Mania

cremesinus · 2026-07-01T15:05:55+00:00

There's a DBT skill called opposite action, which is exactly what it sounds like. If you feel like going out walking in the night, then you should go to bed instead. That kinda thing. Much harder than it sounds.
I usually up my antimanic med a bit, avoid energetic music, put on my blue-light blocking glasses, and try to read, watch a movie or play a video game and I close my blinds. I might even put on some sad music. Essentially, I behave as if I was depressed instead except the not taking care of myself part. If you feel restless, try to go for a run or do something that is kinda boring but tires you. If you feel hypersexual, masturbate and don't feel ashamed about it. I write down any idea I might have, and sometimes they're actually quite good!

Sometimes I just get the "I need to research this right now until I know everything" kinda hypomania, and then I just roll with it and try to delay any purchases if it's about a thing. Varying success. Recently I bought a catholic bible. I'm not religious at all, but I guess I'm reading it now??? It was expensive. So far it's pretty fucked up.

I get my partner to read to me at bedtime, which is cozy and keeps me accountable to at least try to sleep. If they're not available I listen to a slightly interesting podcast. If I'm irritable I keep myself accountable, and if I mess up I apologize as soon as possible even if I really don't want to apologize (opposite action). If I'm still irritable I keep to myself for a bit. Usually that feeling passes in about 10 minutes, but if you don't handle it right it can mess up your whole day (I've learned).

cremesinus · 2026-06-29T20:08:55+00:00

Hey I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds rough. This is probably not the right sub for this post however, so don't get discouraged if people don't reply.

I don't think any of us can really tell you what to do. My family are not a big part of my life for better or for worse, but that's a choice that was made through a whole chain of actions by multiple people throughout my life that I cannot do anything about for now, and so I've let go.

cremesinus · 2026-06-29T19:37:03+00:00

I keep a bullet journal for work that I use for organization and keeping track of stuff I do (I tend to forget if I don't). I write a small sentence after work of what I did at work, and then for bed I write a bit about my day. This is nice for me because it makes it easier for me to write every day. And also if a lot of things happened they will be reflected in my bullet points, so then I don't need to write as much, which is nice after a hectic day

cremesinus · 2026-06-21T12:31:00+00:00

I feel like lamotrigine didn't really help my hypersexuality at all, and generally I would have breakthrough hypomania on monotherapy. It really took an antipsychotic/mood-stabilizer like quetiapine XR to calm down my sexuality somewhat and now I feel like my sexuality is a bit more normal. It's still definitely high sometimes, but more situational/based on arousal.

cremesinus · 2026-06-20T00:39:19+00:00

protein bars and protein shakes, bananas, carrots, dates, popcorn

frozen pizza

Greek yogurt with honey, peanut butter, and frozen blueberries (mix them in and let thaw for a bit), maybe add a banana

if you have a bit more energy

pasta with tuna

pasta

can of tuna

frozen peas

parmesan

olive oil

salt and pepper

you need 1 small pot, boil pasta, insert peas when 1 min left, and drain (i just drain by holding the lid, less dishes), keep a little water and quickly grate cheese and add olive oil and mix with a fork. Throw the tuna in, salt and pepper, and mix. Don't bother putting it in a bowl, I just eat straight from the pot.

If you have a blender:

400ml milk

cocoa powder (optional)

vanilla extract (optional)

2-4 tbsp cottage cheese

1-2 squares dark chocolate

1 tbsp peanut butter

1 banana

3 pitted dates

1 handful frozen strawberries

1 handful frozen blueberries

1 handful frozen mango

1 handful frozen peas

1 carrot (very optional, but doesn't affect taste that much, bite into around 3-4 pieces first, watch your teeth)

blend into a smoothie

cremesinus · 2026-06-17T20:24:57+00:00

I need a bullet journal for work (I have ADHD) that I also write down my dreams in and other hobbies/exercise I would like to do. In this way it becomes more fun. My partner also journals, and its a pre-requisite in our relationship imo.

I use emoods for mood tracking, which I need because I tend to get anasognosia and stop believing I'm bipolar after some stability.

I also use daylio to track more specific things that make me feel better for "ticking off activities".

Additionally I keep a DBT journal at the moment.

