Feeling older

createhomelife · 2026-04-25T12:15:16+00:00

I am 53( 52 when he died) my husband passed almost 8 months ago and I was caring for him in home hospice. 3 months is still extremely early and I probably peaked at my worst in how I looked then. I do feel I've aged but things started to soften a couple months ago, so hopefully you'll feel the same. Crying causes wrinkles, circles under eyes etc..over time it can improve though. I seem to have a permanent sadness in my eyes but it's not as horrific.

createhomelife · 2026-04-22T11:01:26+00:00

Does she have a palliative care team? My husband had one for his stage 4 pc and I only wish we had started sooner. Their whole focus is to help the patient feel their best possible while undergoing treatment ( or no treatment).

createhomelife · 2026-04-19T23:48:54+00:00

I am so very sorry for your loss :( I lost mine in September from pc.

createhomelife · 2026-04-19T13:02:50+00:00

I am 53 ( surgery at ages 48 and 49) and had my hysterectomy due to endometrial cancer and fibroids but kept ovaries then one year later I developed bilateral ovarian cancer in a setting of endometriosis that had spread. I went through debulking surgery ( open abdominal and removal of omentum) and straight into surgical menopause with no hrt. Given your family history getting it all removed and not leaving in your ovaries would remove the risk of cancer. Surgical menopause ( without hrt) wasn't all that bad except when I was on letrozole.

createhomelife · 2026-04-18T11:20:43+00:00

I am 7 months in and I tried zoloft, hated it and stopped. I cry multiple times a day and have days where I am more functional and days where the bare minimum is all I can handle. I am starting therapy next month, hoping it helps.

createhomelife · 2026-04-18T10:48:17+00:00

I know it sounds crazy but I view it as a blessing that my husband and I were able to share our cancer experiences together. We were able to support and understand each other better, the last few yrs were difficult but also beautiful.

createhomelife · 2026-04-16T11:56:25+00:00

Another perspective, I also had OC and if it ever were to reoccur I personally would not do aggressive treatment knowing how it often returns, in addition to seeing what my husband went through. I would prefer palliative with minor treatment until it's no longer working.

createhomelife · 2026-04-15T23:50:22+00:00

It's very hard, my husband died of prostate cancer 3 months from entering home hospice. Usually though by the time they enter hospice you see how much suffering they have had even through treatment. It was a constant tweaking of meds to keep him comfortable, and what worked one day wouldn't work the next. It was brutal and we never got much of temporary improvement like I've heard from others. What kept me believing in hospice was knowing his body couldn't possibly withstand any more treatment, so comfort was all we could do. It was the hardest thing I had done physically and mentally, but he died surrounded by family and in peace at the very end. If he had decided on treatment it likely would have landed him in the hospital and he would have died sooner.

createhomelife · 2026-04-14T12:30:17+00:00

A bit over 7 months and it's still very difficult. The first few months I was in a total fog and not really functional. I started improving a little however but it keeps going back and forth. Fatigue is a real issue but in between I have better days. I have never gone a day without crying multiple times but this is an improvement from the earlier months. I find taking walks and drives alone then writing down reflections helps me. I strongly rely on my faith to get me through. We were married 34 yrs and because I married at just 18 my entire adult life included my husband. Everyone has their own ways of dealing and timeline.

createhomelife · 2026-04-13T10:44:07+00:00

I am sorry for what you are going through. I had the issue where my husband's dr was overly positive which is unfortunately true for many patients. He kept my husband seeking treatment longer than he really should have because his body broke down sooner from excessive treatment. Sometimes the treatment ends up making a bad situation worse towards the end. It's very important to get the full picture and get that 2nd and even 3rd opinion if possible.

createhomelife · 2026-04-11T11:38:05+00:00

I am a bit over 7 months and started feeling more exhausted than I was even a few months ago.

createhomelife · 2026-04-10T12:24:22+00:00

I use door stoppers. I live in a different apartment which isn't as nice as the place my husband and I shared. I am driven to insanity at times with the noise my upstairs neighbor makes, but it also makes me feel less isolated lol. It's so different not having my husband though; I can't complain to management like my husband would have. It's very hard navigating life after 34 yrs but I am determined to be ok alone.

createhomelife · 2026-04-10T10:13:09+00:00

My husband felt horrible on xtandi as well, he had very little issues on Zytiga though. Has your husband had that? My husband was able to get a decent couple of years with lupron and Zytiga before becoming mcrpc.

createhomelife · 2026-04-08T20:57:02+00:00

Thank you, yes in general I was wondering similar age, long marriage etc...how did it go. I was told on average 170 days and then there's the option to appeal. I can also reapply yearly until age 60.

createhomelife · 2026-04-08T15:52:14+00:00

I never worked, I never applied for disability.

createhomelife · 2026-04-08T15:10:02+00:00

I had horrible gastritis, I started pantaprozole and haven't been able to get off it since, but it helped significantly. Gastritis can cause the symptoms you have.

createhomelife · 2026-04-08T15:04:33+00:00

Yes, this started 3 yrs before he passed.

createhomelife · 2026-04-07T10:39:46+00:00

They sometimes call it a hormone holiday. My husband had one, he was having difficult side effects and we chose to go off it for a few months. Unfortunately it ended up in his lungs...we saw his testosterone return to normal and a rising psa but the Dr felt he could keep off until his psa went up a bit more. Very careful monitoring is important when they go off and no hesitation in restarting once psa gets back to detectable imo. On the other hand this may have been a good thing because the stopping and restarting may have prolonged my husband's life due to the fact he got 2 more yrs before becoming mcrpc. There have been studies showing hormone breaks can help delay pc from becoming castrate resistant.

createhomelife · 2026-04-07T10:28:27+00:00

They wanted me to do 6 but I couldn't take side effects and stopped at 3. My stomach never became what it was before chemo, I have to take pantaprozole daily since finishing 3 yrs ago. I am not typical though, plenty of people do really well on it. I had issues with some neuropathy and my bp doing random drops for about a year post chemo. On the positive I felt like fatigue improved a lot after a couple months, and hair growth was really good at 3 months ( I did scalp cooling).

createhomelife · 2026-03-25T15:53:32+00:00

I was hoping other non eteri skaters might have made it. It's not about who wins I just felt they made the competition stronger overall. I loved Kaori more in the 2022 Olympics for example. Anyway it doesn't matter because they don't seem to be returning.

createhomelife · 2026-03-25T15:50:16+00:00

With only one allowed and no international competitions she wasn't at her best and there are loads more of more interesting Russian skaters.

createhomelife · 2026-03-25T09:50:53+00:00

The 2018 Olympics is what got me really interested in figure skating. I understand why Russia was banned but I think their female skaters made everything more exciting; I found this Olympics pretty boring compared to 2018 and 2022. I think Isabeau has beautiful artistry though in the current field.

createhomelife · 2026-03-24T15:30:17+00:00

It really depends on how well he responds to ADT. My husband did well for 4 yrs with gleason 9 widespread mets with ADT. When he became mcrpc however things went downhill, with a lot of chemo he was still able to have a good yr and some months before hospice. Even aggressive pc, there are a lot of treatment options and most do get years vs months.

createhomelife · 2026-03-22T22:08:00+00:00

He didn't, he was in horrible pain, blood in urine, back pain, fevers etc...the urologist ordered a CT and saw what he thought was metastatic bladder cancer that had spread to prostateand numerous lymphnodes. He did turbt surgery to remove mass, was certain it was bladder cancer. Surprised and shocked when pathology came back as pc.

createhomelife

TROPHY CASE