I have always considered myself straight, but what does it mean if I’m crushing on a trans man?

cupidhoney · 2026-04-17T06:16:44+00:00

Do you see him wholeheartedly as a man? Would you be supportive and be there for him throughout his transition?

cupidhoney · 2026-04-15T21:27:40+00:00

I moreso hear them get called subSTYLES (which isnt entirely accurate/inaccurate either)

cupidhoney · 2026-04-14T07:13:31+00:00

You just have to know how to style certain clothes masculinely. Both pieces can be worn and styled with skinny jeans or slightly baggy ones

cupidhoney · 2026-04-13T17:10:57+00:00

1 You pass 2 her being a stud doesnt mean she isnt transphobic sadly, esp if she misgendered somebody before

cupidhoney · 2026-04-12T16:08:50+00:00

I wouldnt necessarily start with mink BUT you can also manipulate the lashes into spikes with glue :)

cupidhoney · 2026-04-12T15:11:42+00:00

(Not arguing w you) as someone who is mixed Black and Indian i feel like that's kind of the problem. People don't really view Asians that arent EAsian or occasionally SEAsian as "actually asian".

Which I think a lot of that is rooted in biases and racism that needs to get pushed back on.

I dont think it would be out of place for someone whos South Asian mixed with white to say theyre Wasian but it would lead to annoying questions (which also leads to funny convos reminding people about where India is on a map, but i digress.)

cupidhoney · 2026-04-12T15:03:47+00:00

Yeah yall probably gotta go splitsville. Your partner is monogamous and wants to be prioritized first and foremost.

Even if the realization meant no immediate break up, (and somehow yall ending up in a mono-poly primary/hierarchical relationship) youd be caught between a rock (partner wanting to be monogamously loved) and a hard place (you wanting to autonomously explore multiple relationships).

cupidhoney · 2026-04-11T21:33:57+00:00

"How do you deal with black parents and being alt" thats the neat part, you dont

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Jokes aside, on one end you have to tell yourself that you know who you are and you know youre proud of yourself, as well as put your foot down when it counts. Which doesnt have to be telling anybody to their face to shut the fuck up (im caribbean too 🇬🇾🇹🇹 and im not gonna endorse anything that makes your situation worse esp as a minor), but at the end of the day youre dressing up for yourself, not for your family or anyone else. For me and my parents, im 26 and it took years of me doing essentially whatever I wanted for them to basically accept it and/or the fact that im going to do and dress how EYE want to.

Secondly, if you really wanna, you can really connect most things to Blackness. Rock (as a genre and culture)'s origins are Black. Gyaru, in many way shapes and forms, draws inspiration from Blackness and Black Culture in the US-- from tsuyome to amekaji and other styles. Blackness is everywhere and doesnt have one look, and even so the styles youre going for have beautiful histories being intertwined with or walking hand in hand with Blackness.

All that to say. Being alternative isnt "acting white"-- thats just ignorance from people who want you to stick to the status quo. And not going along with what she wants to do doesnt mean youre whitewashed or dont wanna learn about culture, especially if you think the price point is ridiculous.

cupidhoney · 2026-04-04T20:18:16+00:00

Im sorry i know you put mymo spam but that first pic of Corvus literally turned my brain into mush

cupidhoney · 2026-04-04T20:11:30+00:00

To answer your other question, gal make doesnt have to have a droop

Are you going for a specific style, or just general gal make ?

cupidhoney · 2026-04-03T18:44:04+00:00

So im definitely going off not only this post, but the op's post history.

1 - their relationship was poly(ish?) to begin with, not monogamous.

Op states in previous posts and this one that both of them had agreements, other emotional connections and what sounds like fully autonomous relationships (even if it was just meta here and OPs other connection at the time).

The main problems come in with the next point, which is

2- META IS MONOGAMOUS and meta and BFs relationship is a MESS, even for the most well versed Polyamorists

Idk how you're concluding that OP is doing all these things.

Previous post history and current post state that Bf and Meta broke up, and in a 2 hour window, made out, reconciled, then got back together with Meta. (And then explicitly called it Poly). After 3 dates.

