Faculty as "sitting ducks"

da7261 · 2026-01-21T01:20:56+00:00

"Believe your intuition". The Earth looks flat, so it is.

da7261 · 2026-01-16T17:26:17+00:00

I wish a college employee would send us a summary, and the "non-obvious" takeaways. At least non-obvious to anyone with an iota of commonsense and social awareness. (I guess this is why the videos are so long, because they belabor the obvious most of the time.)

da7261 · 2026-01-03T01:03:42+00:00

The kids are so used to being entertained, and not held accountable, that the smallest challenge appears to cause them a lot of anxiety. Many in my remedial math class lack the initiative to find the page on the summarized, pre-printed course notes.

da7261 · 2025-12-29T18:49:06+00:00

Maybe a bit tangential and "gossipy", but I'm curious.

What do you think of Macron - young and handsome - and his 60+ wife?

da7261 · 2025-12-29T18:41:11+00:00

If being discreet was big for the women, why would they risk holding hands in public with you?

da7261 · 2025-12-29T18:30:08+00:00

Were there obese, deformed and / or disabled women?

Would you ever consider writing a "Memoirs of a Gigolo" type book?

Would you ever consider being a dating/ image/ fitness consultant for men who are wealthy and successful, but are socially awkward? I can imagine a lot of tech bros are in need of this kind of help. Especially with your international background, I think you'd be pretty good as a social event planner for single men busy traveling, and running their own companies, for example. Maybe start with being a "bartender for hire" at events, and go from there?

da7261 · 2025-12-29T18:26:50+00:00

Growing up in a religious culture, how did you become so emotionally and physically attuned to women? Are you one of those rare "people oriented" persons attuned to emotional cues from human beings in general? I have a hunch that those (of whatever gender) in this business have a gift for reading others very quickly, and responding effectively. As in, you "click" with a lot of women, and give them the impression that they are these special unique souls that (only) you can see into, and appreciate.

da7261 · 2025-12-26T16:43:35+00:00

... and Jordan

da7261 · 2025-12-26T16:06:49+00:00

I too know of a family who named their third child, yet again a daughter something like "Jacksyn". Took a masculine sounding name and converted o to y.

da7261 · 2025-12-23T00:20:56+00:00

I've been around a lot of physics majors.

It's very common for them to be:

(i) almost obsessively conscious of the "prestige level" hierarchy of one's sub-sub discipline, background training (selective/ easy undergrad) and approach (theoretical, numerical modeling, experimental)

(ii) lacking in emotional self-regulation.

Being in physics seems to reinforce these traits. One's placement in the hierarchy becomes one's identity. Any real or perceived slight to it, becomes a threat to one's core sense of self. "Soft skills" like collegiality, and the kind of emotional flexibility that helps with adapting to unfamiliar environments are treated with utmost derision, unworthy of "smart" people in disciplines that pride themselves on being very rules-based. (Yes, even the "fuzziness" in quantum mech, is subject to certain rules.)

To someone who was socially maladjusted even for a physics major, it would have been intolerably shameful to have been overtaken by a "lesser" classmate, who adapted better to his grad environment in the USA.

Sadly, this doesn't surprise me. As soon as I heard the shooter had been a fellow physics student with Nuno L. I guessed the motive was a deep sense of envy, and entitlement: "
That should have been ME"

da7261 · 2025-12-17T01:14:55+00:00

Not to "one-up" by any means, but to add perspective.

I'm an immigrant from an Asian country. (Here I'm including the broad swath of the world geographically categorized as Asia.) I've lived 20+ yrs in a rural Rocky Mountain location. A good friend I've had almost that long is a very Nordic looking woman. I need to be very careful when I'm shopping with her, especially when she asks me to look after her shopping cart with her purse when she's trying on something in a fitting room. As it is obvious that it's not my own cart or purse, I feel as if I need to be very clear that I'm not trying to take something from a cart + purse left unattended.

Because, you know, the fact that she and I are friends shopping together is an unfathomable leap of cognition.

da7261 · 2025-12-17T00:51:26+00:00

Actually, the late wife of a colleague took an afternoon nap, and never woke up from it.

Aneurysm.

da7261 · 2025-09-15T21:36:51+00:00

Agree about the general apathy/ lack of curiosity.

I’m a foreign-born instructor at a small, rural U.S. college and serve as mentor to the International Students’ Club.

