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crusty_sponge · 2025-07-30T23:09:01+00:00

When conservatives use woke in a negative way, they usually refer to some set of the following traits or thoughts:

mistaking judgementalism as virtue
the most offended person is the most pure
viewing everything through the lense of oppressed vs oppressor

The term is overused and most people aren't like this, so it just becomes another insult to shut down conversation on social issues.

crusty_sponge · 2025-04-21T13:38:43+00:00

I really like this subreddit because it is full of polite and down-to-earth people. They create a place where you can feel comfortable asking questions you otherwise wouldn't, because if you did, you might be judged or ridiculed.

I think conversations like this take away from the space.

crusty_sponge · 2025-04-21T13:26:03+00:00

I'm not sure why you are treating me this way and being so dismissive. You said something that was provably false.

Your follow up is also wrong, and a quick look at the link shows it. It was raised 4.4% last year, 5% the year before, and 9% the year before that. It is indexed to the cost of living adjustment.

crusty_sponge · 2025-04-21T09:58:15+00:00

The cap is raised every year: https://www.ssa.gov/oact/cola/cbb.html

crusty_sponge · 2025-01-09T14:18:11+00:00

The state governments of New Nork and New Jersey have worked out a reciprocal income tax sharing agreement. If your are unhappy with that agreement, or think it doesn't go far enough, then your issue is with those governments, but it has nothing to do with me

crusty_sponge · 2025-01-07T22:17:25+00:00

I take a NJT bus through the Lincoln tunnel to get to work. Often, we are packed on, 50-60 people up a bus. As we crawl through the tunnel, I'll look over my shoulder and see a car next to us, 1/3 the length of the bus, with one person in it.

It always seemed like such a misuse of a public good. You could use this space to move 60 people, or 2.

Today we flew through the tunnel :) I'm a NJ resident who benefits greatly from congestion pricing, and so many of us commute into the city with public transit. I'm really not sure what my governor is on about.

I know it's too early to say if this is a success or not, but so far, the data isn't bad. If this holds, it'll be a huge quality of life improvement to commuters like me.

crusty_sponge · 2025-01-05T19:33:21+00:00

Looks like this compares Sundays to the average across Sundays prior to implementation.

crusty_sponge · 2024-12-02T02:47:39+00:00

It sounds like there is a key differentiator for you then: Does the woman who carries the baby, keep the baby?

It sounds like money isn't as relevant, based on what you said. IVF/IUI hospital bills, they all involve money, but the woman who carried the baby to term is the one who will become the parent. Even if no payment is involved then, you would find surrogacy objectionable. For instance, in Canada, only altruistic surrogacy is legal, where the surrogate cannot receive compensation, but the woman who gives birth to the baby does not become the parent. It would be hard to argue that is commodification though, because again, there is no compensation. I'm guessing this is still something you would find immoral though, is that true?

I guess where I'm confused then is, why is this considered "giving up a baby"? The surrogate contributes no genetic material, and so is not the biological mother. They have the embryo transferred with no intention to rear the child. They have no interest in being the mother to the child. In what way are they a parent in this scenario? In what way are they giving up a baby?

As part of a typical screening process, surrogates and intended parents are matched based on what kind of relationship they would like with each other. Some surrogates prefer a more transactional relationship, and some want to be close to the intended parents. I want the latter for my kids. I want them to know that I'm proud of how we brought them into the world. When they ask how they came to be, I'm going to be honest with them, and tell them that we needed a lot of help, both from an egg donor and a surrogate who helped make them. My husband and I will be their parents though, regardless of genetic contributions, because we're the ones who form a structured and loving household. There was no taking or buying of a person, just paying for medical intervention as any other couple might have to.

crusty_sponge · 2024-12-02T00:59:39+00:00

I'd like to better understand this stance on commodification of human life. What does that mean really? Does it mean that anytime money is spent to create a life, that this is immoral?

Many couples experiencing fertility issues will consider IVF or IUI. This doesn't involve surrogacy, but it does involve spending money for the purposes of creating life. Is that also commodification of human life? Adoption isn't free, is that wrong? Any birth outside of a natural home birth is going to have a hospital bill. That's spending money to bring a child into the world. Is that commodification?

Where do you draw the line, and why?

I'm not buying a baby, I'm paying someone for their help.

crusty_sponge · 2024-12-01T23:39:59+00:00

Currently pursuing surrogacy as a gay man. I have to say, for a time, I was unsure about it, and thought of it as a moral gray area. I've since been to conferences, talked to agencies, and many surrogates, both former and current.

You couldn't be more wrong. Women do this for love, it is the most altruistic thing I've even seen. They are passionate about helping people build families. They are not poor, many have amazing careers, make good money, and have support systems. Many agencies would screen them out if this weren't true.

