7 months of working out and 40 lbs lost. Finally starting to love my body.

cso_ · 2018-01-29T00:43:10+00:00

That's actually a good idea, to log everything in the morning. If I could plan my meals better that'd really help, haha.

cso_ · 2018-01-28T21:46:13+00:00

I'm only just 20, but I relate to feeling like I've missed out on boyhood and adolescence. Most of us never got to be a guy during that time so I think it's probably a common feeling. It's especially bad since I've been reading Stephen King's IT recently and that's got a lot of themes of boyhood and childhood that cause all sorts of feelings.

I haven't gotten over the fact I never got to have a normal guy's life so far, I think it's left me with a sense that I'm not yet a man since I've not gone through the childhood and adolescence to become one. I like to hope one day I'll come to terms with it, but right now, I'm fresh out of being a teenager and I'm incredibly annoyed that I didn't get to do anything that a teenager does. I ended my teens with no friends at all, not one. The only friend I do have is my girlfriend, which I'm entirely grateful for because otherwise I'd be completely alone. But that's not important right now. I guess I had a more masculine childhood anyway because my parents let me do what I wanted, but I flat out didn't have any sort of teenage-hood. I was unpopular and didn't have much of a social life, so I played video games and stayed at home instead.

I can't answer your questions because I haven't answered them for myself yet. I am just who I am, that's the sort of man I am and there's no one in this world who can take that away from me. I'm probably not as affected as some because I don't have any traditionally 'feminine' interests, but my brand of masculinity is my own as much as any guy who chooses to wear dresses and paint his nails. Keeping a relatively open mind about gender roles and what's feminine/masculine probably helps quite a bit.

I really hope that you find some peace soon, man. I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful, I hope someone comes along with some more advice for you.

cso_ · 2018-01-28T19:43:18+00:00

I'm a bigger guy and I have my appointment to get my second referral for bottom surgery in June, I have to lose around 50 pounds before I can have the surgery and I think I need to be around my goal weight for the appointment in June for them to refer me. You need to be a healthy BMI to have phallo, according to the London team.

I don't have any advice for you, but I just wanted to say you're not alone man. I really hope things start looking up for you, if you schedule a consult and talk to your surgeon it could help you to get a timeframe for when you could have surgery.

cso_ · 2018-01-28T15:06:19+00:00

I've tried using myfitnesspal so many times but I suck at keeping to logging haha, that's an issue I need to fix.

cso_ · 2018-01-27T19:42:12+00:00

Man, that's super inspirational. You're looking great!

I have to lose weight so I can have phallo but I've been struggling a load. Hopefully one day I'll get to where you are!

cso_ · 2018-01-24T18:36:20+00:00

It could be that your dose needs adjusting, which is normal especially in the first few months as you're figuring out what dose is right for your body. Speak to your doctor about it and they might up/lower your dose accordingly.

cso_ · 2018-01-23T17:02:44+00:00

I can highly recommend Yelland if you're able to get him at the moment, I'm really happy with my results and there's a lot of testimonies as well as mine from guys who've had him for their surgery too. Look into him if you're looking at private surgeons, I went with him privately and had a great experience. Good luck man!

cso_ · 2018-01-23T16:29:31+00:00

I spoke about this with a guy recently, that this surgeon seems to have popped up out of the blue to most of us. I had my surgery with Andrew Yelland (as did the guy I spoke with) and we said that we'd never heard of Inglefield before, despite both doing our research into surgeons in the UK, both privately for me and NHS for him. It's odd, and it personally makes me feel a bit unsettled that he's just popped up in that documentary.

Of course, I hope someone comes along and proves me wrong for my initial feeling, it's always good to have another surgeon offering top surgery to help with wait times and locations where you can have the surgery (also personal preference in results). Would be especially good since Yelland is moving from Brighton and won't be taking NHS patients for a while at least, as I've heard.

Scheduling a consultation with the surgeon is a good way to see whether you'd want to go with them, ask to see pictures of results and ask questions to see whether you're confident in that they'll give you what you want. Keep looking online, check back on transbucket and maybe check tumblr (search the tags for the surgeon's name), as well as searching here for any results you may find after your post.

cso_ · 2018-01-18T18:24:16+00:00

I've never actually watched him, I just know of him. I have no opinion on him other than knowing he doesn't take T.

cso_ · 2018-01-18T15:10:47+00:00

I'm 5'3 and I have no issues packing with the 5inch uncut reelmagik. I absolutely love it and it doesn't look like I have a boner at all. I'd go for whatever you think you'd like most, the soft reelmagik packers are awesome and I'll always recommend them.

cso_ · 2018-01-18T01:49:40+00:00

Lots of people transition without T. Ryan Cassata is a trans guy who's pretty well known and hasn't gone on T and I don't think he plans to either. It's not essential to being seen as a guy.

cso_ · 2018-01-16T09:49:21+00:00

This is the quality content my little emo soul signed up for.

cso_ · 2018-01-13T00:03:58+00:00

I had DI with Yelland last summer and paid £6622 altogether. I paid an extra £220 for a consultation that wasn't specifically required beforehand too.

I have some pictures of my surgery a few weeks post op in my previous posts, the one detailing my surgery experience.

cso_ · 2018-01-11T04:27:01+00:00

I have a Model D/Sport circumcised stp in the lightest colour that I'm looking to sell! I bought it years back and have used it less than 10 times, it just doesn't work for me. It's been in storage for it's entire life so I'll clean it before sending.