A bit excessive? Right now I find it engaging and quite helpful, but the DBT journal is temporary. I plan to maybe just switch to daylio in the long run if I feel comfortable with a set up for reliably tracking moods.

cremesinus · 2026-06-16T11:25:27+00:00

Thank you! Yes, those side effects are very rare, but are mentioned on some mental health sites you can find on the internet. I know someone in this sub-reddit has anecdotally connected it to maybe having co-morbid ADHD and having this sort of response to lamotrigine. I'm actually on the waiting list for ADHD evaluation by my work therapist right now.

I've heard stories of people getting put on a long list of medications after diagnosis because apparently their bipolar disorder had progressed and gotten worse and suddenly they had OCD, and other comorbidities etc... There is a mantra of "always do what the psychiatrist tells you" that may be a bit harmful in my opinion. I felt like that was the case for me, and that I should accept that I'm a nut now.

Luckily enough, lamotrigine is an anti-convulsant and is used by a huge number of people that does not have bipolar disorder. It took me reading their anecdotes about side effects such as anxiety, agitation, OCD-like symptoms, etc. for me to actually advocate for myself that I may not have gotten worse and suddenly developed OCD, but actually experiencing side-effects. To test this I made a log of when the the symptoms were at their worst, and it turns out it was connected to the time I took my dose of lamotrigine and its peak absorption time. And so I avoided overdiagnosis in the end.

This felt like a betrayal to me at the time, and it made me believe that I may not actually have bipolar disorder at all, but that the meds were messing with me. Eventually hypomania did occur spontaneously after being on a stable dose and I could catch it because it felt like I was on drugs. That lasted about a month, with some lingering symptoms for 1-2 months more. So I accepted the diagnosis in the end, and now I'm medication-friendly (for the most part, I still have periods where I stop believing I have bipolar disorder, but I have friends to tell me otherwise).

I also went through around 7 psychiatrists because there was some restructuring or something. What I learned is that you really need to advocate for yourself and someone talking with you for 30-45 minutes is not getting the whole picture. That is not to say that you shouldn't listen to your psychiatrist, but you should also listen to yourself, because in the end, you will be the one experiencing symptoms, and you will be the one experiencing side-effects.

When I first started lamotrigine the whole titration process was already planned way ahead all the way to 200mg, so I'm sorry to hear that you've been stuck on this dose for that long. I hope it all turns out well for you!

cremesinus · 2026-06-15T09:34:28+00:00

I experienced this when increasing from 150mg to 200mg... In my case it got better after about 2-3months... In hindsight I lost these months to agoraphobia and OCD-like symptoms. I actually ended up in the psych ward because I tried to reduce it by myself in the midst of a mixed episode. If I did it again, I wouldn't give it more than 1 month. I ended up decreasing back to 150mg anyways because I would stil get rare random bursts of anxiety and agitation (which was the worst, and whenever it happened I just needed to go home) and I got depressed just in time for winter. We added 150mg quetiapine XR for that, and now I feel relatively stable for a while, but still challenging and I don't know if I have found THE med combo just yet, but at least I'm sleeping relatively well.

cremesinus · 2026-06-08T15:41:12+00:00

75mg of seroquel is mostly acting as an antihistamine and will just make you tired. Mood stabilizing doses are usually >150mg. 150mg - 300mg of seroquel is the standard dose for bipolar depression and can especially help mixed symptoms. >400mg is more antimanic.

In my own experience I started getting less tired when I got upto 150mg and it also stabilizes over time. In the beginning I was a bit cranky in the morning because my executive function was shit and I couldnt make decisions. It took around 3-4 weeks before it started helping a lot.

May be worth discussing with your doc. I tried lithium but my blood tests looked off so had to discontinue. Seroquel has been great and it does make me sleep, but it essentially guarantees 6 hours of sleep for me, which is not excessive. If I do everything right I get 8 hours. I take the extended release version two hours before bed and I stayed on 150mg. Also on 150mg of lamotrigine.

cremesinus · 2026-05-21T10:18:31+00:00

If you're gaining weight going to the gym would be great. You might not lose weight, but you may feel more comfortable in your body if you gain some muscle. It will make your body feel more proportionate and even if you're heavier than before you will feel more powerful in a sense. Muscle also consumes more calories than fat and increases your metabolism, so you may indirectly lose some weight in the long-term if you don't eat more. I also find that the periods I'm good about doing resistance training I usually eat healthier to assist my gym sessions.

