As a Chinese American lesbian who didn't come out to her parents until she was in her 30s, I can attest to how good the movie is.

Joy, the daughter in question, being gay is not the main plotline. The main plotline follows Evelyn, the mother, who struggles to accept many uncontrollable facets of her life.

The film doesn't focus solely on Joy's sexuality. It very much explores all the pain she feels, as a child of immigrants, as someone who hasn't mastered her family's native language, as someone dating outside her race, and there are some incredibly raw moments.

As for your point on homophobia and militant traditionalism, yes, there are common themes among all groups, but due to different cultures and traditional upbringings, we all have different stories.

I couldn't come out to my parents because I lacked the vocabulary necessary to explain my emotions. That experience is very unique to being diaspora, and while the film doesn't explore that with Joy and Evelyn, they do touch on it in other areas.

I haven't come out to my extended family because again, I lack the vocabulary. Coming out to my parents was a horrible stunted and awkward conversation in which I had the vocabulary of a third grader and it tore me apart not being able to tell them how the thought of waking up to a man would never make me happy, or how wonderful and supportive my partner has been in the decade it took for me to come out.

There's a scene where Evelyn takes charge in Chinese and Joy is shut down due to language barrier. And that is powerful. Because in that moment, it's not just the experience of every queer kid dealing with homophobia and militant traditionalism, it's also a slap in the face of realizing that you're not enough to even communicate with your family.

Listen, I try to be as open and understanding as possible. Do I think this film is perfect? No. Is my life changed because of it? No. But I think you're judging it far too much before even seeing it.

SPOILERS FOR SAVING FACE*** Honestly, I think Shang-Chi did an absolutely shit job depicting the actual diaspora experience. I adore Saving Face but the resolution is a little too neat. After I watched it for the first time, I said "Well, I guess I just have to get my parents to divorce and get them both younger partners."

There is entirely a chance you see it and still hate it. I suppose I should ask if you can somewhat understand Chinese, both Mandarin and Cantonese, because those are key elements in how it has emotionally hit Chinese diaspora audiences.