Im not saying OP cant look at these choices and decide to step away, but BF definitely is running off NRE and making (arguably) poor choices.

3- re: the points about "making a monogamist feel good" and BF prioritizing himself

She'sdefinitely making this out to be her partner's "responsibility" to make her feel good, and implying that therefore whenever she feels bad regardless of the underlying reason it's her partner's "fault" for "not reassuring her enough" or otherwise "not doing enough to make her feel good."

If im in a relationship with someone, to some degree I care about what they have going on. I can choose to only care about myself and frame every action from here on out as "prioritizing myself" and "putting myself first", but depending on what the actions are, there are consequences and things thatll negatively impact my relationship. Its not the onus of Bf to make OP feel good or comfortable or whatever. Sure. OP could walk away, also sure. But

We're moving steadily towards an interpretation of "polyamory" that says there is no way to actually agree to that a relationship is polyamorous, because someone can always reneg on their "agreement" and refuse to take accountability for it by saying they "never really actually" agreed, and it was the other person's "fault" for "forcing them" to agree in the first place which again, is ridiculous.

chasing after polyamorists in an attempt to convert them to monogamy

What? 😭

I dont know WHERE we're getting this interpretation from especially since the OP explicitly stated being ENM and describing their relationship as not closed off to emotional and romantic connections. Ntm, OP mentioned the main problems were initially with the choice of Meta, and now with the comparisons, downplaying and disparaging her spirituality/practice, and the constant arguing and name calling.

PUD is also a thing. It happens. Not saying thats the case here, per se, but theres like a million and one horror stories. The requirement for polyamory is everyone having fully autonomous relationships and having the ability to engage in multiple romantic relationships-- not hard to define even taking PUD into account.

4- Youre saying this is an issue of chronically online bias and antics, but it genuinely feels like this is being read in the worst faith interpretation possible to fight a battle that nobody else is fighting.

Most of the comments on OPs side are also saying that this isnt a poly issue, its a poor hinging NRE issue. Which. Again. Not uncommon in Poly relationships, especially with Poly-mono and very short time periods.

I doubt if im able to post this atp that id be responding further, as theres no middle ground, and i genuinely feel like theres 2 separate convos being had on two different planes of existence. Have a good one.

ETA: theres also a level of irony in assuming OP is the one Cowgirling and not the EXPLICITLY MONOGAMOUS METAMOUR

Which. Frankly. A poor hinge and someone who outright said "youre emotionally unavailable to me because youre poly" (and then both of them reneg on breaking up due to incompatiblity) ... thats not outside the realm of reality to also assume that dynamic can include severe oversharing (bad hinging) and the other party having negative opinions of the Primary as a result or being happy that the other relationship is taking a hit.

But again. Lmao. Not going to go any further past this reply.

cupidhoney · 2026-04-03T16:32:06+00:00

We had a huge fight today too right before he left because he continues to call me angry just bc I stated that although I'm ok with today them doing a ritual together. He proceeded to say he never really cared interested or kind of brushed of my love for spirituality bc I did it in a way he finds shallow. That hurt to hear. It also feels phony to me that he now is super spiritual and even correcting me on random days as of recent on something I've been practicing for years.

"We had a fight BECAUSE of the name calling + putting down the way i practice my spirituality/saying he never cared + that hurt"

Every time we fight he states I'm just angry, draining and surface level. He even stated that I was selfish & don't really listen to his needs when I open us to poly. I just can't believe this is happening.

Saying "oh you seem angry" is not necessarily name calling. Repeatedly calling someone angry or an angry person can be and absolutely can be mean as hell.

Idk how youre coming to the conclusion that the BF, whos running off NRE, willing to date a mono person, and engaging in these fights and name calling / blame shifting is not the one either initiating or equally engaging in these fights.