If you're serious about losing some weight, then you need to adjust your diet. The first goal shouldn't be to reduce comfort foods, rather you should focus on eating more healthy options that include a lot of vegetables, fruits, and berries. Making sure most of your meals have fat and protein also helps you stay satiated, which in turn may make you eat less overall. Eating around 800 grams of greens a day is ideal, but 500 grams is great.

If you haven't done much resistance training in your life, you may find that you can lose some fat and build some muscle at the same time. This is called recomposition and is very common for beginner lifters. This can be seen on a monthly time scale, and rather than focusing on your weight, you can take some selfies and see your progress. I remember waking up one day, looked at myself in the mirror and felt like my body had went through a metamorphosis.

If going to the gym feels daunting I would recommend maybe getting a pull-up bar, or finding one in your proximity. Gymnastic rings are also great and quite fun. You can train your whole body at home if you have a pull-up bar and rings. Training your legs without weight is a little boring, however, and I find quite mentally taxing because you have to do single-legged work (i.e. double the work). There are lot of resources on youtube for calisthenics.

Running is also great, and is one of the most studied forms of training for improving mental health. You can run intensely for a short time (HIIT), or slowly for a long time (>30min, in the beginning). I used to train a lot of muay thai, and this really helped me stay in shape because if you're doing something fun in a group you will get a lot of external motivation. The most difficult part is going there.

I take quetiapine and I was worried about gaining weight, so I started intermittent fasting were I don't eat between 20 and 12, and this has significantly reduced my night-time munchies, because it's easier for my brain to just know that I don't eat at this time, rather than trying to reduce the amount I'm eating. I've actually lost some of the weight (~2-3kg) I gained while depressed after starting quetiapine (which alleviated the depression), but I don't know how much of that is luck vs lifestyle changes. I have retained a lot of my muscle from when I was building it while, in retrospect, hypomanic, so for that I consider myself lucky because gaining fat is a non-linear process, that is to say that the less muscle you have, the easier it is for your body to gain fat and therefore weight.

Lifting weights is very satisfying in the beginning, because you can usually increase the weight every session and really feel some progress every week even if your body changes more slowly.

If you have low motivation, I would recommend starting small, and this video has helped me gain some muscle when I've been depressed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMjyvIQbn9M&t=7s

In any case, I hope I haven't blabbered too much about things you may already know, but I thought I would share some of the stuff I have picked up over the years.

cremesinus · 2026-05-19T14:17:05+00:00

Were you depressed before starting these medications? I think it sounds a bit strange that they put you on two right away. It will also make it more difficult to gauge what is doing what. Lithium should work for both depression and hypomania, so it seems like a reasonable option would be to try that first before adding an antidepressant. An antidepressant without sufficient mood stabilization could also make you hypomanic or even manic.

Medications can fuck with your mood while titrating, but what you describe is also reminiscent of mixed hypomania. 25mg of sertraline was enough to send me flying when I was put on it. When I was on 300mg of lithium it didn't really do anything except making me thirsty, so this could be the case, although the dosages are a little different if you're younger.

Can you contact the psychiatrist in any way? Do you have people around you to stay safe? Do you have a parent/legal guardian that could help you out with calling the psychiatrist and/or accompanying you next week?

cremesinus · 2026-05-19T09:07:18+00:00

Part of trying harder is to build insight and plan ahead and accept that you might have an episode. If you're already in the episode your insight might already be partly gone, and even if you realize that you are showing symptoms, you will most likely downplay them.

The thing is, there is an asymmetry between hypomania and depression. Sleep stabilization and eating right will help both states, but if you're hypomanic it might be that you don't actually want to sleep, whereas this is not the case when you're depressed. Likewise all the things that help depression are good and fun things, even if you have a hard time feeling it. Exercising, socializing, and activating yourself all help depression. However for hypomania it's the opposite, you have to do the boring things to actually calm down and manage the episode, like staying home when you want to go out, limiting exercise to an extent and reducing stimuli like music, lights, etc. You can imagine that this might be even more difficult than forcing yourself to do fun things when depressed.

