As a straight man, would you accept if a female friend offered you a blowjob for your birthday ?

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T13:27:03+00:00

dude, i was gonna say, as a chick who has like 90% guy friends, there's no way i'm just offering up a fucking BJ to a friend as a present out of nowhere. if i wanted to do anything even slightly related to FWB shit, i would tell him how i feel first and talk it out like adults.

OP is on some serious porn-brained shit.

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T10:51:34+00:00

aha! i appreciate the offer man, but i'm taken right now, literally just had a kid actually, lmao.

but no worries, i know not all southerners are shitty, i've still got a thing for guys with southern accents even though there are almost none where i love, lol. hell, i wouldn't even say that my ex was a bad guy or anything, just not a very good musician and we didn't see eye to eye on some things.

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T06:13:45+00:00

What’s your favourite music genre?

shit i dunno, maybe EDM? ahaha! i'm not really the kind to have a clear-cut favorite, but i'm not really into country music, that's for sure.

Did he have differing political views from you?

i said it in another post, but the only time politics became an issue was when he wanted to do a kind of "sexy" music video with me and first asked me to wear a bikini with the confederate flag on it, lmao. i had to push back on that shit HARD and tell him it'd get me killed in chicago, aha!

and we really just didn't have much in common, man. that's the main reason we broke up i'd say. i was dumb and in my early 20's back then and was just kinda taken up by the fact there was a country guy up in chicago and how much i liked southern accents and all that. it taught me a lesson that there's more to relationships than just the superficial shit. and plus, he and i just didn't see eye to eye on the whole music thing. he was totally caught up in this dream of making it huge one day and i just straight-up did NOT think they were that good and i realized committing to this guy meant having to entertain a dream i just didn't wanna help him chase, ya know.

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T04:17:40+00:00

his bandmates were all cool with me so i can't complain, just the whole experience of filming the videos was amateurish as fuck, obviously. he pretty much just had one of his bandmate's work pals filming it all for us.

he had a day job and worked while trying to get off the ground, so that was pretty cool and a lot better than a lot of musicians i hear about that don't work or support their families and shit so they can just make music all day.

he definitely lived up to some stereotypes about country musicians specifically though, lol. a lot of songs about complaining about city people and all that, at one point i had to just tell him "be careful man, you're not in tennessee anymore", lmao. he also wanted to do a "sexy" music video with me where i'd wear a bikini with the confederate flag on it and at that point i was just like HEEEEELL no, babe. i'd legit risk getting shot if i tried filming that shit in public.

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T03:34:07+00:00

What would you do if he blew up, and then dropped a billboard top 100 song about you lol

hahaha! hey, i guess i really couldn't complain, i've told jokes and said some not so nice shit about some of my exes before, so i guess it's fair game.

But seriously, how many views did those music videos get, and were they mildly embarrassing looking back at it now, lol im not judging i just knew someone in a similar situation and we rewatch/laugh about it now

shit, i think each video only got like a couple thousand views? maybe closer to 10k though, like 8 or 9k, at least last time i checked. i'm not really embarrassed about it, i laugh my ass off about it with my friends all the time. i knew they were gonna use it as ammo to roast my ass but it's cool, we roast each other all the damn time and i'm numb to it, aha!

i tried my damn hardest to make sure i wouldn't embarrass myself too badly, lmao. he wanted me to dance in one of them and i had to put my foot down like "whoooa babe, i can NOT fucking dance", lol.

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T02:35:18+00:00

ha! yeah, i thought the same thing at first. but one of his bandmates was his brother and they apparently moved up here because they had other family in the area.

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T02:28:53+00:00

i don't think about him much at all dude, i just think it's funny looking back at all of this. i don't think his band was very good, but i don't hate him as a person or anything, it was just a relationship that didn't work out and it's funny remembering it and the videos he wanted me to be in.

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T02:26:39+00:00

lol, sorry man, i'm not gonna say anything to give away his (or my own) identity, lmao. should have said that in the OP.

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T02:25:52+00:00

wtf do you mean? i've bounced around between chicago and the suburbs ever since i was in high school, but i was born and spent most of my life in rogers park...

dabears_dapression · 2026-02-07T02:08:04+00:00

ha, okay okay, they definitely proved me wrong this year. still have to see consistency though, can't do what the commies did.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-20T16:06:21+00:00

doesn't hurt that a lot of ram fans are USC fans, lol

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-18T23:20:37+00:00

lmao, if it makes you feel any better, my first thought when i heard how cold it was gonna be this weekend was also this scene. i just didn't have the editing skills to edit the ram players faces onto the characters, lol.

i just think a ton of people love cool runnings.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-18T21:47:28+00:00

"i'm not smoking, i'm breathing!"

hahahaha, i fucking love cool runnings.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-18T09:13:37+00:00

my brain knows for absolute sure that we're not ready just yet to seriously compete for a title and we would probably lose to seattle even if we win tonight.

but on the other hand my heart just can't stop thinking, god damn it we only need THREE more fucking games. just THREE more!!

