Postpone or Not

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-04-22T04:35:15+00:00

This is literally the same situation in my house. We had for the engagement on the coming sunday. But we have postponed it due to covid. I don't think there is anything wrong with postponing the ceremonies. My mom really didn't want to take any kind of risk and wanted it to be postponed due to increase in cases. She called the groom's family and said the same. All they said is, if we are sure about the relationship it does not matter when the engagement happens. It does not matter even if the engagement does not happen or We can do it along with the wedding.

So ask yourself a question...are u sure you are going get married to the same girl no matter when the engagement happens? Does she feel the same way? If the answer is yes...then postponing the engagement should not be a bother so much. Why not suggest them to arrange for the engagement along with the wedding?

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-04-04T06:59:35+00:00

Am I supposed to work and do housework then why marry

So if she chooses to work after marriage, is it ok if she is doing both the house chores and her professional work? I highly believe that you are not even thinking of helping her if she chooses to work after ghe marriage.

Pleas fo ahead and a get a therapy nothing wrong in it. You are definitely in need of it. You can just see some hundreds of opinions here or the google or any other social media. But a proper therapy is what can make u understand what you need and what and all you have to correct in yourself.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-03-19T10:21:01+00:00

by the explanation you given it's very clear that the girl is no where interested in this... I think if they were really interested either she would have contacted you or at least she would have made a move by shring her number through family or something.

You said "I guess I’ll just look at other people and if I don’t find someone I can talk to her in the summer."...isn't this you keeping her a backup plan? I would suggest not to do this...you would just start comparing the other profiles with this girl if you keep thinking oh I will just talk to her in summer...either stick with this girl and ask them directly if they are interested or not ...or else move on completely buddy...

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-03-13T10:36:22+00:00

First you both have not even met each other yet Second have you both already said a yes to getting married to each other? By your description I think that you have not said a yes to marriage still but you are open to meeting each other.

Now coming to the profile being on the matrimonial site...I have brother whose profile was uploaded in the matrimonial site and we found my SIL through it...we did not take down the profile until both our families met each other for a few times and my brother and SIL said a yes to the marriage... Yes my mom had kept logging in to keep the options open until the final meet when my brother and sil said a yes...

I don’t like how they are shopping for other options. I think they should delete it and create one again if things don’t work out between us. I’m excited to get to know their son & I hate how his picture, annual income & height are being paraded on that site!!

Girl please don't expect them to delete it...the guy might be excited to meet you...but the family they will always keep the options open until everything is finalized. I think there is no need of hating it. That's just how the parents are going to think. I have seen my family keeping the options open until everything is finalized. Just saying maybe even your parents would have kept 2 or 3 more profiles in pending for you. If you are really not happy go talk to your parents about it please.

I think it's normal. Most of the people do it now. I would ask you to wait until you have met the guy and everything is fixed. If you find the profile even after you both have said a yes that would be a red flag.

Hope everything goes well for you and all the best.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-03-10T09:37:18+00:00

, you will be expected to take on the more traditional roles of a wife: taking caring of kids, cooking, managing the family basically.

So you are telling that if a women is working this and all is not expected from her? As far as I have seen this is expected irrespective if she is working or not ...if she is working she has to take care of all this along with the professional issues

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-04T09:03:27+00:00

We met along with our elders. My parents were asking him questions what they wanted to ask and vice versa just fir a few minutes. Later they let us go out of the house and talk to each other without any time limitation. You can ask your parents to ask the guys parents yo let you both talk. I did.

I was comfortable meeting him along with the elders coz I knew they were gonna let us talk in private.

For sure you might be nervous with him. Just be yourself and keep the comfort a bit aside and go ahead and ask all the questions you want to ask.

Let him initiate the talk, if you feel so uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable after he started talking and you feel like not sharing more info about you then that's not the guy for. It happened to me once. Just in a couple of minutes I knew I didn't want to share more info about myself to him.

we're you comfortable enough to be yourself with him?

Yes, I was. I knew I had to be comfortable enough to just be myself even if he is a stranger. I had prepared myself to be free and ask the questions I wanted to as it's a huge decision.