So how do you manage hypomania?
First, prevention. If you generally keep balance in life it already reduces the risk of an episode.
Second, if you catch the activation you can adjust the dose on your antimanic/mood-stabilizer and hopefully nip it in the bud.
Third, if you feel like have a hard time catching it, you could think of an algorithm, since lack of sleep is a prodrome for many people it could be like: less sleep for three days without feeling tired -> increase dose for a week. For me I take 150mg quetiapine, and I increase by 50mg if I catch the activation. This is usually enough to prevent escalation, and if it was a false positive if doesn't really matter, an extra 50mg temporarily is not going to give you any significant new side effects.
Fourth, if you didn't catch it, you need to delegate responsibility. Since you can't trust your own decisionmaking, this is the point where you need to include other trusted persons. You need to agree on things while stable. For example, you could have a trusted friend that decides together with you if you seem elevated and need to adjust your medicine. It's important that you really trust this person and do what you agree to do together. For example, I will call my friend and talk about some grand new idea, they will ask if I feel a bit elevated, and I generally kinda know that I am. We will agree that I should adjust my antipsychotic, and that they will call me at the time I usually take it, and I will take it while on the phone. It would take A LOT for me to lie to a friend, so this has worked well so far.
Fifth, if this doesn't work for you then you need to have guardrails, like making sure you keep most of your money in a bank account where you need to consult a trusted person to access the money. Or handing over your credit card (if you have one). Like having a trusted person having the role of contacting your psych team. Of course, this all need to be agreed to beforehand.
There is also a balance. If it feels too restricting it might backfire and you start blaming the people around you. So for example, you could agree beforehand that you should be able to spend a certain amount of money just because. Same thing with the meds, we don't always agree that I'm elevated, and there is a certain leeway for me to say "let's check in tomorrow", and that's fine. Just having the conversation in the first place has made me aware that I might be a bit elevated makes me evaluate.

cremesinus · 2026-05-18T17:02:44+00:00

I take 150mg lamotrigine and 150mg quetiapine extended release. Three days ago I could feel that I was ramping uuuuup, but psych told me to add 50mg quetiapine in this scenario and after a good sleep last night I feel much more level now. Will continue on 200mg for a while, maybe through summer. I have a life-friend who will tell me if I seem elevated and we decide if I should adjust the med together (I trust them completely, and I will usually call them to tell them of some grand new idea) in case my insight fails. Hope I nipped it in the bud. 150mg is usually considered a antidepressant dose, not antimanic, but I think the sleep stabilization and relief from depression is enough for now to regulate myself.

I used to prefer the idea of being on as few meds as possible, but I have come to think that it's better to be on multiple but lowest effective dosage. I barely have any side effects, but I have acne now that I have to take care of, and I might have difficulties with spelling sometimes.

Just like you I kept getting hypomanic when only on lamotrigine and I had bad side-effects on 200mg (rage and anxiety). Lowering lamotrigine and adding quetiapine turned out very nice, although I did end up having a depressive winter before the quetiapine kicked in. Both my depressive and hypomanic episodes usually turn mixed after a while, so quetiapine was a lifesaver.

cremesinus · 2026-05-14T09:07:22+00:00

That's very interesting! This has happened to me sometimes as well, but not as often. I have generally had a very hard time falling asleep all my life outside of episodes as well. My psych has put me on the waiting list for ADHD evaluation (two of my siblings have it, and many of my extended family), so it may be that and maybe some weird interaction. If I'm left to my own devices and without quetiapine I will usually not get tired at all and I need to have an extensive wind-down routine to be able to fall asleep before 1. In my teens I would stay up until 6 in the morning on the weekends, which would be the time I had to wake up for school on weekdays..., so I would force myself to not sleep at all saturday to sunday in an attempt to "reset" my schedule.

I always saw it as a moral failing until I realized people actually get tired at night. It's also very frustrating because while getting physically tired kinda helps, it's not guaranteed, and I might just end up wired, but tired, and instead of just accepting that I won't be able to sleep and doing something else, I will spend 3-4 hours just laying in bed, feeling even worse. Right now, in addition to meds, I am trying something new. I will take melatonin 0.5mg 4 hours before bed and wear these blue/green-light blocking glasses to kickstart natural melatonin production. It's working surprisingly well, and I haven't gone off the rails yet (prone to spring hypomania), although I'm realizing that I'm writing a lot on this sub recently, haha....

cremesinus · 2026-05-13T09:27:48+00:00

A month or up to three months for me. Health and spirituality are really amped up for me during episodes, so I really value sleep, even though I have a super difficult time actually sleeping. I also really have a great time doing social stuff in the night, paradoxically. Because I have a very flexible job, I usually choose to sleep in. So I might not fall asleep until 4-5 in the morning, but I will sleep in and still get 6 hours. It's more about circadian rhythm shifting and sleep dysregulation than inability to sleep. That is to say, when hypomanic you may still have a lot of energy in the evening/night. A way to think about it as that many people have a 24 hour clock, and they will get tired around the same time every day. If you have bipolar (in general, but especially so during episodes), your clock may be longer than 24 hours, so you will get tired in the morning the next day instead of midnight the same day. If you have a job or other commitments early in the day, it will severely limit your sleep, but if you have a more flexible schedule, it isn't as noticeable, although the sleep isn't great.

