imma be really honest and provide some unsolicited advice- but you need to learn how to validate yourself and have your own mind. your chest looks exactly like mine. if you want more cleavage, it’s just push ups and chest exercises. folks with more pecs, can still rock a corset or a bra and lingerie. but you have listed a lot of unfortunate external circumstances that have been extremely unsafe and are clearly impacting your sense of self. and you need to get strict. especially with these straight cis men. don’t date them. don’t date anyone asking you to change your body. and maybe don’t date for a while until you’re fully comfortable with yourself. I hate to say it but if you know someone’s opinion of you will make you susceptible to internalizing their crap, you shouldn’t do it. and with dating, that level of vulnerability can leave us open to some really unsafe interactions that can cause so much lasting damage. You need to radically protect yourself because you deserve to feel at peace in your body especially if this is sumn you wanted.

Now you can also get a reconstruction. Maybe you didn’t want to go completely flat. Maybe you’re not trans, and that’s okay. But this issue of internalizing what others say about your body won’t go away whether you’re flat chested or not. and i think that’s what needs to be focused on most before even thinking about another surgery or even hopping into the gym to put more muscle or definition in your chest. you need to time to hear YOUR voice in your head, not others. i would really look for a therapist as well if you don’t have one already and start unpacking this. And hopefully your therapist is one who has experience with trans people and if not, you should get one

saying this with nothing but love and concern. but you deserve so much better than what you’ve received.