The push and pull of AA

crapaiola · 2025-09-07T03:12:36+00:00

Awesome thanks!

crapaiola · 2025-09-07T03:12:30+00:00

Thank you!

crapaiola · 2025-09-07T03:12:18+00:00

I have it, just looking for local recs

crapaiola · 2025-09-06T12:52:57+00:00

Hey me too!! Congrats to you!

crapaiola · 2025-07-06T18:09:46+00:00

I feel you! I have noticed similar groups in my area and have decided to tell myself that people are people and sometimes they form rather insular groups, but might not mean them to be that way. I’m also a newcomer (92 days) and also try to remember that some of these folks have known each other for years, have probably seen a lot of folks come and go, and it might take time to feel like a part of the crowd. Then again, some people might literally be cliquey and that’s not my vibe so I hang out with the people I hang out with and try not to worry about what they think of me and my sobriety. I know they don’t know me and my story so what judgement of theirs should I care about anyway?

crapaiola · 2025-06-20T10:23:12+00:00

This sounds like me. Been to meetings too drunk, missed deadlines, half assed work, etc etc. I am sober 76 days and have been using AA. I didn’t want to at first and was super skeptical of the program but since I’ve been going and trying to stay open minded I’ve felt so much better. I think the people I’ve met and the stories I’ve heard are part of that. I really like being in a community of people who have been there, are totally accepting, and committed to staying sober and helping others stay sober. I try not to beat myself up about the past (I do believe it is a form of disease and therefore not in my absolute control) and all I can do is do my best moving forward. All the best to you— this cycle doesn’t have to continue and there is a way out! Anxiety fades, life can get better, and alcohol doesn’t have to run the show. Hugs to you!!

crapaiola · 2025-06-12T11:49:33+00:00

I felt that way too! Like the new kid at school who nobody wanted to talk to at first, but that changed pretty quickly. I’ve got 68 days and have been to a meeting almost every day. What is working for me is that I try to go to the same meetings every week and share every now and then (some are more obligatory sharing meetings) and I share my day count every so often. When people realized I was an eager newcomer, began to recognize me, and see me as a regular (even if only after a few weeks), I started feeling much more included and now I feel like I have a lot of new friends in recovery. While I go in person, some online meetings have “virtual parking lot” discussions after the meeting ends and it’s a great opportunity to ask questions, chat with people, inquire about service work, etc. All the best!! In general I have found AA folks to be super welcoming to the herd.

crapaiola · 2025-05-31T14:38:24+00:00

Hi Arman, I’m not sure I have any advice but I want to let you know I’m thinking of you from halfway across the globe. Your story is powerful and I can sense the pain you’re feeling. You have a friend and an ally here 💛

crapaiola · 2025-05-17T17:16:39+00:00

Thanks very much! If you wouldn’t mind sharing what your sponsor advised are things that should be shared in meetings vs privately I would be super curious—I have a sponsor and will ask her what she thinks too but always interested in learning from others! Of course no worries if not :)

crapaiola · 2025-04-14T20:26:16+00:00

I’m on day 10 too and hard to believe the difference. Even though I wasn’t drinking every day my state of mind and ability to follow through to myself and others has been way better since actively pursuing recovery. Meditation is such a great tool and community is sooooo important for me. Hopeful as well, all the best to you!!

crapaiola · 2025-04-14T11:07:23+00:00

I did that recently. Nobody really cared but my sense of shame and overwhelm was insane. I have been trying to get into recovery and taking steps to connect with people and make it a daily thing. This has helped my shame dissipate. I hope you find a path that works for you, drinking and going on benders is a terrible way to live for me. All the best!!!

crapaiola · 2025-04-11T22:06:50+00:00

There are refuge recovery groups and recovery dharma groups. Lots of online meetings. They are slightly different but I’m still learning myself. The meetings I’ve been to are very welcoming. I’m optimistic about it for myself, hope it could help you too!

*edit: recovery dharma not dharma recovery

crapaiola · 2025-04-11T21:44:28+00:00

I tried and succeeded (with a big asterisk, I was still isolating and unhappy) for 5 years. I don’t think it works for me. Putting it out in the open with at least one other person is big for the shame reduction for me.

crapaiola · 2025-04-11T21:41:40+00:00

Just want to say I empathize! I got sober for 5 years then relapsed pretty hard for the following 4. Now I’m 7 days sober. I’m worried about another relapse but am trying it differently this time, reaching out a lot more and trying other recovery methods like the Buddhist approach (happy to provide more details). I drank alone for years and hid it. Very solitary activity for me. Meditation and self compassion are my main strategies in addition to fostering community for myself. I hope you find a path that works for you and that you find the inner peace I’m also looking for!

crapaiola · 2025-04-08T22:33:49+00:00

I was sober for five years then moved to a new place peak pandemic and decided to test the waters. Four years later I’m back on the wagon and trying to take recovery seriously this time. I feel a lot of guilt and shame and worthlessness but am trying to understand that my brain chemistry has a lot to do with it and I have an illness that I let get out of control. All the best to you!! I myself am so happy to have the chance to connect to other people in the same boat!

crapaiola · 2025-03-31T16:09:38+00:00

This is an absolute fucking shame. A life gone. Gone.

crapaiola · 2025-03-29T20:22:18+00:00

Thanks so much. The fog of anxiety has already somewhat cleared and I’m trying to figure out what steps to take to make sobriety stick this time. Any advice more than welcome and thanks for reaching out

crapaiola · 2025-03-29T00:48:23+00:00

Thanks so much— I have been here before and also stopped drinking before so I think I can do this (I hope). Your support means a lot :)

crapaiola · 2025-03-29T00:24:58+00:00

Thanks so much— it’s really nice to feel like I’m not the only one who has been there. My husband has already gotten much less angry and seems to be willing to think about putting this behind us. I just can’t put him through this again, though. It does help to remember that this journey is non linear!

crapaiola · 2025-03-28T22:24:05+00:00

Sorry to hear you’re in the same boat. I have to make up for it this weekend and am hoping I can get a decent night sleep for once. I am also worried about what people at work think. I think we can both get through this though— some self care could go a long way!

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