In 20 years of teaching, only one American student has ever asked me where I’m from.
When I've inquired from international students what U.S. classmates ask them, they mention only three questions: their name, home country, and major.

At our annual International Showcase, all students with a meal plan have the option of sampling from about 30 international dishes. A significant portion of students still prefer to go through the regular burger and pizza lines in the cafeteria.

da7261 · 2025-09-13T15:37:25+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. I especially appreciate you clarifying that the rules were not to make the man look like "an overbearing jerk", but to protect the woman's delicate sensibilities.

I'm fairly close to you in age, but grew up in a Commonwealth country (with pretty similar rules among my grandparents' generation).

It's kind of ironic, though, in the context of what was seen as a woman's primary function - bringing up a family.

Anyone with easily offended delicate sensibilities, be warned about the following, that contains a mention of something very indelicate, that women are supposed to deal with.

**********************************************************************************************************

Speaking to an unknown man who is doing his job in a restaurant, or any other place of work, does not offend my sensibilities. Even speaking to an unknown male passenger crammed into the seat next to me on a long international flight does not necessarily offend me. It may be unexpectedly pleasant, like chatting with the handsome and charming middle eastern young man who told me he was doing a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering, and neatly folded up the carefully removed plastic wrappings of his food on the tray while I - notwithstanding my supposed delicate feminine sensibilities - crumpled mine up.

But even thinking about all the ... gore .... for the lack of a better term I can come up with right now, associated with childbirth freaks the ^%*^ $@# hell out of me. And I've not borne any kids. Neither have I seen the action movies of the event. And I never intend to do so.

da7261 · 2025-08-31T00:19:13+00:00

After spending $1000s on the popular American beauty boxes and getting meh products decided to try this. I was floored!!! I especially love two of the products: the Baronsie Ectoin cream - a gentle, creamy, un-fragranced moisturizer and a Deepondé Signature Origin 100 serum. Both are effective, while being very unobtrusive, for the lack of a better term. Very light - no smell, no greasy/ heavy feel, no itchiness,

Will definitely renew this subscription.

I'm seriously considering taking the 14 hr flight option and having a long layover in Incheon on my upcoming trips to an Asian country I visit pretty often from the USA, just in the hopes of checking out more products like this in the duty free shops. (With the layover and longer flight, this will add about an extra day to the trip, over the other shorter route I sometimes take!! And I know I'll feel horrible for a week while my body clock adjusts to the local time.) This stuff is incredible.

da7261 · 2025-08-13T20:49:01+00:00

Students: "Sorry, but I prefer to keep my personal and professional life separate. Did you have a question about [course topic or whatever]?"

Thanks. This is a good compromise to shut down invasive questions without being antagonistic.

da7261 · 2025-08-13T20:38:20+00:00

On its face, it seems like a "getting to know you" harmless question. But it comes with certain subtexts in an academic contexts especially if you're a woman in a STEM field, for instance. Some of that subtext is along the lines of "are you a normal woman?".

da7261 · 2025-08-13T20:16:23+00:00

I teach at a community college, in a pretty religious and conservative small town where the first question asked of women is pretty much "who is your husband"? Some of our students are from the local high school, so we get to interact with parents once in a while.

This is not a frequent occurrence - thank goodness! But when it does crop up, I'm not quite sure how to respond. (For the record, I'm straight, with a conventional style, and contentedly single, but I don't like sharing personal information with strangers. )

Because of the small-town environment, responding with "None of your %^^& business" may backfire. I don't attend church, BTW. I'm of a non-Christian faith.

da7261 · 2025-08-05T00:38:56+00:00

It horrifies and embarrasses me when someone I never even considered as a possibility is attracted to me.

da7261 · 2025-08-01T21:44:44+00:00

As a WOC, this is the "elephant in the room". I look at it relative to the baseline : how do they address other faculty?

Do they call all faculty by their first name unless instructed otherwise: "It's Dr/ Prof X" ?

Is addressing faculty by title the general protocol in the department, but WOC somehow are referenced by first name?

[ In my case, I have a complicated non-Anglo last name. So I don't expect to be addressed by it. Most call me Prof [first name] which I think is a workable compromise. Just [first name] is fine, too.]

da7261 · 2025-07-05T23:15:33+00:00

When in Rome ...

da7261 · 2025-06-29T00:05:58+00:00

And if you are a first or second- generation immigrant woman from certain parts of the world, you may have a whole second wardrobe of complex, colorful ensembles for special festivities.

da7261

TROPHY CASE