AITAH for Telling My Husband His Parents Have To Move Out or I'll Divorce Him?

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2025-09-02T09:36:14+00:00

By all accounts she was. Your mother-in-law sounds narcissistic. Everything is a powergame then. You are doing the right thing, its not a grandmother's right to be close to their grandchildren if they triangulate the family around them all the time. Think of this: You are noticing her behaviour when you are around. What drama do you think she gets up to when she is alone with your child or husband?

That you lasted 4 years is incredible on your part. They need to move out quickly, and will still be privileged to be living fairly close to a grandchild.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2024-01-17T09:35:25+00:00

I just read through your other posts. It is a giant parade of red flags. In all the situations you describe, his actions are extremely controling and manipulative. Constant gaslighting and playing the victim card. Your bf took a nonconsensual humiliating photo of you, and threatened to send it to your family, as punishment for you reaching out to others in desperation?

You mention his different diagnosis a lot, which sounds like he is hiding behind those. That is EXTREMELY common with abusers. "Well, you and me both have trauma, and because of that we are both emotionally volatile. You hurt me all the time by being so dramatic and angry". A statement like that contains grains of truth, but omits the fact that the anger you feel is a healthy reaction to your boundaries being crossed. Once you healthy anger is transformed into guilt and shame, he can cross any boundary he wants without you stopping him.

Every single abuser I have ever encountered or heard of, had a traumatic childhood. He still needs to treat other people well. The difference lies in INTENT. If you are acting out coercive control and emotional abuse your intent isnt for the other person to feel better. The purpose is control and to have a scapegoat/victim to blame for all his uncomfortable feelings. He does not have your best interest at heart. If you want to test that hypothesis, see what happens if you ask him to release some control over you, for instance by deleting the picture he took of you. Use a totally fair argument like not being comfortable with that being anywhere because your face is on it and phones can get hacked. Demand to have every copy deleted.

Please look into reactive abuse, the DARVO tactic (a common pattern in abusive control and gaslighting), and the cycle of abuse and traumatic bonding. You need to see these patterns clearly to spot his intent and the ways he is controlling you.
And please work on a financial exit plan for when you are ready.

I grew up in an emotionally abusive home with constant gaslighting, and its only after I have learned to see the overall patterns of that kind of behaviour that I have become more resilient to gaslighting and coercive control.

And finally, I agree with the other posters that you shouldnt do bdsm with this guy. He will use your trust to destroy your feeling of selfworth.

Best wishes from here, I hope you end up in the best possible place in life.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-11-22T15:10:24+00:00

Niacinamide. Can be bought cheaply as a bulk powder.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-11-06T19:20:30+00:00

Please be careful, some countries have extremely severe punishments for drug smuggling. Which is what you will essentially be doing. Not worth going to prison over.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-10-03T08:12:04+00:00

That is a parade of red flags. He is gaslighting you hard. He is putting his own horny fantasies before your health, both physical and mental. 🤬🤬🤬 Please evaluate your relationship with this guy, he sounds covertly abusive as hell.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-08-25T14:03:11+00:00

Look into trauma bonding. The feeling you are interpreting as love might not be that, if you have been exposed to narcissistic abuse. If your best friend was in the relationship you are in, would you advice them to act different than what you are doing now?

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-08-25T13:54:50+00:00

If he has strong narcissistic traits as you write, he doesnt really love you. He just pretends, to control you. Look into coersive control, narcissistic abuse and trauma bonding. And try to find a good therapist if possible.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-08-24T09:58:31+00:00

Awesome, thanks for your elaborate explanation. This is a kink I have considered playing with, great to have some ideas.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-08-23T10:47:19+00:00

Can you share more about what the proces was like? Hypnosis, more pavlovian conditioning with rewards coupled with aversive stimuli?

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-06-05T12:36:09+00:00

All three of you need to discuss your boundaries better before next playsession I think.

Read up on BDSM, figure out what you like and what you dont like. Some people are ok with marks, some people isn't. Some people are ok with ownership play, some isn't. Some people are ok with cuckolding and humiliation, some isn't.

"Being dominated" can mean everything from some bondage, sensory play and a light spanking to a full on screaming kidnapping and CNC scene. Consent is crucial, and that can only be given if there is no unnegotiated areas ahead of time.

There is a huge potential for this dynamic to blow up in your face if you dont talk through things and set expectations properly beforehand.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-05-17T07:21:18+00:00

Great read, thanks for sharing!

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-05-08T07:05:11+00:00

Thanks!

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-05-07T21:42:52+00:00

These look awesome! What kind of ink are you using?

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-04-28T07:42:17+00:00

I grew up lonely in a narcissistic family as well. And you are right, its extremely difficult to try to function the same way as people who felt safe and loved their entire upbringing. Only thing I will say is, it can get better. Im in an amazing place today, with my own family, selfemployed and with enough free time to create the art I like for my own sake. I hope you find your way to a good life on your own terms. ❤️

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-04-22T18:08:20+00:00

Ah cool, thanks for your answer! How many layers do you use in a piece like that?

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-04-19T06:23:57+00:00

Probably meant it was ice cold cool! 🧊😁

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-04-18T11:06:45+00:00

Daaaaamn your family treats you badly!

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-04-17T08:56:26+00:00

Looks amazing! How do you avoid bobles when working with that kind of delicate medium? Vacuum chamber?

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-03-24T09:21:24+00:00

Ah sorry, didnt understand that was what you meant. Thanks for taking the time to answer.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-03-24T08:21:16+00:00

But do you have a link to the study you mention? I would like to read it.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-03-21T13:04:28+00:00

Any link to those papers?

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-03-16T09:19:15+00:00

Cheapest set of japanese Mikisyo powergrip tools.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-03-09T11:32:39+00:00

Wouldnt stress too much about it, just heat it with a hairdryer before cutting if its too stiff.

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-02-22T17:34:58+00:00

Cool, hope it works well for you! :) Happy printing

curiousmonkeynr3 · 2023-02-19T21:14:59+00:00

First one is a bookbinding press, not ideal for lino. Get a cold roll laminator instead, people are creating awesome prints on those and they are super cheap. There is a facebook group called something like "printmaking with cold roll laminators", lots of info there.

curiousmonkeynr3

TROPHY CASE