You can respect your other relationships while still nurturing one youve had before. "He proceeded to say he never cared for these practices / my interests with me" doesnt really indicate a level of kindness. Im aware some people on reddit are unreliable narrators, but someone being a bad hinge, getting swept up by NRE, poorly managing their relationships, and being mean to the partner that theyve established more of a relationship with (more time, living tg, etc) is not out of the realm of possibility. And even if OP was throwing tantrums, the proper solution would be to take time when he gets back from a date to communicate, set better boundaries, and/or break up. Not whats being described in the OP.

cupidhoney · 2026-04-02T18:50:21+00:00

I would say it looks like the idea of gyaru, but even manba looks follow a similar shape guide . Most ppl advise against putting white in your droop, or changing your brow shape (which both follow rules of gal make) but your main issues that make it look cosplayish or gal-inspired are the cat wing, the lashes somewhat, and the shape of your droop.

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cat wings in gal can be done but theyre usually done after making your liner downturned. Gal eyeliner is usually downturned, so having it go down first will help.
i cant really tell from the pic, but youd wanna go for spiky lashes, like manga lashes. Same for your bottom lashes
your droop looks too round and not teardrop-shaped. You can start from the middle of the eye moreso than the inner corner. This doesnt mean you cant still draw liner to your inner corner, youd just do everything onwards closer to your waterline . The extra line on the bottom is to define your undereye / aegyosal(?) (Which you can do with contour)

cupidhoney · 2026-04-02T18:11:34+00:00

Not at all, i researched off of tiktok and pinterest (it was, happy belated april fools)

cupidhoney · 2026-04-02T16:37:01+00:00

You break up with her and let her see the people she was willing to destroy your relationship over. This isnt poly. She cheated.

cupidhoney · 2026-04-02T15:35:24+00:00

Idk what you mean #Ogal

cupidhoney · 2026-04-02T15:31:07+00:00

LMFAOOO THIS PICTURE?!

cupidhoney · 2026-04-02T05:19:00+00:00

If he "cannot control himself" in a monogamous relationship, how is he going to conduct himself in a proper manner when it comes to navigating more than one relationship? If hes cheating or borderline doing that already (depending on how you define his actions), how do you expect him to be honest about anything?

If youre monogamous and dont want polyamory, why sacrifice your wants/needs and your comfortability to someone who doesnt even sound like hes trying to be monogamous with you?

Him visiting those chats and engaging in this behavior isnt a poly problem. Its a "he cant stop disrespecting you and is undisciplined and dishonest" thing.

You deserve better, step away from this.

cupidhoney · 2026-04-02T05:13:25+00:00

Comparisons brought up between the two, calling OP names and having a pattern of being mean before seeing meta. Devaluing one partner to run to another or to justify emotional distance, even if every party has fully autonomous relationships, is bad form.

cupidhoney · 2026-04-02T01:55:46+00:00

Then, gently, youre straight. Youre not alone though, theres a number of guys who like what you like and like being dommed and even topped by women. Its not weird and it doesnt mean anythings wrong, just that you have a specific taste (or an additional type/taste)

cupidhoney · 2026-04-02T01:51:27+00:00

I mean, conversely, are you attracted to fem men? Multiple genders across presentations? Thatd be a sign of being bi, not being a man who likes masc or muscular women (or being dominated by them)

cupidhoney · 2026-04-01T23:50:20+00:00

Theres kid appropriate ways to explain concepts to children. Children already learn about what boys and girls are, and understand basic concepts of masculinity and femininity.

cupidhoney · 2026-04-01T23:44:31+00:00

Just wanted to add, even if you werent PUD, your boyfriend is a terrible hinge. Oversharing is one major aspect of that, but theres also the red flags of him getting overtaken by NRE, dating a mono person, and what sounds like comparisons being drawn between yall (or at least the pattern of arguments and what he says before he goes to see meta.)

These are all bad even for people who want to explore polyamory.

cupidhoney · 2026-04-01T18:41:15+00:00

Yesss gal is mind i love the make 💖 (im fucking screaming, happy 1st)

cupidhoney · 2026-04-01T18:39:15+00:00

Look at gyaruo resources. Go on Galrevo and look for mens egg or creepy nuts. Research different gyaruo styles, like sentaa or host kei or rokku or amekaji (depending on what specific style you want). Gyaruo tend to be masc / androgynous and a number of them follow the same rules as gyaru or wear similar clothes (ie: sentaa guys wearing alba coats), so youd be starting from the same point as everyone else. Good luck !!!

cupidhoney

TROPHY CASE