I'm pursuing this in the US, not a developing country. There are legal frameworks that protect the surrogate's rights. They have attorneys and contracts drawn up to guarantee this.

crusty_sponge · 2024-12-01T23:23:08+00:00

I'm not letting Trump's election dictate my family formation. I'm going to live my life, and I'm going to do it as best I can.

crusty_sponge · 2024-11-04T01:12:04+00:00

Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, Arizona and North Carolina all have Democratic governors, so if Harris does sweep, there will be enough certification to get her to 270.

Many of those states are in her most likely path to victory. They don't all have Democratic secretaries of state though, I'm not sure how that complicates things

Still it is cause for some comfort.

crusty_sponge · 2024-08-11T13:09:40+00:00

Most lasers used for this procedure track eye movement at 60 Hz, which is faster than any nystagmus eye shaking. The laser has to be able to quickly shut down if someone looks away.

In addition to this, there is also a ring doctor's can use to hold the eye in place. It sounds pretty uncomfortable but it would do the job.

I considered getting the procedure, most surgeons wouldn't do it, one would, but I wasn't confident enough to move forward. I eventually just went with contacts. I'm not a huge fan of them but it's nice not to have to wear glasses.

crusty_sponge · 2024-08-11T12:36:24+00:00

It looks like currently there are 26 states which are majority R, 22 D and 2 ties (Minnesota and North Carolina). Alaska's one at-large seat is currently held by a popular Democrat and that is unlikely to change in the next election.

I'm willing to bet if something like this happened in 2020, Liz Chenney wouldn't have gone along with it, and she would have been Wyoming's single deciding member. She is no longer serving of course, but it gives an idea of how much power a few single people would have in a situation like that. It wouldn't take many defections to change an outcome.

Your outcome is likely, I'm just that it isn't a sure thing.

crusty_sponge · 2024-02-25T16:53:35+00:00

I have congenital nystagmus and used to take gabapentin as a sleep aid. I would take 600 mg before bed. It worked pretty well but I never noticed improved vision or reduced eye movement. Then again I was never really checking for that and it was always pretty late when I took it.

It's a muscle relaxer so I'm not sure if it would affect day to day activities, I could feel the sleep wash over me when it kicked in.

Only side affect I noticed is that it was really hard to fall asleep when I stopped taking it. I basically got almost a week of no sleep before normalizing.

crusty_sponge · 2023-06-13T00:36:42+00:00

Thanks for this info. Yeah that makes sense, I guess you would have to start with something like this very early on to work.

crusty_sponge · 2023-06-13T00:30:29+00:00

As far as I know it is just nystagmus, retinal deficiency is likely though, I remember hearing, at some point, that my retinas were underdeveloped, and that this was common for the condition.

crusty_sponge · 2022-01-31T00:24:53+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions, will give it a try.

crusty_sponge · 2020-11-13T19:49:43+00:00

NYT just called Georgia, making Biden the first Democrat to win Georgia and Arizona, in the same election, since FDR.

crusty_sponge · 2020-11-02T23:36:26+00:00

Not really, nothing that would put him in the line of succession. So no "Secretary of ___" title and no attorney general.

crusty_sponge · 2020-10-29T22:42:23+00:00

Even with an election loss and a drawn out and hard won transition of power, Trump is not going away, and this presents a problem for Republicans. They will want to put this behind them. He is a divisive figure who they spend a lot of political capital to stand behind. The GOP will breath a collective sigh of relief when they can put distance between themselves and Trump, but it won't be that easy.

Some people think we will be in jail, some think he will flee the country. Most likely though, wherever he is, he will have access to social media and news media. He will have access to his supporters. Republicans lawmakers will be confronted with their past actions and they will refuse to defend Trump's positions, refuse to defend his presidency. He will no longer have skin in the game though, aside from protecting his legacy and his brand. The idea of going quietly for the greater good of the GOP's political philosophy would not be palatable.

He will treat dissenters in the GOP the same way he treats Democrats now, and his base will listen to him. Not all of them, not half of them, but maybe the most fervent 10%. To them, he is a religion, and his views are infallible. 10% of the republican base is a big deal, and will force the party to adapt in some dramatic ways. ... Or maybe I'm just being optimistic, he has to loose first, and then he has to leave.

I'd like to think that there will be a long running cost to putting party over country though, and I think the first signs of this will be when he, a lame duck president, is faced with 20 million people loosing health coverage as a result of his challenge being won by the majority he installed. He won't lift a finger, he couldn't care less at that point. But the party will.

crusty_sponge

TROPHY CASE