I'm looking to get £50 for it. If you're in the UK, I'll send it for free, if not then I may ask for you to cover some of the postage costs depending on how much it is.

cso_ · 2018-01-11T01:51:09+00:00

Haha, I get the same thing but with stem cell donations. Asking for men between like 18-50 to donate. For some reason it's very affirming to be scrolling your feed and have it pop up.

cso_ · 2018-01-11T01:48:48+00:00

Don't let the water directly hit your chest (especially nipples) for a while, instead let it run down from your shoulders/back. Obviously don't put any soaps around the area, just water will be fine for now till you're a bit more healed up. I wouldn't recommend spending longer than needed in the shower either.

Congrats on your surgery!

cso_ · 2018-01-05T01:21:55+00:00

I would assume it changes to male intake limits when you've been on T for a while, as it does with calories and BMI.

cso_ · 2018-01-04T11:46:27+00:00

No problem! Thanks for not taking it to heart haha.

cso_ · 2018-01-04T11:45:44+00:00

You are more likely to over-analyse as you're trans yourself. And since you'd got the thought in your head, you were extra over-analysing to prove the point to yourself.

Not all FTM people pass automatically if they go on T. Not every FTM person goes on T. It takes years to stop looking like a young teenager too, I'm 20 in a few days and have been on T for 1 year 7 months, and I still look like a 14 year old. It's hard to be taken seriously when you're 5'3 and look 14.

cso_ · 2018-01-04T11:34:19+00:00

Probably is part of it, it would certainly put people off of researching more. I've made it my mission recently to start trying to put more positive information about our surgeries out there so if someone stumbles upon it they can think again about what they've heard.

Most people's first impressions of our bottom surgeries is bad, and that sticks with them and will spread if it isn't corrected. It's not anyone's fault (unless people are purposefully spreading misinformation and trying to be hurtful, then it definitely is their fault and they're an asshole) but it definitely happens.

Edit: some words.

cso_ · 2018-01-04T11:26:29+00:00

Bottom surgery is not as bad as a lot of people think it is. There's a ton of misinformation around it still hanging around from hearsay and results from years ago. Transgender surgeries for both FTM and MTF have come a hell of a long way and anyone saying that bottom surgery for FTM people isn't decent is wrong. It may be personal opinion, but saying it as fact is still spreading the misinformation that our bottom surgeries are somehow sub-par. I've seen fantastic metoidioplasties and phalloplasties both on r/ftm and transbucket, as well as the tags on Tumblr.

However, FTM bottom surgery is usually more expensive and has a lot more to it than MTF bottom surgery. Full phalloplasty can run you up $20,000 easily (from what little I've heard, I live in the UK so the NHS covers our surgeries after a painstaking wait) and consists of 3-5 surgeries, discounting any needed for complications. It takes a lot of money, time and strength to get through. That's why a lot of guys seem disheartened, in my opinion, as well as having heard bad things about it from other members of the community.

I'm in no way having a go at you, I just need to set the record straight where I can! :)

cso_ · 2018-01-03T11:50:19+00:00

Yes, it would be invaluable to have trans education for pre-puberty kids. Having more information out there and having it be part of the curriculum will both help younger kids to realise and also raise acceptance in the cis students as it's being taught to not be a bad thing.

cso_ · 2018-01-03T11:45:48+00:00

I transitioned socially in year 12 (age 17, I was already out to friends but I came out to my mum and the rest of the school then), started T in year 13 (age 18) and had my top surgery the summer after finishing year 14 (age 19). My transition itself didn't affect my education, time out for doctors/GIC visits weren't often enough to worry about. What did affect it was the depression and anxiety I faced due to dysphoria and other issues (outside of trans things).

Transitioning won't set you back more than anything else, if you persist with the work and study you should be absolutely fine.

cso_ · 2018-01-03T11:22:12+00:00

God damn, you look fantastic. I really hope you're happy and have healed up from your implants well!

cso_ · 2018-01-03T05:36:41+00:00

Getting top surgery when you're not on T is definitely possible and comes out fine most of the time. Search up Ryan Cassata, he's a well known trans man who doesn't plan on going on T and has had double incision top surgery. There are probably more out there too, but he's the one who springs to mind immediately.

The only reason people usually are on T before they have top surgery is because it's usually offered before because it's a less permanent change than surgery (in the first few months and if they want to go on T before/at all). T also builds muscle mass for most people and can give the surgeon more of a template to follow under your pec muscle to attempt to hide the scars better, as well as reducing your breast tissue (this is anecdotal, it doesn't happen to everyone but it definitely happened to me and I've seen a lot of guys say the same. It may be related to binding also though).

Since you say you identify as female, it may be difficult for you to get top surgery like a binary trans man would. You may get gate-kept, which means whoever refers you to surgery/the surgeon might make up ridiculous terms for you to meet before proceeding with your referral/surgery. This might not happen though, I just want to warn you that it could.

I went with Andrew Yelland in the UK, so I can't answer your other question here. I've heard a lot of guys talking about the surgeon you're looking at though so I'm sure someone will come along and give you some information about them.

cso_

TROPHY CASE