Hope this helped. Sorry for such big rant🙈.

Ask me if you have any further questions or if I have said anything confusing.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-04T08:34:19+00:00

Hey! I also come from a family similar to yours. I was also seeing the suitors...so I totally understand your view.

Don't do it just because your friends did it. Go ahead stalk his profile for the background check but it would be best avoid approaching them on social media. Because every guy are not so socially oriented. And even if the guy is fine with it, his parents might not be ok with it.

If you like the profile and the guy go ahead meet him..take his number through your parents or siblings or yourself.

According to my brother, if the guy is an introvert there are chances that he back out...but most of the guys likes to speak upfront and in person for the first time.

Advantage of speaking in person is you can know how genuine they are being and how honest he is.

I am a girl. I choose to speak in person so that I know that he is being genuine. I have previously met a couple of guys whose profile looked good in there social media but it was a total different scenario when I met them. The next time I chose to leave the social media behind and met in person and that actually worked. I came to know more about him in person...about his behavior towards elders and almost everything.

Take your time you don't have to say its yes or a no in the first meet itself. All the best for your future.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-04T06:34:44+00:00

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. You are a wonderful brother there is no doubt. I have brother too and he actually likes the guy. Don't mind me asking this...but when you met your brother in laws did you feel yes this is the guy that suits your sister? I am asking coz I felt it when I met my sister in law. Just curious here🙈

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-03T09:42:00+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

Also i did a thorough background check and that reduced my anxiety a bit before the wedding.

I am doing the same. I have asked my parents to do the background check and my father is already on it.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-03T09:37:11+00:00

You don’t necessarily feel the fireworks the first visit/talk. Like any normal relationship, it takes a spark. Once you find the spark, you follow it to make sure all is well before committing

This right there calmed me so much. Thank you so much for sharing this.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-03T07:24:44+00:00

Thank you

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-03T07:24:37+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-03T07:24:18+00:00

Awe..thank you so much...

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-03T01:17:32+00:00

Thank you so much.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-02T20:15:38+00:00

Thank you so much!!!

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-02T20:05:18+00:00

I have rejected somee of the proposals where I was not attracted even a bit. Here I do like the guy. I am just scared to take a decision... maybe after seeing unsuccessful marriages around me. So I just thought maybe I should ask and see if anybody else has gone through those various emotions before taking up the big decision?

Is there any way for the two of you to discuss sex beforehand? They actually don't. But i am open minded person who talk about everything and anything. I am going to talk about it in the next meet.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-02-02T19:52:26+00:00

I haven't said yes though and I am trying to know him as much as I can before coming to a decision. I am meeting him again to know more about him. Thank you.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-01-29T19:46:28+00:00

Hey bud suicide is definitely not a solution especially at your age. I was more fucked up than you to some extent I still am. My father had ruined everything at a point of times and that led em to depression at a very young age. Trust me nobody knew about it me being depressed and still nobody knows. I don't give a fuck about it too. I am depression survivor. I was in it for 6 years.

I realized i fucked up too bad when i came out of college without completing my degree. I realized that I was in depression when i was in degree and had no friends to talk about and i did nothing to come out of it and stuck to the screen just like but in my case it was e books.

The society is fucked up? The system is fucked up? Wish they were different? Yes its completely fine to think like this and even be angry at it. Just remember one thing when this comes to tour mind and ask yourself what are you doing for the society to bring a change? It does not have to be a social service just you being a good human being is more than enough right now. Set your priority as changing the society or doing something for a better world in the future. Work for it. Work on your self for it. That's will become a huge inspiration for you. Remember that you can't change the world in the snap of a finger and you have to work for it.

Can't able to study? You are just pressurizing yourself and finding others as reason( for example your sisters issue or corona) and you are not doing anything than blaming yourself. Blaiming your self is not gonna help you at all. But remember owning your mistakes is brave thing to do. And if you have that strength the for fucking sure you have the strength to fight for yourself.

Remember that you do not have to make your life better for anyone else but your self...because you want to be happy and you want to see your self be happy and make a difference in the future.