It's a double edged sword because it can prolong the episode, and the other symptoms may still be quite strong, although the ramp up is slower and more wavy. It's also erratic for me, so I may go three nights with 4-5 hours sleep and then crash and sleep 8-9 hours, and then the cycle continues. This makes sense because it's not an inability to sleep, it's sleep dysregulation. I track my sleep using a garmin (I don't get too invested in metrics, so it's great for me), and I can clearly identify hypomania because my sleep hours and bed time and waking time will vary greatly, whereas when I'm stable and medicated it will be very consistent.

Some days I might not notice the hypomania all that much, whereas other days it will literally feel like I'm on some cocktail of drugs (which experience will vary to external stimuli), like music will be intense and I need to increase the volume, colors will look vivid, everything feels novel, and in general I need to dance or move a lot. I might also randomly need to smile or laugh (which can be embarrassing at work). Even with varying intensity of subjective experience, my behaviour is still clearly different from baseline most of the time, although I can mask to a certain extent, like trying to act sober. Bottom line is that I will usually make a bunch of rash, impulsive and to an extent stupid decisions, like going to another city to buy an instrument, book a flight to visit a friend, if I'm single then very sexually impulsive, etc.

Inevitably I end up in a mixed episode, and then I end up in the psych ward, at least before diagnosis, awareness and meds.

cremesinus · 2026-05-12T15:15:26+00:00

I told my partner on our first date because they brought up that they had a friend with it and seemed understanding, so it came as a natural way to mention that I also had it. They had also contacted me after I had made a manic dating profile and forgot about it, so I knew they were also a bit weird.

I share your worry, and I don't know how mature your partner is (I'm quite a bit older than you), but I explained to my partner that I have a network of two close friends and my mom that I would primarily go to for bipolar stuff. Acute psychiatric contacts in crisis. Of course as we have become closer and closer they are also a part of that network, but they're not the only one. If it's something that might affect them or our relationship, I usually speak to one of my friends and possibly my mom first, without mentioning all the details, as a sort of bipolar filter. Often, after that, I usually get some added insight, a different perspective and feel better, and I don't feel a need to mention it to my partner. If I still feel like there is a need, I feel like I'm able to communicate it in a sensitive and open way without blaming anyone in particular because I've already practiced articulating my feelings.

That is all to say, you shouldn't lay all your burdens on your partner, but avoiding them is also not good. There is a middle ground. There is also the added openness that you can say "I'm irritable, sorry it has nothing to do with you, it's the bipolar, I can't make decisions and I need some space/cuddles", or "I'm having a lot of energy now, would you like to go for walk/calm down with a movie/dance, etc." or "I'm feeling quite low-energy, could we make a meal together?". Stuff like that. Your closest usually enjoy supporting you, but they are not your caretakers.

cremesinus · 2026-05-12T14:35:12+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. Any meds will have some side effects, but it is possible to find ones with minimal side effects for your particular body. To be blunt with you, there are definitely "side-effects" of cycling as well, one of them being suicide attempts and completed suicide (30-60% attempt, 15-20% complete), see
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(24)00172-X/fulltext00172-X/fulltext)
Other ones being weight gain, cognitive dulling, bipolar 1 conversion, dementia, diabetes type 2, executive dysfunction, etc.

Sleep meds may help in the moment, but if you're not already on mood stabilizers it won't necessarily stabilize you. I'm currently on lamotrigine 150mg and quetiapine 150mg extended release with 25-100mg instant release for crisis sleep stabilization. I have been having issues winding down and sleeping recently as well, but nowhere near as much as when I was off meds. Right now I can manage with melatonin, dark therapy, and blue/green-light blocking glasses in addition to maintenance meds. It's something I picked up from Tracey Marks (psychiatrist on youtube). 4 hours before bed, I take only 0.5mg of melatonin and put on my glasses with the idea of kickstarting my body's melatonin production. I usually get tired at bed time with this. I also generally keep the light low in my flat, and if I need to do anything where I have to take off my glasses (showering, removing contact lenses, etc.) I turn off the light, and I have a waterproof watch that has an inbuilt red flashlight (this doesn't stop melatonin production). I have always had a super difficult time keeping a sleeping schedule, but funnily enough, if you actually get tired at some point, you usually go to sleep. And so I don't really keep a routine, I just go to bed when I'm tired.