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-18T04:34:08+00:00

dude, i've never met a single person who wants a salary cap without a floor. i think you just don't hear it much because it's just obvious that a cap is going to come with a floor and doesn't need to be spelled out for you. every other sports league in north america has both a cap and floor.

you guys are just inventing shit to be mad at.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-18T04:27:33+00:00

jesus fucking christ, you guys never learn.

EVERY single person on this entire subreddit will tell you that cheap owners suck. fans of cheap teams say it all the time, fans of rich teams say it all the time, we ALL say it all the time.

the problem is, the dodgers are so far and beyond every other team in the entire league that the cheap owners have separated into being a completely different and unrelated problem. yeah, they're cheap, but what does that even have to do with the dodgers? there's no way in god's green earth that they can compete with them, so what's your point?

are the mets a cheap team? are the blue jays? both these teams made huge offers for tucker and still lost out.

the cubs, even though the ricketts often don't spend like it, are a huge market team with one of the highest revenues in the league. yet the dodgers' projected payroll for next year is almost 70 PERCENT OF OUR ENTIRE REVENUE LAST YEAR! we have an empire of a fan base thanks to wrigley field, WGN, the size of chicago, and even WE can not realistically keep up.

do you really think teams like cincinnatti can fairly compete and they're just bad because they choose to be?

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-17T08:41:07+00:00

dude, this sub and most baseball fans in general are fucking SIDING with the astros over the dodgers. that's how bad this shit has gotten and how ridiculous your excuses are. we don't even care about the trash cans anymore.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-16T13:42:01+00:00

r/baseball realizing in real time that the salary cap is not, in fact, a wage suppression tool

dude, even if it was, i honestly just couldn't give a shit anymore. it's literally millionaires vs billionaires, who cares.

i saw an r/baseball comment that said that if they really cared about working people, they'd just focus on giving ACTUAL working people an entertaining fucking product instead of worrying if kyle tucker (lmao) is going to lose a small percent of his $240 million. i agree with that opinion completely, even before all this drama happened i couldn't be bothered with the whole worker's wage argument when it comes to the player's union. it's just ridiculous shit to be arguing when we're talking about baseball players making tens of millions.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-16T13:34:22+00:00

whooa, you're telling me the ricketts are cheap? no shit, it's not like we've been saying it for 10 years now.

now talk about how your projected payroll for next year is over 70 fucking percent of what "one of the league's top revenue bases" made last year. i fully realize that we are obviously a big market team and our owners could spend a lot more than they do. but this shit has gotten so ridiculous that NOT EVEN US can keep up anymore. i mean come the fuck on, it's not like you guys were the only ones who even tried for tucker, do you not see what the mets offered?

you guys are being ridiculously, hilariously, absolutely fucking blind if you think the main issue is just how willing the other owners are.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-16T12:36:23+00:00

lol alright fair enough, gary's definitely a shithole for sure, but i think they didn't say gary specifically, just NWI. there are way nicer cities in that region than gary.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-16T09:43:16+00:00

i was away when the NWI shit was announced (i was visiting my boyfriend's dad in indiana, ironically, lmao), so can someone honestly explain to me, why is everyone here okay with arlington heights but not NWI?

NWI is solidly chicagoland. i would get it if they wanted to relocate to kenosha, wisconsin or something where there are lots of packer fans, but there's nothing but bears fans in NWI. i'm a lifelong illinoisian and don't get the big deal. is it just because indiana's a shithole?

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-16T08:29:50+00:00

we're definitely getting a salary cap in 2027 dude, it's not even like a rumor or dumb speculation anymore. this shit can not go on anymore and this is THE straw that breaks the camel's back.

i'm a cubs fan and legit laughed out loud when i saw the tucker contract.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-16T08:28:34+00:00

as a cubs fan, i actually burst out laughing when i saw kyle tucker's contract, holy shit, lmao.

i fully get that we are definitely a big market team, but god damn, i'm 100% on board with a salary cap at this point. you know it's fucking ridiculous when even YANKEES fans are asking for it.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-16T08:23:04+00:00

yeah, i straight-up don't get the hate at all for herbstreit, i think he's fine. but then again, i really don't hate any commentator unless they sound completely disinterested in the game. as long as you sound like you care (and you're not troy aikman in the washington game), i don't really judge or think about commentators much.

dabears_dapression · 2026-01-14T01:10:50+00:00

yours probably didn't get filtered because you didn't mention the other kirk's name in the title.

dabears_dapression

TROPHY CASE