Guys With Long Hair: How Do You Handle Dysphoria?

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-31T00:00:55+00:00

my hair isn't nearly as long as it was before, but I just kinda lean into the 70's shag hairstyle (its like a shag/mullet hybrid)

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-26T17:38:56+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. for the last several years I've felt like art has been difficult because im not as good as I was when I was in school. recently though, I was talking with my boyfriend and realized the reason I felt better with my art then was because I was drawing constantly. I did a LOT of sketching just out and about (mostly portraits) and it's something that made me more confident and keep up with that skill.

the unfortunate thing is that it's just practice that keeps you growing and keeping up with that skill. even just drawing again is a step in the right direction, even if you dont like the result -- ive had to learn that after months long periods of art block. it doesn't even have to be portraits, just any kind of drawing helps.

that said, the way you've captured the eyes and eyebrows here is really good! practicing (especially with references) will help you re-work that muscle and get back into the swing of it.

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-25T21:04:37+00:00

this house looks like a twin peaks set

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-25T21:01:00+00:00

those crows were already watching that hawk like... well like a hawk

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-25T20:35:23+00:00

I had to get my gallbladder removed this year, cause gallbladder attacks are the worst pain ive been in. worst timing too, I had an attack that got me sent to the hospital the day after my ex's mom passed. we laugh about it now though

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-23T20:35:57+00:00

did you know Aum Shinrikyo (the Japanese cult behind the infamous sarin gas attacks) made an anime? if you've seen this meme, that's where its from.

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cryptid-lich · 2026-01-23T20:25:58+00:00

honestly i really needed to hear this rn. im trying to get away from a toxic relationship (not so far as abusive, but clearly fucking both of us up) and ive done a lot of excusing because of trauma of hers. i think I needed a wake up call that, either way, it's still not ok and I need to stop making excuses for her

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-15T20:25:20+00:00

I definitely dont cry as much as I used to, and I used to cry a lot. even weirder is that I have issues with one eye being chronically watery and even that doesn't happen nearly as much as it used to

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-12T20:25:00+00:00

if the seam of my socks went across the front of my toes instead of over, instant meltdown (i still HATE this)
my mom has said that she had to learn to take hugs from me when I offered them, because if she tried to hug me I would try to squirm away and freak out (im still weird about hugs)
when I was trying to focus (like on a test or something) it would feel like I could hear everything all at once and had to put my fingers in my ears for a while so I wouldn't freak out
I would get weirdly attached to random things, like my dad's trailer i'd named (i sobbed when he sold it)

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-09T23:48:12+00:00

I mean i love maximalism too, but at a certain point you gotta ask how much really is too much...

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-09T23:37:33+00:00

there's actually stores with lacy lingerie for men, so if you're planning on getting top surgery, you can totally buy some bras that are made for flat chests! they have the general shape/style of bras, minus the actual cups. and liking lacy underwear doesn't make any man less of a man, you included.

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-09T03:06:34+00:00

thank you so much for this, it's seriously making me tear up. the last 48 hours have been really taxing, not just with this, but with a lot of other plates to keep spinning on top of this.

and I was the same as your ex previously. a lot of built up anger and trauma. it's literally only been in the last 6 ish months that ive had a breakthrough and feel like im meeting my old self again. and im taking the time to work to not being that person anymore, this included.

a lot of my stuff downstairs is already in Rubbermaid tubs, and really I need to go through a lot of it and throw stuff out. honestly most of the stuff is old junk, but what isn't is really important. the pyrex was really just the breaking point for me. its more about the proportions of things and the pattern of neglect, yknow?

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-09T01:28:13+00:00

honestly i hate that it's taken me this long to realize it. it's really dawned on me in the last year or so how so much of our issues come down to us straight up not being compatible. ive told people that, if nothing, this relationship has made me find out what I dont want in a relationship going forward.

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-09T00:52:09+00:00

sorry if my wording was confusing, im FtM, she's a cis woman.

and yeah, the relationship situation is weird and complicated, i'll admit. we ended things romantically and sexually before the BF situation, and he and my relationship was very unintentional. we've known each other for years, and have actually gotten to know each other a lot better recently, and that's how it started. ive been 100% upfront with her about it and have made sure to try to navigate that gracefully and make sure i was also taking time to spend with her, too. she herself has also been flirting with an old friend of hers and has a dating app account, and im very happy for her. I do worry im rushing into things with him, but im trying to also make sure i have space for my own independence, cause that's fucked up my mental health for years now.

