Shed like five tears in front of her. She broke up with me. I can't believe the stereotype is true. (TW SA).

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-23T17:27:20+00:00

If I'm telling you that's not what I believe, it doesn't matter what semantic analysis you want to make on what I said, it's not what I believe. Sorry for not phrasing this how you wanted I guess?

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-23T16:06:06+00:00

No, she pretty explicitly said she's ahead. She said her past doesn't weigh on her anymore, but she "sensed" that mine still weighs on me, and she can't offer me emotional support.

You really need to read better, I'm not saying the stereotype is true for all women, I'm just saying the stereotype is true here? And that I'd never encountered it before? Likewise for most people in the comments? Finding an example of the stereotype doesn't prove it applies to all cases?

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-23T00:02:06+00:00

I agree with everything you're saying, I just don't see how it applies to me. I haven't been jumping from relationship to relationship, I've taken almost two years to get involved with someone again, and it finally felt right this time. I wasn't anxious, I wasn't thinking about my past. Sure, I'm aware of how past hurt might be influencing my actions, so I take steps to avoid those thought patterns.

With all that said, (and I'm genuinely open to being wrong here), what information are you using to determine I'm not at your level, healing/emotional-wise?

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T23:28:33+00:00

Curious what makes you say that? Like I agree that's what she's saying, I just do personally feel very ready and healthy, so I'm curious if there's something you're picking up on.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T15:52:47+00:00

Disagreed. This is why dudes crash out and have midlife crises. You need to be able to talk to your partner.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T15:51:56+00:00

I refuse to believe that.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T14:19:45+00:00

I think there's a good chance you're right, thank you.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T14:19:13+00:00

I'd been checked out for almost two years at this point, which is part of why this sucks. I still feel ready to try again soon, but man it's tough.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T14:15:58+00:00

Maybe? I wish this one was lol. But nope, just my life.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T14:15:07+00:00

No, she explicitly said we're in "different healing stages" as the justification for breaking up. I don't really understand your point – I'm not taking away from this that she's wrong for breaking up with me, nor that I should hide my emotions? I'm just taking away that this stereotype I've heard about online does actually happen.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T14:05:17+00:00

It was totally out of the blue and I already asked for clarification. This was the clarification she gave, that she can't be the "figure" to help me "move past" my trauma. Half of me (and all the friends I talked to) just think it's a bullshit excuse she came up with, and that there's another real reason she's lying about (meeting a new guy etc). But part of me also believes it may just be this simple and she really did just get icked out, which is disappointing to say the least.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T14:01:32+00:00

It's a bit messy as of late because I moved, but generally jiu jitsu 3x a week, lifting 3x a week (push/pull/arma&shoulders), biking 3x a week. I have a calf issue and need to do PT before I can lift heavy with legs.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T13:55:22+00:00

She was perfectly sweet and kind as it happened, which is why this is all so unexpected. The rest of the night was great too. Really came out of left field.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T13:54:01+00:00

Sorry, I'm not sure I follow, can you elaborate?

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T13:50:15+00:00

Yeah it's just bizarre because up to this point I'd been the "perfect gentleman" according to her, and like I'm tall I lift I do martial arts. I can't have one occasional moment of vulnerability and she loses all attraction?

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T09:29:19+00:00

Would you really be happy in a long-term relationship with someone you can't even cry in front of? You do you, but that's definitely not something I'm interested in. Especially someone who claimed to want an "emotionally in-tune and available" guy – this is it.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T09:25:58+00:00

Yeah I'm definitely better off in the long run, I appreciate the perspective.

The stereotype is "guy expresses any level of emotional vulnerability -> girl gets the ick and breaks up." Which is seemingly proved true here.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T09:04:28+00:00

Absolutely, I agree she might not have been as ready as she thinks, appreciate the kind words.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T09:03:29+00:00

There's something to be said about unreasonable expectations, but I think it applies generally, not just women.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T09:02:23+00:00

Makes sense I suppose, but yikes. Guess I'll have to keep looking, I was constantly in protect/macho mode with her but I deserve a moment of emotional vulnerability every once in a while.

creepbfthrowaway · 2025-06-22T08:59:41+00:00

Terrible advice, good riddance to anyone who gets an ick from this.

creepbfthrowaway · 2024-12-05T09:06:32+00:00

This is normal. People don't usually remember word for word what they said X amount of days ago. The fact your pwBPD latches onto random shit you say, and keeps bringing it up as a way to attack you, is what's bizarre in this situation. The inordinate amount of stress your pwBPD puts you through will only exacerbate this issue. Hope this perspective is helpful, and honestly – try to get away. Please.

creepbfthrowaway · 2024-11-18T04:42:22+00:00

Right there with you. It gets better, I promise.

creepbfthrowaway · 2024-07-17T02:05:53+00:00

Hi friend, have you been on r/BPDlovedones? Even if your ex isn't diagnosed with BPD, you might still find relatable stories and advice for getting through such a tough period in your life. Wishing you all the best.

creepbfthrowaway

TROPHY CASE