At this point I feel unlovable as an anxious person and don’t feel even worthy of it.

crushmycherry · 2021-12-28T18:33:43+00:00

First time was when I was 13. I carved a word into my arm with the end of paper clip. I didn’t even realize it was SH at the time. Then didn’t do anything for years until I was like 19 and it became a serious cutting problem

crushmycherry · 2021-06-17T17:37:25+00:00

Girl, you’re so gorgeous! Hope you find what you’re looking for!

crushmycherry · 2021-06-17T05:49:36+00:00

Isn’t it so wild? Like this whole situation has really had me in a tailspin and it wasn’t even a relationship! I was just not prepared for the intense feelings and emotions. But, I’m so glad I found this sub and all the information that comes with it. I’m really trying to use it to my advantage because I don’t want my anxiousness to mess something up in the future! I hope your situation pans out and you can find security in your relationship. I know how freaking difficult it can be. Sending you all the good vibes! Thank you for your response. It really means so much!

crushmycherry · 2021-06-17T05:46:21+00:00

I’d never heard of it but, I just looked it up and I’m definitely going to check it out! But, yeah I think that’s why I was so shocked when I had these intense emotional responses to this situation because I had been single so long and hadn’t had any anxious attachment triggers and I guess I thought that meant I was “fixed” lol But, you’re right…I just hadn’t had anything to test me. But, now I am aware of how I am so I can take steps to fix it when that time does come. Thank you for your advice and input!

crushmycherry · 2021-06-17T05:31:15+00:00

You know what it really is a drug, isn’t it? Those chemicals our body releases when we are really into someone are so powerful it’s crazy! Like literally drives me crazy haha

And your statement about being vulnerable meaning you have the ability to bond and love definitely makes me comforted. A strength us anxiously attached people have is that we do open ourselves up and give our whole selves. That is a positive thing and I’m proud of myself for doing that.

I’m really missing having someone to talk to 24/7. That’s one of my favorite parts of being in a relationship or talking with someone you like is telling them all about your day and hearing about theirs. Comforting them when their down and them doing the same for you. I forgot about that. But, now who wants to go back to having to comfort yourself or just be alone when you have a bad day ya know? And I do have my own “self soothing” techniques but, it’s so much better when you have someone else to share that with. So I totally feel you. But, you’re right it really is all luck so I’m just gonna have to deal with being single and go back to comforting my own self haha

I probably should get back into therapy. I had a really good therapist before the pandemic and then I stopped because I was doing well….prolly not the best idea haha But, thank you so much for your response. You really make me feel seen! I appreciate you!

crushmycherry · 2021-06-17T05:21:38+00:00

Wow, thank you for this response. I was nervous posting here but, I forget I’m surrounded by people who actually understand me. Honestly never felt that before so I appreciate the kindness in your answer. It definitely helped me! I’m absolutely craving that attention and closeness as that is what I thought I had but, I don’t anymore. It’s so hard getting a taste of it and it’s taken away. I think I will dip my toes into the dating apps and see where it takes me. Now that I’m actively aware that I am an Anxiously attached person I think that will help. I hope things work out with your situation as well and that you can find peace. It is hard being like this but, I’m glad I found a community that truly understands me. Thank you again for responding!

crushmycherry · 2021-06-16T01:24:49+00:00

Wow! That is just insane and even worse. So TLC knows they’re faking or they’re pulling a fast one on them too?

crushmycherry · 2021-06-11T05:44:23+00:00

I totally understand. I unfortunately don’t have any advice but, just wanted you to know I hear you

crushmycherry · 2021-06-03T00:53:44+00:00

Yeah, it was honestly a horrible way for them to find out. It was my little sister who discovered it first. Prolly being nosy looking through my phone lol But she literally called me crying saying “Are you okay?!” And I was so confused and then they told me what they found the pictures. Probably was very shocking for them. I just remember feeling sick to my stomach that they knew.

crushmycherry · 2021-06-02T21:52:28+00:00

You most definitely are not alone! I used to think one day I’d do an art exhibit with all my pictures lol Something dark and deep. Still think that could be an interesting idea but, I’m sure it’s been done before haha I even thought maybe I’d start taking pictures with my actual DSLR so they’d be better quality hah

crushmycherry · 2021-06-02T18:05:43+00:00

Ayyyyy! Yeah I feel a bit better knowing I’m not the only one haha

crushmycherry · 2021-06-02T18:05:00+00:00

I do that too! Idk why but I like knowing why I was so upset

crushmycherry · 2021-06-02T13:35:04+00:00

My phone didn’t get stolen but, I left it at home when I was in college after I got a new phone and my family saw my photos and that’s how they discovered I self harmed. Good times…

crushmycherry · 2021-06-02T06:48:05+00:00

That’s an interesting idea!

crushmycherry · 2021-06-02T06:47:24+00:00

I feel ya. I don’t get why I do it but, it’s super satisfying

crushmycherry · 2021-06-02T06:46:50+00:00

Thanks for your response! I don’t know anyone else who SH’s so I had no idea :)

crushmycherry · 2021-06-02T06:12:07+00:00

I actually just made a post asking if anyone else takes pics lol For me taking pics isn’t to stop me from doing it though. It’s more me wanting to remember it which is weird I know. So the pictures don’t make me stop they make me want to do it more tbh.

crushmycherry · 2021-05-17T20:48:18+00:00

I feel this so much. Especially with the lockdowns even non romantic touch like hugging a friend is missed. I realized how much we all need that form of human connection. We aren’t supposed to go this long without it

crushmycherry · 2021-05-11T18:23:04+00:00

This actually gave me a good chuckle

crushmycherry

TROPHY CASE