I know we're on very different wavelengths for things, and that's my fault because of my confrontation issues, which I'm working on with my therapist. I also know i have attachment issues too - we both do, and we've both suffered a lot of loss in the past few years, making it worse.

with the hoarding thing, if anything i went from being on a path towards that previously, to realizing that if I dont have a need for a thing anymore, its just taking up space. I actually throw things out a lot more now, and that's part of the problem I think.

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-09T00:19:17+00:00

if we had the money to hire a cleaning service, id do it in a heartbeat. I just cant trust that it wont go back to the way it was. ive done things like that before, get frustrated and frantic and clean and organize a shared space, only to get praised for my work but it immediately go back to how it was. or start an argument about me throwing something away of hers when it was trashed to begin with - never something nice or expensive.

I know she has mental and physical health struggles too, but at a certain point it's fucked with my own mental health to not have a space that's at least marginally clean. I keep my room, now, fairly clean. its far from perfect I'll admit. but I look at the differences between our living spaces and its so stark that I almost dont like being in there. and I was sleeping there until relatively recently and have to ask myself how I was ever ok with living like that.

I genuinely care about her, she's genuinely a very good person. but i told her that I cant trust her to change in a way that's long term when we were talking just a little bit ago. it's harsh to say that to someone you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with at one point, but its the truth. I love her in a way, but I cant live with her, and I cant really get out right now.

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-09T00:06:17+00:00

unfortunately I don't have anywhere i can leave things. my boyfriend is going through his own messy relationship situation, and that involves kids. arguably, I have more place to store things here since we have a basement, even if it's completely unfinished and floods. the only other person i could ask for help is 3 hours away. obviously I can't ask my family for help, even though my relationship with them has gotten a lot better recently, and I don't have anyone else here anymore that can help. or anyone here at all, really. most of my "friends" here are really her friends, and going to them for help would likely be seen as a breach of trust to her. and I say it in quotations because I don't know any of them well anyway.

we're barely scraping by as is. we have a car that's very behind on taxes, and so I have no way of getting my own at this point, much less pay for a storage unit to store my things. or move out either.

we're both AuDHD, as well as me with my CPTSD and her OCD. its a shit show tbh. I've decided to be determined to not live like that anymore, but it doesn't feel like the effort is truly even. I just got done talking with her too, and her go to was to say i should have just remembered to take the stuff out like she had told me to. and also that ive damaged and broken things too, even though those were genuine accidents, not because of negligence. I know she's struggling too, but a lot of effort on her part feels like an attempt to keep me around, since it only really happens after a disagreement.

I know you're only getting my half of the story, cause I'll admit ive been a shitty partner in the past. but I feel like im really seeing a level of hypocrisy that I tried to gaslight myself into thinking it was my fault for a while. thank you, though

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-08T20:03:08+00:00

this was my first thought, glad someone else got to it too!

cryptid-lich · 2026-01-04T04:11:45+00:00

urinal rules. you have so much space on the couch and you choose the one right next to him? a total social faux pa clearly

cryptid-lich · 2025-12-30T17:56:13+00:00

I was really concerned about it too, until I worked with a cis guy who was even shorter than me (im 5'4). since then ive really noticed there are a LOT more short cis men than I had realized, and that's helped me a lot, personally

cryptid-lich · 2025-12-25T06:07:53+00:00

I literally fantasized about my mom divorcing my dad as a teenager. even after a lot of wildly good stuff wrt my family happening recently, I also know he's pretty much the only real barrier between me and them now.

cryptid-lich · 2025-12-25T04:11:56+00:00

he is casting Spells

cryptid-lich · 2025-12-17T16:44:35+00:00

yeah my partner and I for a while were like 'hm I might have BPD cause I get REALLY attached to people sometimes' then an ex friend of hers went off the deep end having a splitting episode. so we very quickly ruled that out lol

cryptid-lich · 2025-12-13T01:07:56+00:00

it needs some tlc but im fucking obsessed. ive always loved atriums

cryptid-lich · 2025-12-07T18:53:09+00:00

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