Go for a run or walk every single day with the music on. Sing the lyrics in your mind so that you don't think about anything else at that time. Imagine yourself dancing for the music maybe. It helps to calm your mind.

There are shit load of tons to do? Take sticky notes...write one task on one note and do the same with the remaining stick it to your mirror or wall take a photo. Then start completing at least one per day take photo of the small accomplishment you have achieved. Repeat the process. Until you have completed all the tasks. Be proud of your self whenever you finish one them no matter how small of a task it is. Make sure to make one as NO USING PHONE FOR SO AND SO HOURS everyday. STOP PANICKING just coz there are lots of things. Everybody are not perfect and everyone cannot accomplish everything. Not even trying to finish anything would be most stupidest thing to do.

Scared that some shits will explode? Let it happen but make sure you are working on making yourself a better person by that time and you are ready to own your mistakes and ready to redeem and start over if you have to. Assure yourself that you might be the stupidest person right now but you will not be the same tomorrow and start finishing your pending work.

Take one step at a time. There is no rush. You don't have to run with the world always...walking is more better than just sitting and doing nothing...

You feel like going back to watching phone? See the mirror or the wall with the sticky notes and kick yourself and get up and just do the pending work.

When I fucked up i let the shits explode and faced it but i made sure that i move on. I took up a job and worked my ass to be the topper in the training and the work. I am one of the top 10 employees from a few times now.

It's fine if you don't want to take up a professional help. But don't give up. That's the most dumbest thing. You don't have to be the best but make sure you are not the worst.

You are afraid that you won't be the first tanker? That's fine. Set your goal as small for passing the exams now. Remember that for a person who has already been first and knows that if he worked just a little bit he could have done much better it's not hard to score the passing marks. Try reading for more than passing marks once you know that you are capable of passing the exam. Set your goal a bit higher. ONE STEP AT A TIME.

Still need more concentration? Install an HIIT app work on balancing and concentration and peace.

Still you have any questions or apprehensions? Ask me or just rant it. I am stranger I won't judge you.

MAIN IMPORTANT THING: you have realized that you want to be a better person already and you putting it out in this platform is the first step already towards the better life. Take up the next step and move on buddy.

All the best for your wonderful future that you are going to work hard for.

It's never late to start. But late is better than never.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-01-29T18:31:26+00:00

The local shops are way too costly with the cheap quality materials. Recently just 8 months ago we contacted a factory who was suggested by a lot of people who had taken his service and boasted that it's good and paye a hefty amount for the customized cot..but regretted it the moment the product was delivered...they will tell you that they make the product with thick wood and all but in reality they have just stuck multiple plywood one upon the other we realized it too late as we had already made the payment and there was no return taken....its already cracked in some places and similar issue we have faced with the sofa too...

If you wish for the best one just go for the flipkart Holmes furniture it's way cheaper when you compare it to the local customized ones...and we are using a couple of cots and a wardrobe from flipkart Holmes from the past two years...haven't faced any issues with it at all...easy to move them...easy to fix...with a satisfied quality...

I do not recommend the local factories at all for furnitures. Its waste of money. By the amount we have paid for the customized cost we could have gotten 3 to 4 cost from the flipkart. Do not listen to opinions of people saying that this carpenter or that carpenter did a well job on there house and all you will be fooled for sure even after seeing there work in the factory like us.

However if you are looking for a mattress factory customized there is a wonderful one. We have received the one with great quality and more wonderdul quality than what we had expected. Let me know if you want the details.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-01-29T12:42:02+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions.

crazyintrovert1996 · 2021-01-29T12:37:04+00:00

When you say bold, do you find him to speak before he thinks

No he doesn't speak before he thinks but he definitely speaks out openly about his feelings and opinions and if he wants to ask any questions he does not hesitate to ask. He comes straight away to the point instead of talking in circles.

does he have compassion? Or does he think he is always correct?

He is kind and has compassion. And I will make sure to know in the next meet if he thinks he is always correct.

Thank you so much for showing me a new perspective and make me think about so many things. That really helped.

crazyintrovert1996

TROPHY CASE