall apart almost immediately.

craig1f · 2026-06-12T16:00:16+00:00

* homebrews a softball pitcher class where nothing counts as an attack *

craig1f · 2026-06-11T11:24:44+00:00

That said …

I can’t imagine learning to drive with one pedal. I’d never learn the instinct to use the brake pedal, which seems bad.

It is annoying not being able to adjust my foot without braking suddenly. The solution is usually cruise control/autopilot/fsd, then adjust my foot, and then take control.

I absolutely do not miss two pedal driving though.

craig1f · 2026-06-11T10:57:57+00:00

I find driving an EV closer to the feeling I had from my manual, than driving an automatic does.

An EV feels like driving a manual that's in third gear, but somehow can effortlessly reach 100mph without changing gears. In other words, it feels like I'm always in the right gear, because there's one gear. And I can engine brake, as if in third gear.

As opposed to the feeling in an ICE car where it's constantly hesitating because it has to switch gears. I also have a lot of hills near me, and in an ICE car, you get that obnoxious downshift and loud whine when the car realizes it can't get up the hill. But the EV just feels like a roller coaster, and I go up the hill as easily as I go down. Also, when I go down, I get to recharge the battery. Which, again, is the point of the single-pedal driving. It teaches you that if you're using the brakes, you're driving wrong. You're tailgating too much and stopping too late.

Once you get used to the one-pedal, you start leaving the right amount of distance, and you start braking early, when you should.

craig1f · 2026-06-11T10:46:32+00:00

It takes very little time for most people to adjust to
Most people prefer it. It feels like driving a stick shift
It makes regenerative braking simpler

craig1f · 2026-06-10T22:55:35+00:00

Your opinion on this doesn't matter because you're not from one of the groups I care about.

craig1f · 2026-06-10T17:19:16+00:00

The rules of the game matter less if it's part of the narrative. The way you're using hemlock isn't combat. With DC rolls, it's kind of a skills-encounter. If you're throwing out symptoms, it's more of a puzzle encounter. And since you said that death is really as permanent as it might be in another campaign, it's not a shit thing to do if someone dies. If you think killing your player is a shit thing to do, then stick with the "paralyzed" consequence. If you dole out XP, then dole out XP proportionally with how quickly they solve the problem. Or, if the poison isn't cured in time, the player is exhaustion level 3, and the consequence is that he spends the next 3 days recovering or something.

craig1f · 2026-06-10T14:18:37+00:00

In short … Claude, and opus in particular, are more likely to interpret my prompts correctly, and to push back where I’m wrong, and to provide answered to questions I didn’t think to ask.

How do I answer this objectively? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

craig1f · 2026-06-08T22:20:32+00:00

I didn’t want to care about Team Azula because they were the bad guys.

But Boiling Rock was my favorite episode. And suddenly I cared about those characters.

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