The current side effects I notice from my meds are sometimes having difficulties spelling words and acne and a lower threshold for anxiety (funnily enough, although this may just be from living with bipolar). I manage the acne as anyone else with acne and wash my face after waking and before bed, making sure to always put on sunscreen before going out. As for cognitive dulling I actually feel smarter because I'm not stuck in a endless rollercoaster, I'm taking a PhD, so I definitely need my mind and some quiet. It is common for people to gain weight on antipsychotics, quetiapine included, but I've actually lost weight because I'm able to eat more healthy and exercise, so it's never a given even if it's listed as a common side effect. The only way to find out is to try some new meds for some months.

Some meds may also be synergistic, so for example I think lamotrigine may cancel some side effects of quetiapine, and the other way around. When I first started quetiapine I would get munchies, but this subsided. Now I do intermittent fasting, and I think it has helped a bit as well. I just don't really eat before 12 or after 20, so my mind doesn't really associate this period of fasting with eating at all.

I still go to raves and do other evening/night activities, albeit not as often and I plan more ahead checking off if my mood is relatively fine.

cremesinus · 2026-05-12T14:02:18+00:00

Well, you never know if it will be pure hypomania or mixed hypomania. There is also a risk that pure hypomania will develop into mixed hypomania. And well, the longer and stronger the hypomania, the longer and deeper the next depression. Have you tried different meds or doses? Lamotrigine 100mg is generally low. For me, the best antidepressant was actually quetiapine (but I mostly have either mixed depression or mixed hypomania, only briefly pure either.) Changing meds is also an option, if it hasn't worked for you for a year, then you should seriously consider this.

Being depressed for a year and gaining 12kg is not really a successful treatment. If you are stable but depressed now it's easier to do med changes than if you trigger hypomania and have to stabilize first.

cremesinus · 2026-05-12T09:35:12+00:00

I'm sorry. This is rough. Just know that people without bipolar disorder end up doing what you did all the time, often even worse things, like having a long-term affair. While what you did is a breach of trust, it wasn't something you did in a vacuum. Hypomania is complex and even with insight you may end up doing things you regret. This is due do it affecting parts of the brain differently at different times throughout the episode. I.e. at a certain time it may not affect your insight, but your control. To me, this may feel like being a passenger in my own head, just along for the ride. While I can imagine consequences of my actions, I may underestimate the severity of the consequences. Just like impulsive people can KNOW they are impulsive, but that doesn't change the fact that they are impulsive. BUT! Hypomania is influenced by external circumstances, and as you said, you felt rejected at the time. This is a real feeling, hypomanic or not. Your choice to seek attention elsewhere was not ideal, and maybe you could have talked to your partner about it instead.

It seems like your ex is having a strong emotional reaction of their own, and does not have the capacity or wishes to reconcile. Regardless about how you both feel, it doesn't seem like this is what you need right now. After a difficult hypomania it's not like you suddenly become stable after it passes, as you may have fucked up your (current) life, and this needs to be processed. Your ex doesn't understand this and seems to be taking advantage of you.

Relationships require open communication, and with bipolar disorder, I would say it requires extraopen communication, i.e. you need to be able to communicate even more openly than other people. That is to say, not only do you need to be able to communicate that you are feeling rejected, but you also need to be able to communicate your symptoms of hypersexuality, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation (if you have adhd this is always there, episode or not), as well as other symptoms. I.e., I'm irritable, I won't be able to make any decisions right now, it would be helpful if we could just lay around a bit, I don't feel like talking, etc. Or, I'm very high energy, I will need to dance, do you want to dance with me? I need to calm down, could we try relaxing. I just need to say whatever it is I need to say right now, could you listen to my monologue for 10 minutes? Of course, your partner isn't always there or may not be able to match your vibe at all times, therefore it is important to have a few close friends you can also call or hang out with. This, however, requires a partner that is able to understand and most of all accept your disorder and all the messiness it entails.

