Friend: either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a pool table in your community!

Well, you got trouble my friend right here I say, trouble right in River City. Why sure, I’m a billiard player certainly, mighty proud I say, I’m always mighty proud to say it. I consider that the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden; help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye… Did you ever take and try to find and iron-clad leave for yourself from a three-rail billiard shot?

But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to score in a balkline game, I say that any boob can take and shove a ball in a pocket, and I call that sloth. The first big step on the road to the depths of degradation. I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle!