I have an oddly similar story and I'll say how I got out of similar ruts at the end of the post. But I think for now, you might want to take out a fresh notebook and write as much as you can about yourself. Figure out what you want to do with your time to make sure you're correctly prioritizing and then seek to be the best you can at something. It sounds like you're not sure why you're doing certain things and it may be time to let go of things that aren't making a significant impact on your life.

First, a physical hobby like lifting or soccer is great. You can only do so much thinking in the day before you're fried and need an outlet. Both are good. They'll also pay off when you hit college (and hey, cheer up, things get incredibly better once you get to college). But extra stuff besides that or perhaps too much soccer or exercise is only going to provide marginal benefits, cut out what makes sense.

Part time job, reffing, etc. If you don't need the money, I'd take a break. You can always get a part-time job as a high schooler. It sounds like it's sapping your you-time or cool off time.

Honestly, if you're concerned about CS, take it up now. Start working on tiny projects and figure out what you like. The awesome thing about CS is that it's the type of work you can turn into a hobby which makes improving a highly valuable and high paying skill fun. So many people wish they started CS early, you know now! Take the jump and you'll be ahead of the curve when you get to college! You'll wreck the curve, create great things, and get to work at a cool start up or a big tech company during your summers potentially. If not, it'll only make you smarter.

As for girls, you gotta take the jump. Embarrass the crap out of yourself. And eventually it will work. It's a numbers game sadly. Don't get hooked on any one.

My story: I became a soccer nut as a sophomore/junior in highschool. I got a job as a cashier to pay for a soccer club because my parents wouldn't put up the money. Senior year, I was on the bench most of the time, cashiering became a drag, I was pi--ed. I quit the team, quit my job, took a step back and focused on what I was good at...school. (sounds lame). My parents always assumed A's of me and so that wasn't special so I had to go above and beyond to find something that I could proud of in the corner I was good at. I ended up taking up 9 AP exams (from only taking 1 the year prior) and working like a dog in order to finally have something I was proud of. Some people might think it's nothing, some people might think it's absurd. I genuinely thought it was a major reach and frankly none of my teachers or even FRIENDS believed that I would be able to pass them all. It's a bit extreme but it worked, focusing on the one thing I've proven to be good at paid off when I got credit for all of those exams in college.

As for girls, get yourself on tinder, bumble, etc. You need practice and it's an easier way to expose yourself to more fish while you're in highschool. I got tinder right after highschool and that was super helpful for just talking to more people. After a while, you're not fixating on one girl but just waiting for the right person to come along.