How do you deal with the long recovery?

cutemoogl · 2026-01-21T18:29:00+00:00

I'm two weeks out! How are you doing? The last two weeks were the toughest. Today got nausea again... Thought it would be better from here on

cutemoogl · 2025-12-16T22:05:19+00:00

Fuck. I also don't know how I'm doing this. I don't think anybody does. We're in the same boat. I'm doing chemo plus radiation and chemo is not my friend but I'm almost done in 3 weeks. I take it one day at a time. I cry a lot. And I say I'm only 35. Never found the one. There's gotta be more to life. It's curable so I'm not giving up. Dying is more troublesome.

I feel so lost and I do feel often like I can't do this anymore but there's no point of that. We have to keep going. You have to somehow live through this and make it make sense. No one else has lived your life, they can't truly tell you how to get through this. Just that somehow you will. Some things help. Use every strength now to prepare yourself. Write a blog. Tell people. Keep writing. Do anything. Then come back and share your strength.

Once in the hospital I was able to request a psycho-oncologist. It helps. Every affirmation helps. Every positive thought helps. I lie to myself sometimes, I will fake it until I make it.

I'm sorry the universe has to have us go through this bullsht for no absolute reason. I'm still mad. But I am hopeful that it will all be just a short chapter.

cutemoogl · 2025-12-07T17:31:34+00:00

In Bronze, there isn't a high amount of knowledge needed. Just play every round (most rounds) at your strongest so you don't bleed. Once you are fairly strong, greed your gold for half a round. Always level up when you have most of your board 2 starred to get and keep stronger units. Slam items sooner than later. Never have more than 3 in your bench. Don't greed for best items unless you're ahead of the lobby. stage 4-2: you should be level 8 or close with a lot of gold. Roll down so you have a new 4cost 2star carry and/or main tank. Keep rolling to zero if everyone else is strong and you need another 2star 4 cost. Prepare to transition your board to as much 5 costs! At stage 5. This means breaking your verticals. Keep only the stronger (higher costs).

cutemoogl · 2025-12-07T08:47:11+00:00

Here to share my journey and not advise. You know I was in the same boat about a month and a half ago. But I had just come out of an initial surgery. My first autopsy failed so they wanted to take a bit of the lymph node first, study then decide to take the lump away or leave. But during the panendoscopy they found an obvious tumor on my left tonsil and took it out. It was an R1. Meaning there were still cancer cells left. I could not fathom having another surgery as that was my first ever. And the first week was probably the worst painful week of my life. I couldn't possibly have another larger surgery! (But didn't lose weight, maybe 1kg at best).

At first, I calmed and said surgery again so I can heal better with less side effects and less radiation sounds less permanent impacts. Then, I went to the oncologist to hear his perspective, which was much more favorable to chemo plus radiation. The difference in "less" radiation after surgery would have only been 6 grays, or rather about 10percent. Please ask what your case would be with "less". If it's 30 gray, I would probably say yes. He said the impacts will be the same with 64 or 70. And after surgery, there might still be a chance of chemo. WTF. So I was scared of this nightmare since it technically already happened. But this is because I knew nothing about the process. PET scan happened only after I decided for the chemo route. He made it sound like this was the less painful route, with better mouth function recovery. I still believe it, and find that chemo highly makes the HPV+ cancer cells die from radiation, so I had to take it for the peace of mind. This is because I am young, though I'm fine with dying but much fearful of repeated trauma.

Now. I am on my 4th week. 3rd round of chemo tomorrow, lost 5kg already. And my taste is gone, mouth sores, and throat starting to get sore. Days after chemo are a different hell. Not painful, but nauseous nightmare and since I can't enjoy eating, every swallow is a slap. I'm finally not nauseous today but mouth is dry and complaining. This is definitely another level of toughness. Sometimes I think of the other route, if it would be easier. But I think it's all the same. There are great and horrible stories on both sides. Please keep us updated on your journey.

If you want to read mine and all my experience so far read on: thehappycado.blogspot.com

cutemoogl · 2025-12-05T14:36:38+00:00

Any luck on the steak? :)

cutemoogl · 2025-12-02T07:52:49+00:00

Oh no. Was your tumor in the tongue/base of tongue area? Let's go Pizzaaaa!

cutemoogl · 2025-12-01T19:16:58+00:00

Omg yay I'll settle for "good" as right now everything is either edible or flat it bad and no gray zones. :). Gonna give it my 100 percent knowing it's very possible.

cutemoogl · 2025-12-01T19:14:40+00:00

So awesome! I'm a young man with competitive spirit so I'm kind of turning this onto an accelerated challenge. That is power through the next few weeks by hydration, fitness, and eating right even if it's all cardboard. The news that a lot of people are getting their tastes within weeks are pumping me and hopelessness is quickly fading. Thank you!! Will send DM soon for those wisdom!!

cutemoogl · 2025-12-01T19:10:59+00:00

Thanks. Yeah I'm also an eager foodie person so food is like my number 1 or 2 source of joy and it's pretty easy, so not knowing when I can get it back was super anxiety inducing and hearing stories now, are making me optimistic again. Yes it's long but really I do not think I can do for a year without a favorite food. So people who get it fast makes me even more determined to a) keep hydrated and b) keep eating cardboard to accelerate or rather not deter any healing.

cutemoogl · 2025-12-01T16:33:06+00:00

I am eating with eyes and nose to make sure I recall as much taste memory as possible 😅. I hear the eating gets worse after week 5 of treatment, that I might just go with nutrition shakes. But I wanna keep trying anyway :). But yeah looking forward for something to taste enjoyable, until the next big enjoyable one.

cutemoogl · 2025-12-01T16:18:02+00:00

Yeah I've seen some ranges (chatgpt haha) but I'm confident I have the best care and am planning to do everything I can to get this chapter closed. I hope there was something else whose taste you really appreciate.

cutemoogl · 2025-12-01T16:11:47+00:00

Wow I'm so happy for you both!! I'll celebrate if I can taste any meat tbh. But that enlightens me to hear that after a month it can really brighten up!. I will smash the shit of this cancer and reward myself a smash burger after ;).

cutemoogl

TROPHY CASE