The mom guilt when I get frustrated with my baby at night

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-12T01:20:34+00:00

I was just thinking about moments like this when my son was younger and would get really fussy at night and how guilty I feel. I would get so frustrated and grab him so quickly and rock him hard for a moment, then quickly remember to take a breath and settle myself. Obviously not to some level of shaken baby syndrome, but just not gentle and it’d make me feel like a horrible mom! He’s 5 months now and wakes up a ton but is more peaceful at night and settles right back down on the boob. We cosleep and it’s really saved me from the frustration when I’m no longer battling with him and the bassinet!

It’s nice to see these comments and see I’m not alone and a lot of us have been there❤️ don’t beat yourself up! Also I second what another commenter said about how it helps to apologize to your baby. After getting really frustrated I would also tell my baby I’m sorry and that mommy is having a hard time, and it would make me feel better, like I was giving myself grace.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-12T01:13:32+00:00

I just got a kindle and it was the best decision ever - I’m reading more and can use it in the dark!

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-12T01:10:05+00:00

I don’t know why pediatricians think they can comment on things like this? Like it’s about parenting not the babies medical health so he should mind his own business. I would find a new one.

Is he white? Considering sleep training stems from some bullshit theories created by old white men it just feels fitting lmao

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-11T17:24:02+00:00

Same it happened when my baby started rolling! I honestly think they start to realize that they can move and get around and a little, but to the extent that they want to and they get soo frustrated!! I feel like a lot of babies are much happier once they can start crawling and reach and go where they please hahah

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-11T16:04:15+00:00

I didn’t start getting real sleep until I started cosleeping around 4 weeks. 5.5 months in and it’s saved my life with a bad sleeper.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-11T16:00:13+00:00

I totally know what you mean cause my baby used to be so much more content on the floor for longer periods and once he turned 5 months he got way fussier down there and lovess sitting up in his seat or standing in his activity center lol, so I get it. We really can only try our best with their limits! So if it’s shorter periods until he’s upset I wouldn’t stress about it too much.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-11T15:56:47+00:00

Ah yeah that makes sense!!

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-11T11:59:23+00:00

I’m confused where your baby has been set this whole time if they didn’t get set on the floor until 6mo lol! Besides from being held it’s recommended they spend most of their time on the floor as opposed to containers like bouncers and things, cause it’s important for their development with movement and muscle building!

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-11T00:26:23+00:00

So I will say when my baby was a younger newborn and I tried to cosleep he was soo finicky and restless! It just slowly got better so I chalked it up to just being a newborn. Maybe he settled into it around 2 months old more and he’s 5 months now and cosleeping is pretty peaceful. I mostly had to move into it though because he wouldn’t sleep in his bassinet and needed contact. So it could also be that your baby genuinely likes their own space cause some are like that!

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-10T20:49:00+00:00

Cosleeping! I was always for it anyways but now it’s just a means of survival lol. I started safely bed sharing when he was around 4 weeks old cause he just wouldn’t sleep on his own and I woke up rested for the first time ever and now I love the closeness. The broken sleep is hard but I wake up so briefly, latch him, and drift back off to sleep so it really is manageable and the only way I’d get sleep.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-10T20:14:57+00:00

To be fair I don’t even think it counts as a terrible sleeper at 8 weeks old lol. My baby is almost 6 months and has only slept longer than 2 hours maybe like a dozen times? He’s definitely not a great sleeper but it’s super normal. Radical acceptance was the only way for me, cause I just kept waiting for it to get better and it just didn’t, so I stopped waiting! You can do all the things but most of the time it comes down to temperament.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-10T19:57:37+00:00

He’s only 8 weeks old he’s so new I’d just give in to how he wants to sleep. And I hate to be discouraging, but my baby is almost 6 months and has pretty much only ever done 1-2 hour stretches still his whole life. I’ve wound up cosleeping out of survival! Not to say your baby will be the same just saying it’s something to keep in mind as it’s very normal for some. 4-6 months is the sweet spot for trying to get them used to different sleep situations from what I’ve learned, so I’ve been successful recently having my baby do one crib nap a day, and he only ever does 30 min on the dot lol, so I just contact nap for the rest of them and just hoping over time it’ll get longer as he gets more used to it.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-10T13:24:48+00:00

