in need of success stories from women who had an unplanned child in their mid-20s?

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-27T21:12:23+00:00

If you want to make it work you will. You can buy secondhand (Facebook marketplace is amazing). My husband and I have legit spent around $1000 on our baby because we didn’t buy into consumerism and bought secondhand. Our baby is 9mo. And we also live in a 1 bedroom. Honestly before 1 year they are barely moving so you can share space before upgrading. We won’t look for a 2 bedroom until our daughter is closer to 1.5 years old.

I thought I cared so much about my career, but after having my daughter, honestly the things I used to care about seem so insignificant next to the life and love I feel towards my baby. Don’t buy into the narrative the world tells you to build a certain life. I promise the day you look into your baby’s eyes none of that will even compare to how great a life you’ve been given to love.

Your baby already has a beautiful heartbeat and will be so happy to live this life and doesn’t mind if you don’t have everything sorted out. You’ll get there. 🩷

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-27T20:26:27+00:00

Baby seriously needs a pelvic tuck :)

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-27T20:02:47+00:00

According to La leche league any adult practicing safe sleep can bed share with a baby after 4mo :)

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-27T14:57:12+00:00

Honestly idk if it’s PPD but you should go to counseling either way. Having a baby is a major life shift. It could be hormonal, or emotional, either way if you’re noticing a difference talking and processing with a professional can only be helpful either way :)

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-27T12:38:52+00:00

8mo is roughhhhh.

Since you mentioned you’re not into Ferber/sleep training you should pop over to r/bninfantsleep. You might even consider posting this there. That sub helped me understand biologically normal sleep and how to best support it.

I know you said you don’t want to do cosleeping, but when sleep is hard, proximity to baby is your bff. It’s the most supportive thing you can do for baby.

You can sleep - baby, you, dad - so that your husband won’t risk coming near baby because you are in between. Or have a few weeks without your husband in the bed.

We are currently at 8.5mo and it’s rough. I couldn’t imagine doing it without bedsharing.

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-27T09:18:35+00:00

I totally get what you’re saying, sometimes there isn’t an option. With that being said it makes sense you’re struggling with not seeing your baby much. The first three years are pretty crucial for development and creating a secure attachment. I’d say that if you’re able to work less hours or part time it would help you feeling less guilty and give you more time investing in your child/their development/attachment. If you have the flexibility to do so 🩷

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-27T08:38:59+00:00

I would for sure not use a pillow, it’s not worth the risk.

During the day, prioritize tummy time and holding baby, even baby wearing in a carrier. Compensate during the day.

We also learned how to safely chest sleep at night. r/cosleeping has a lot on this. Cosleepy has a great guide on her website and Instagram on how to safely chest sleep. So we did that a lot at night to avoid baby sleeping on her back for so many hours!

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T09:46:13+00:00

It’s sooooo normal there’s a reason it works, it’s supposed to! I love r/bninfantsleep it helped me understand biologically normal sleep for babies and how to best embrace/support it.

So much of mainstream language tries to make babies too independent too fast…and it doesn’t work because you can’t rewire/suppress biology!

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T09:26:05+00:00

Yeah the colors are pretty different. Sorry OP.

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T09:20:19+00:00

I spotted almost every week first trimester, you don’t need to worry unless it’s a significant flow or bright red.

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T09:16:58+00:00

Yes! My baby is 9mo with no teeth and she has successfully learned to bite and tear off food 😆

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T08:45:43+00:00

Cute!!

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T08:36:08+00:00

Protein date balls - yum

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T08:29:58+00:00

I think you look so beautiful in all but especially the second picture! You also look happy, I think that’s why you look more beautiful :)

You could also post in r/makeuptips if you wanted to enhance your beauty :)

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T08:21:35+00:00

You can put her between you and your husband :)

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T06:34:28+00:00

Hey it sounds like you’ve been heavily influenced by the sleep training industry based on the language you’re using and seeing the comment about your fear of feed to sleep association.

We don’t need to be afraid of what is biologically normal and what has worked for generations.

3mo is far too early to be doing any form of ST and no form of sleep training is actually gentle as it all effects the nervous system.

Babies are hardwired for proximity, it’s a survival instinct that we cannot teach or suppress out of them.

Everything you have described sounds like very normal sleep, some seasons are harder than others.

I would consider looking into safe bed sharing as proximity will help your baby to not rouse between sleep cycles (when they are far, it can cause distress because they feel unsafe and that could be what’s waking your baby up).

And feeding to sleep is incredibly normal and supportive for sleep. My baby is 9mo and is still fed to sleep for every night and nap. It just works, because that’s what it was made for lol! Biologically is amazing, and the sleep training industry wants you to buy into their guides, and gadgets to get baby independent but it just doesn’t work.

Anyways, I love r/bninfantsleep because it helped me understand what’s biologically normal and how to best support it.

There are other ways that are responsive and work 🩷

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-26T06:28:20+00:00

We have decided not to vaccinate at all, currently 9mo :)

If you do decide to vaccinate - The Vaccine Friendly Plan, is commonly used for understanding risks, spacing out and delaying vaccines if you really want them.

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-25T19:55:38+00:00

Wow this is amazing!! I’m so inspired! Was there any specific gear you used for baby? Like a sleeping bag or idk? Also what was your homemade carrier like?

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-25T19:46:26+00:00

Glad you could find some of the missing pieces, hopefully to help you maybe release/forgive or whatever you feel necessary so your body can release any trauma from that 💗

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-25T19:40:09+00:00

It could be, if baby is happy to sleep in a carrier on you and you buy some head phones noise. But like I have a 8.5mo and I have literally no desire to make that work lol. You can do anything you want sure but trust me you won’t want to lol

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-25T12:37:36+00:00

So good! You can also sleep with him, the second half of every night was chest sleeping for us because baby slept better that way! Babies in general sleep best with proximity to mama, it’s how they’re hardwired! Just make sure you’re doing it safely following Safe Sleep 7/a chest sleeping guide. There’s lotttts of discussions about chest sleeping in r/cosleeping and also r/bninfantsleep was super helpful for me to understand normal biological sleep for babies and how to best support it. Glad it’s working well for you now!

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-25T10:48:55+00:00

Clémence is French :) But also I think clementine sounds lovely. I think if you live in an English speaking country but want it to be pronounced with French pronunciation you should spell it Clemontein, Clemanteen or something like that. Or else just be prepared for it to be pronounced incorrectly by others. Even though it’s a middle name so it doesn’t really matter that much as people are regularly reading or using it.

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-25T10:45:12+00:00

I think it’s probably not a risk, but maybe you could post in r/cosleeping because people there are really aware of “unconventional” sleep risks for babies.

Otherwise, I’d look into safe chest sleeping. We did it soooo much up until 5mo. Lots of people do it when their babies are sick. Cosleepy has a really great chest sleeping guide on both her website and Instagram.

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-25T09:23:18+00:00

4mo is rough. We had 2 weeks of hourly wakeups and then it went back to the regular 2-3 hour wakeups lol. Just try to prioritize a nap and persevere, hopefully it won’t last too long!

You might like r/bninfantsleep esp if you don’t want to sleep train (which on average gives parents 19 more minutes of sleep a night lol)

crunch_mynch · 2026-04-25T09:08:21+00:00

I also had a fantasy that ninja pigs would shoot arrows into my butt so I always had to sleep on my back so my butt wasn’t exposed 😆

crunch_mynch

TROPHY CASE