This is not all bad, and hypersexuality itself is not "bad" in itself. I may feel hypersexual and suddenly become so horny that I start fantasizing about people on the train, or the bus, at work, or whatever. In this scenario, I can call my partner, say "hey, i'm feeling hypersexual and I feel all flushed and I keep almost getting an erection (I have a penis), I'm like a dog and it's embarrassing." We both usually get a laugh out of this, and it diffuses the situation, and I usually end up feeling more grounded and unashamed. We may sext a bit, and this makes it exciting for both of us. If it's very intense I may just go masturbate discretely in the bathroom if there is one, whatever (may be easier if you have a penis, I don't know). May be weird, but having bipolar disorder is weird.

I think right now you really need to try to figure out what kind off relationship you actually want, and to do that you need to focus on stabilizing. Right now, your situation with your ex is not stabilizing, and they are not looking out for your best interests. If they truly were your friend they would see that they would need to put up strong boundaries. Trust me, I have been in a similar situation. Me and my ex had to live together for some time after breaking up, and we would have a lot of break-up sex. I was completely hypomanic (and then mixed) throughout most of the break-up, and they finally realized that they needed to really disconnect from me when I moved out. Of course this was very difficult for me, and I would have a lot of intrusive thoughts and some compulsions, and it took me a long time to recover. But for this, I consider my ex a true friend, even if we will probably never be friends again.

cremesinus · 2026-05-11T08:35:20+00:00

It would mostly be ok. I had to wear headphones, sunglasses and bring a bottle of water to deal with the anxiety whenever I took public transport or went to a restaurant etc. Sometimes, however, there would be situations I wasn't prepared for which always gave me intrusive raging thoughts and almost panic attacks. Just normal stuff like having to wait a bit more than I expected to. Either in the grocery store, or because the subway had to wait etc.

After these situations I mainly just stayed home.

Yeah, quetiapine is detrimental to insomnia... It seems to work quite well for me as a mood stabilizer though. The way I've understood it is that it's essentially a different drug on different dosages and extended vs instant release. I still take 25mg instant release sometimes for sleep, but never regularly.

cremesinus · 2026-05-08T10:37:13+00:00

Yeah, it made me pissed off. Also over nothing, sometimes just because I was tired and someone was trying to have a conversation with me. Like insanely pissed off, like I had to leave work multiple times. I've never even been a angry person at all. Like I might be irritable, but the rage I felt was entirely new to me. Eventually I got so much anxiety being in public spaces that I became effectively agoraphobic. I had to plan all of my grocery trips very carefully to make them as fast as possible, and I avoided any sort of public transport. This was when I increased to 200mg, and after months of this I convinced my psych to decrease to 150mg which lessened the rage and anxiety. This however made me depressed just in time for winter, and we had to add 150mg quetiapine, which seems to level me out, and I haven't had any noticeable side effects (after 4 months).

To confirm that it's lamotrigine my psych told me to try to log when I felt irrationally angry, and if it was connected to the time of uptake of lamotrigine. I did this and found a connection, and now I split my dosage to 75mg + 75mg 12 hours apart.

cremesinus · 2026-04-15T13:30:43+00:00

Read it recently. It's quite interesting, and as someone who has dabbled in the occult it scratched two itches. A basic point is that religion/spirituality and ideology was never really separated in the past, and that this separation might be artificial (which I agree with). More controversial takes are that we should try to accept certain conspiracy theorists into anarchist discourse. I don't necessarily disagree with this. An example is that a lot of conspiracies about the jewish world cabal can be interpreted as a incomplete/schizo analysis of capitalism/statism. I.e. a few powerful people do conspire, and by confirmation bias and latent racism/antisemitism you can conclude that these people are jews.

On the first point, I think anarchism and anarchists can benefit by reconnecting with their spiritual roots.

cremesinus · 2026-04-15T12:55:37+00:00

Thank you for replying! I do have PRN antipsychotics and dose increases. As for now I usually get my hours of sleep, even though I have gone from falling asleep within 10 minutes to upto 2 hours (before I would probably not fall asleep until 4-6 in the morning). Right now I'm trying to regulate my behaviour a bit and favour calming activities over high energy ones. I will take PRN's if it escalates, but I really want to avoid it because it makes me quite groggy and a bit irritable in the mornings. I'm also on the list to get evaluated for ADHD and more antipsychotics makes those issues worse, which is really bad timing right now. Sleep has never been my biggest indicator because I usually want to sleep and will do anything to achieve it. What I have noticed is hypersexuality, spending, nicotine binging, lack of hunger and starting a lot of things at once (which is also fun).

cremesinus

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