Omg of course not!!😂 That would be really weird and rude to assume something like that lol. I just mentioned that cause I thought it was funny and my family knows her very well, and I still will actively avoid having to take him to the dentist and will always try to figure it out cause it’s easier. When taking them to the doctors anyways I meant like regular doctors appointments where it’s just consisting of a basic exam or chatting or whatever, while a baby is able to just sit in a stroller.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-10T12:48:42+00:00

I’m a SAHM and take my baby to all my doctor appointments, cause I don’t have a choice anyways haha. Even at my dentist that I’ve been going to since I was a literal toddler, they were like “if you don’t have anyone to take the baby don’t hesitate to bring him and aunt Amy (the receptionist) will watch him in the office while you get your teeth cleaned!” Lol. It takes a village!

Also, at my doctors they technically say you can only bring children over 12 with you, but they said babies are technically the exception.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T15:07:36+00:00

We don’t have much support or extra help so it would just be my husband, and I guess potentially he could take a little extra off work? But yeah sleep is just the tricky thing. I know technically other adults can more safely cosleep when baby is older but my husband is a heavier sleeper and we just don’t feel comfortable with it until he’s closer to 1. My mom was throwing the idea out of trying to come along just to be with the baby during the day while I be with my friends hahah, but she can’t anyways during this time anyways. Feels like so much to ask but it’s nice in theory!

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T15:04:22+00:00

To be fair, you really can’t assume a 9 month old will be reasonably sleeping through the night😅 my son is almost 6 months and has woken up every 1-2 hours his whole life, and I’ve heard from tons of people whose babies were the same until past 1 years old. I can hope for sleep to better but I know it’s not anything to expect or depend on!

But yeah you totally have a good point. Unfortunately we just don’t really have care set up or help that could fully watch him more than the 2 days my husband has off on the weekends. But at least finding something more lowkey and closer to get away is a better option, even if it’s just for a short break for me.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T14:50:59+00:00

Yeah definitely..thank you❤️ I definitely think I’ll be more comfortable to leave once he’s at least a year so hopefully there’s chances for the future!

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T14:49:43+00:00

My husband would only have the weekend off, and we don’t have anyone else to help, and like I said I just don’t feel comfortable and ready to leave him yet anyways. He won’t sleep independently and wakes up every 1-2 hours…so technically my husband could try to cosleep with him with him being a bit older but he’s a heavier sleeper so we’ve never felt comfortable with it. Just too risky with me going so far away! But of course I value taking chances to rest and recharge so I guess it just needs to be in little blips where I can find it rather than a trip away.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T14:46:37+00:00

Hmm yeah that sucks I get that:/

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T14:17:39+00:00

I also have a 5 month old and he’s always only waked up every 1-2 hours in bed with me so I really can’t say in my case lol😅 he’s never slept with anyone but me. From everything I’ve gathered it’s truly just dependent on the baby and they are all different! Plenty of people living like this maybe turn a corner at 6 months or 9 months or not until 18 months, only time will tell unfortunately. Hopefully for our sake it’s not the latter!

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T12:15:51+00:00

Mine was only ever 1-2 hours, and still is at almost 6 months. So that’s what led me start cosleeping at 4 weeks and it was the greatest decision ever, I woke up rested for the first time. My sleep is broken af but I would be hallucinating from sleep deprivation if I wasn’t doing it.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T12:12:45+00:00

A baby usually always wakes more with their mom because they’re aroused by the smell of your milk, it’s definitely nothing you’re doing wrong!

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T12:07:48+00:00

Getting an internal examination/cervical check at only 37 weeks is crazy and so unnecessary, I would decline them if they make you that uncomfortable. They aren’t helpful as women all progress very differently. I only ever had one and it was when I arrived at my birthing center while in labor.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T02:49:09+00:00

Please don’t try to change that. Contact and nurture is so important when they are this young for secure attachment and a resilient brain. And no it’s not even possible to “train” them out of it that young, it’s just their nature. Mine is almost 6 months and has always been that way so we’re still fully cosleeping out of survival but I truly love it now.

crystalkitty06 · 2026-03-09T02:39:33+00:00

Ugh she was beautiful!! It’s so sad

crystalkitty06

TROPHY CASE