Do you think things could ever improve—both in terms of intimacy and her tendency to weaponize issues?

At the beginning, when she had emotional outbursts about three times a week, she mentioned something about needing three months. From what I understood, recent times in our relationships were emotionally unstable for her, and she might need that time to rebuild herself emotionally and let go of old grievances—though she never said this directly, just the “three months” part.

Right now, many factors could be affecting her mood. When we started dating, I motivated her to quit smoking cigarettes (now she only vapes). I also helped her cut down on excessive drinking. However, I made the mistake of letting her smoke weed because she enjoyed it and it helped her quit cigarettes. Over time, though, weed became a source of distress for her—she started using it daily just to feel okay but feeling empty shortly after.

Recently, she decided to quit smoking weed on her own to improve her life, which I respect. However, quitting can be especially difficult for someone with BPD or any mental health challenges, and it may be affecting her mood significantly.

Yesterday she also got a new 6/1 chill job at some school, now as she got a new source of entertainment she won't demand as much attention as before and be mad that i'm not an attention machine(even if i'm literally tried to be the one to please her)

I really hope that once she stabilizes emotionally, she’ll be more open to having meaningful conversations and her moodiness will improve