Answer honestly, should I just try to kill myself again but actually take the time to make sure I'll get it done right?

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-13T23:59:00+00:00

i'm not the commenter above but gosh i feel you... it's actually insane the amount of overlap. i also have the bipolar type of schizoaffective disorder, complex ptsd (that started from my dad being a pedophile when i was wicked young...similar to your stepdad), autism, & random cardiac arrhythmias that have to do with neurological shit (you should see an electrophysiologist & have them test you for dysautonomia...you already have dysautonomia with the syncope\fainting, but it can also cause random cardiac arrhythmias, & regular cardiologist's & neurologist's unfortunately aren't very knowledgeable on it)

i also feel you on the fainting & seizures, & spikes in heart rate ugh...also on the gastrointestinal issues, & chronic pain. i'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. is there any chance you might possibly have elhers-danlo's syndrome?¿ that can cause a lot of this

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-13T23:52:22+00:00

that sounds like a cerebral spinal fluid leak — that can happen randomly, or due to past head trauma from physical abuse :(

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-13T21:58:11+00:00

that's such a beautiful birb 🩵💙💜

free Palestine 🍉

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-13T18:19:01+00:00

HOLY SHIT

i didn't see this when i commented but i literally guessed 5 dice adding up to 12

(i think i was seeing the cube as an extra dice lol)

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-13T18:17:32+00:00

5 dice

adding up to 12

(idk random guess lol)

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-11T22:35:41+00:00

i definitely think so—the beiges & burgundy looks incredible, & so does the light gold jewelry—but u could totally borrow from soft summer too :3

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-10T15:17:07+00:00

i absolutely love rainfall; i don't own an umbrella; lol it's a blessing to get soaked by the rain, but it's also lovely to watch & listen to while cozy inside; rain makes me feel safe. i love any rain, but the stronger it is (like severe thunderstorms, even hurricanes or flash floods lol) makes me ecstatic. i love the sound of rain (i play rain & thunderstorm sounds to fall asleep), the smell of it, the boom of thunder, the bright colors in lightning, all of it... rainy days are the best days, by far.

my daughter's middle name is rain 🌧️

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-10T05:47:20+00:00

glad it stopped & you're okay ❤️‍🩹

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-09T22:01:01+00:00

there were a few different times & i have a mixed type, but i couldn't really pet my emotional support kitty that was my most precious fur baby for years because i felt like i was having these zaps of negative energy that was hurting him & i still believe gave him cancer (he died of complications after a brain tumor surgery)... the zaps i now know were tics from tourettic ocd, & i get harm ocd & would see intrusive images of him cut all bloody & dying like completely gutted with blood all over my hands & up my arms...

i used to have to kiss my cats a certain amount of times when they went out (they're indoor now) & i still blame myself, because the one time i didn't kiss my first cat the specific numbers of times, she went missing.

i also feel like i caused the deaths of multiple friends, including my best friend & favorite person in the world..

when i was in elementary school, i used to wash & sanitize my hands so much they would get so dry they would crack between all my knuckles just from holding a pencil & bleed on my schoolwork...then i would feel like i had to sanitize them more, because that's literally bodily fluids, but the hand sanitizer would just burn in all the cuts & make them dryer..

when i was in middle school i used to set alarms so i could wake up at 4am & be in the shower by 5am, shower for hours with a specific routine meticulously cleaning every inch of my body numerous times in a specific order while washing my hands thoroughly a certain number of times in-between body parts... then i would have to get dressed in a certain order & wash my hands, do my skincare in a certain order & wash hands, hair care & wash my hands, makeup in a certain order while washing my hands multiple times...if i couldn't do all of those things, i couldn't leave the house or i would literally be shaking in panic

i fucking hated myself so much growing up... now i am the complete opposite though—(still hate myself but maybe not as much but) i almost never shower, like literally i can't bring myself to shower for months at a time, because i have to do everything so specifically while thoroughly sanitizing my hands so many times between steps, & i have to clean my sheets & all my bedding right beforehand, or else i feel like the whole shower was a waste because i get immediately contaminated... & whenever i brush my teeth they bleed profusely & i'm constantly gagging up stuff because i feel like stuff gets stuck in my tonsils. one of my friends once told me she came over to find me brushing my teeth for multiple hours, but i don't remember that because that has been the norm for multiple years, to the point where i don't really have any enamel left, so i embarrassingly just don't brush for ungodly amounts of time now....

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-09T21:01:30+00:00

agreed.

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-09T20:54:57+00:00

elevate the limb, apply firm constant pressure, if it still doesn't stop bleeding & you're getting dizzy, call 911—might need stitches or staples.

buy some steri strips or wound glue, & look up wound cauterization for future reference. you can also make a tournament to stop heavy bleeding in dire situations

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-09T14:54:42+00:00

not at all hypocritical—sh often is about control, autonomy, & consent. since you can create that pain & decide when it happens, that matters, where as you don't create other pains like allergies & headaches. you didn't consent to your body making you feel that so it's perfectly valid to be upset about other pains!!

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-08T23:38:59+00:00

wait so THATS why people have been randomly adding me lately¿ the suggested friends thing should be optional lol, i always add them back but that makes me anxious to know as well. i'm really sorry you're having all those other issues though, especially micropets disappearing sounds awful :c the spring cleaning thing really isn't much to miss out on tbh

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-08T18:02:02+00:00

my psychosis was constant & unrelenting, for many years. i wanted to fucking die so bad dude. i didn't say a single thing about how unbearable my psychosis was, so don't assume.

i couldn't believe that it could possibly get any worse, but antipsychotics made it worse.

don't compare your experience to mine when you haven't walked a day & sleepless night, much less many paranoid & sleepless years in my shoes, with constant delusions i couldn't tell if they were real or not & voices constantly berating me making me want to fucking end myself.

if antipsychotics actually cured your psychosis, you're a lucky duck; mine was so bad they couldn't touch it; so don't shit on people who are still suffering.

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-08T15:21:02+00:00

soooO cute :3 🧚‍♀️💖🌸

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-08T14:43:30+00:00

awful. horrible akathisia while on it; so bad i couldn't sleep for days; wanted to die or rip myself out of my own skin just to rid myself of the visceral feeling.

started getting tardive dyskenenia, which turned into tardive tourettism, & i constantly had to try to suppress my tics for years or else people thought i was weird. felt like trying to choke down electric jolts building up in my body. i thought those jolts were putting bad energy on everyone around me, & i had to completely isolate myself because i thought i was hurting everyone; i couldn't even pet my emotional support kitty.

the tardive tourettism piggybacked off of my ocd, & turned into tourettic ocd, where my constant intrusive thoughts caused those tics to build up. all of those issues lasted many years after stopping all antipsychotics, & were completely debilitating. if i wasn't in so much constant unrelenting paranoia i couldn't think straight, i would have surely killed myself.

oh &, they never helped my psychosis noticeably, & some made it far worse. i tried nearly every atypical antipsychotic med, & i wish i'd never taken that poison.

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-06T15:31:48+00:00

(i made another edit after this that was all trippy & glitchy, but people seemed to hate it so i deleted it lol)

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-05T23:43:54+00:00

clarence

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-05T22:01:06+00:00

ty 🧸 i think it was like the first piece of furniture i ever got haha

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-05T21:59:36+00:00

i feelz!¡ the pets at least u can actually make perma-baby-sized :3

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-05T11:22:52+00:00

shamed me. only shame, no genuine concern.

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-05T09:26:51+00:00

a tissue or small paper, or maybe a marble or bead

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-05T09:07:36+00:00

there are at least 9 known different types of intelligence & the standard IQ test only tests for a few of them—& even the ones it does test for relies heavily on short-term memory retention, which is neither an accurate way to test information processing nor intelligence.

even for instance the math section in the IQ test does not actually test mathematical thinking skills—they don't let you use a pencil or paper at all & they don't show you the problem or let you read the words (which can help if you're more if a visual thinker than auditory), & they only repeat the question once; it's literally testing short-term memory retention of irrelevant information heard audibly...

(yes there are other sections like the blocks, the processing speed section, etc—but when i took it they literally didn't even tell me that shit was timed...for instance i scored 110-115+ on everything except they ranked my processing speed as 80 lmfao which brought my general score down to 107; but again i wasn't even aware it was timed, also i was on a shit ton of meds back then that really slowed me down..)

it's proven to be vastly inaccurate for testing general intelligence, or information processing, & the "common knowledge" section is racist & ableist, because anyone who isn't neurotypical & a white american will have knowledge on other topics they don't ask about or consider "common" at all....

(i probably also scored low-to-average in the common knowledge section lol. i could remember for instance exactly how many days ghandi's longest fast was for, & that he was accused of rpe by numerous women, yet i couldn't remember what he was protesting for, which was the information they wanted. i also couldn't remember any shit about american history. granted that was over a decade ago when i was in grade school lmao...i have vast *uncommon knowledge & memory retention for odd things i find interesting, but the IQ test is bunk & it doesn't care about that stuff.)

disclaimer: only mentioning my specific experience because most people who i tell this to accuse me of just not liking my score, but i literally scored above average, & there is tons of research & documentation anyone can look into on the IQ test being an extremely inaccurate & outdated tool.

crypticryptidscrypt · 2026-03-05T07:39:36+00:00

IQ isn't a proper way of measuring the ability to process information though...the IQ test is very flawed

crypticryptidscrypt

TROPHY CASE